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Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Review

He is the snake to my mongoose. Or the mongoose to my snake. Either way, it’s bad. I don’t know animals.

I could write a perfectly standard review of Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor. I could go point by point and explain how this is a third person action game with heavy emphasis on stealth and melee combat in the vein of Batman: Arkham Asylum/City. I could talk about the great graphics and the satisfying fighting mechanics, and how some of the stiff animation and problems with context-sensitive button prompts are the reason why it doesn’t get five stars. I could do all of that and you would have a good idea of what Shadow of Mordor is, but you wouldn’t understand what makes it new and special. So I have a different idea.

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Ram Racing Review

Need for sleep.

This review is part of the 2014 Sh*tty Game Review Fest - read about the event here.

Believe it or not, the Dodge Ram license is the least offensively bad part of this bargain bin shovelware detritus that came out on Wii a few years ago. I'll grant that it's a fairly novel way to grab the attention of the idiot masses, and it's never been done before. Now that the good aspects are covered, it's all downhill from here.

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Retro City Rampage: DX Review

Electric Seaweed.

Video game parody is hardly something new. For generations, games have found plenty of subtle (and not so subtle) ways to lampoon iconic games, the industry, and culture. Until Retro City Rampage, I’m not sure we’ve had a single work that’s so utterly dedicated to the practice. You won’t find a single mission in the game that’s not parodying games, or ‘80s/’90s culture, or something you’re sure to remember if you grew up during the days of the NES.

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Retro City Rampage - 3DS Trailer

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Velocity 2X - Gameplay Footage

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Velocity 2X - Story Trailer

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Velocity 2X - Gameplay Trailer

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Velocity Ultra - E3 Trailer

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