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Drunk blog, won't delete later; don't feel cute

On 06/14/2019 at 04:56 AM by Super Step

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But I do feel weirdly existential and almost fuckin' 30! 

Just ... apologies to Nick first and foremost. I signed on to staff write for the site on the promise of unique and more importanly fucking TIMELY video content and I have so far provided ... two video reviews? Months after release like an asshole!

I'd say my social media advertiting job search are an excuse, but fuck my lazy ass, I've just been .. well ... you know ... too cheap to pay for Life is Strange 2 all at once when I was excited to pay for it episodically. What is the point of releasing it piecemeal if you're going to charge full pri ... y'know, I can work this into a review, I bet. Still owe that Iris.Falls review from early this sucking year ... JESUS.

Good news is, I got my old job back, but with a different title and a decent raise. It's making me very optimistic about how great I am at poetry and I'm happy to say: undeservedly so. I don't have a goddamn thing to say that hasn't been said before, I'm just way too happy to say it!

Look, I'm happy for you all and this E3 thing, I really am. Hell, I'm ecstatic for me and that's just because I have a fucking income again ... hell, WILL have an income once I sign the dotted line and it's the end of goddamn August! I'm legitimately thrilled about it, but at the same time wondering where to go from here. I'm 30 and have barely dated anyone, and if we're being honest, I don't give a fuck how shallow it SOUNDS I want a wife and family goddammit. Even despite every 40-something friend I have getting a divorce, I want that shit!

OK ... I probably WILL delete this later. But not before saying I'm glad you're still with us, you reading this. After all the shit you've inevitably been through, that's saying something. Keep going. 

I'm out! I'll be a fully functioning adult tomorrow, I swear!

Enjoy E3! You've earned it!



Jamie Alston Staff Writer

06/14/2019 at 07:40 AM

You're hilarious Super Step! I'm glad that things are working our for you on the job front. It's always great to be able to do a job you love and get paid faily well to do it. Congrats man.

I too often felt the pinch of guilt that sometimes days turn into weeks...turn into months without me posting a retro review on the site. I mean...that was my unique corner on the here fine webspace. But sometimes, family obligations to my wife and son keep me away for devoting more time to my craft. But I try not to let it get me down. I just use whatever time I do have to write and post when the time is right.

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/14/2019 at 11:20 AM

See, that's a legitimate excuse. Mine is usually "I blocked off the entire day to look for work, but what actually happened is The Matrix and Indiana Jones theologies got added to Netflix and I suck."

Matt Snee Staff Writer

06/14/2019 at 10:50 AM

you are pretty damn good at poetry. 

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/14/2019 at 11:22 AM

I'm a professional of prose

A maestro I suppose

Two things I like are Honey bunches of oats and hoes

Gardens, that is

Cary Woodham

06/14/2019 at 12:28 PM

I'm a poet, too.

"Roses are red,"

"Violets are blue,"

"Some poems rhyme,"

"But this one doesn't."

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/14/2019 at 06:32 PM



06/14/2019 at 02:44 PM

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occassionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.

Paul Neil Milne Johnstone

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/14/2019 at 06:33 PM

That's about what I'd expect from a man with four names. 


06/14/2019 at 07:37 PM

Hey, it's worse than "Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly" or "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Day Morning."

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/14/2019 at 08:31 PM

I'm honestly pretty curious about Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly. 


06/14/2019 at 09:46 PM
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!


06/15/2019 at 08:48 PM

Oh yea, the one from Hitchhiker's Guide. Very Lewis Carol. 


06/15/2019 at 08:49 PM

Good for you with work. I'm done with school and now up and down with depression, trying to look for something. 

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/15/2019 at 09:42 PM

Don't hesitate to reach out. I had Major Depressive Disorder in 2016 and it was terrifying. Definitely want to help anyone else with that garbage in any way I can. 


06/15/2019 at 09:47 PM

Thanks. I'm not so bad like I was summer of 2017 before I got to go back to school, but it's keeping me from doing more work on job searches. It makes me procrastinate. I'm struggling with it but I'm getting more work done week by week. 

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/15/2019 at 09:49 PM

Baby steps is the way to go. You're on the right track as long as next week is a little better than the last. 


06/15/2019 at 09:51 PM

So far, I've been making small progress. I've given myself a good long time to look, but I don't want it to take too darn long. 

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/15/2019 at 10:05 PM

I understand completely. I got lucky in a few areas and was allowed to be complacent, but there were definitely times I kicked myself for how little I was really doing due to some depression of my own. 

This may sound odd, but since it's a gaming website, I'll mention that can help clear my mind and get my brain juices flowing. Might work for you. A hobby like exercise or musical instrument helps too and I'm all about therapy and medication if affordable (llok into sliding rates and online resources too). 


06/15/2019 at 10:21 PM

The gaming with my friend Mark helps but sometimes can take up too much time. I read a lot, which helps, but I'm trying to get more focused and practical in my book choices. I'm also trying to take up classical guitar again, but I fear I won't have the time for it. Just getting the books again and strumming here and there seems to help though. I'm trying to avoid the medication route, but I'm experimenting with vitamin suppliments, diet and exercise. 

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