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Nerds Without Pants   

Nerds Without Pants Episode 133: The Greatest Show on Earth

Or: The Brotherhood of the Vanishing Pants

The Nerds Without Pants are back with an episode full of quick time events, animated blood and gore, and tales of medical woe. We won’t be back for a little bit in our standard format, but fear not, as Julian has a special in the works to tide you lovely people over until we’re back. Enjoy!

00:00-08:48: Intro

09:03-00:53:38: STAGE SELECT- What is your video game spirit animal?

00:54:36-1:58:13: CONSUMPTION JUNCTION- Path of Exile, Warhammer 40K: Inquisition: Martyr, Hearthstone, Blizzard aesthetic, “the meta”, the end of Invincible, Ready Player One, Julian’s Nightwish emergency

1:58:50-2:35:07: PAK WATCH- God of War (2005)

2:35:22-2:38:44 Outro


STAGE SELECT: Pick entrance music for the hosts if they were in the WWE (preferably video game songs)

PAK WATCH: Final Fight (1989)




Nightwish- The Greatest Show on Earth

Nightwish- The Poem and the Pendulum

Nightwish- Wish I had an Angel

Nightwish- The Eyes of Sharbat Gula

Battle Beast- God of War




Exrian Contributing Writer

04/26/2018 at 11:13 AM

First off, Julian I'm glad to hear you're ok. I'm sad to hear about your scary incident. I can only imagine how anxious you must have felt. Fainting isn't normal like a nosebleed or something. Hope it turns out to be nothing. Sucks it had to happen during an event you were looking forward to.

Great episode guys. Yeah you guys always help the time pass. I never meant to imply you don't get the podcast out on time. I live in an area with Daylight Savings so never know what time it is. Some podcasts are more noise to drown out work but some are standouts and 3 are day changers (such as NWP). The other 2 being All Systems Goku and Cagcast.

I mentioned before how I miss Dan being on Giant Bombcast and after starting All Systems Goku I believe a lot of that is the interaction between Gerstman and Dan. Ben has been more annoying to me lately. He seems to try too hard to riff I think. Maybe that's just me being disappointed he isn't Dan. I really like Dan and Vinny interaction but that seems so infrequent. Dan on Bombcast was my favorite Podcast but since leaving it hasn't been the same.

Cagcast shares a lot of what I enjoy about NWP. 3 main hosts who are all friends and can get silly. The fun riffing on CheapyD from Wombat after beating a 13 year old girl in ping pong is hilarious. I burst out laughing at the Gamestop Circle of Life song Cheapy sang. They are more current gaming heavy than NWP but there's just good old fashioned BS'ing also.

I'm disappointed to hear that Pak Watch has dropped the numbers. I'll admit I enjoyed Chrono Crossing more but it wasn't something that you could continue unless you were just going to ask for honorable mentions for each year. To be fair it's probably been more about the fact I have only really played 1 of the games discussed than it being a bad segment. The ones on games I'm familiar with have been great.

The new God of War has been pretty damn tough. Maybe I should just go normal but it's a dumb pride thing since I play all games on the tier after normal. Unless there's only 3 options then I go normal. I didn't think I'd struggle so much but maybe it's more about me trying to be fancy when I should just be blocking. It's hard to get into that habit since I dropped shields 3 Souls games ago.

Also those PSP GoW games were very good at the time and the 2nd one had his brother in it. I remember those scenes after beating the original GoW. They also hinted at the events that came later with Kratos being Zeus' son.

Stage Select: Host Wrestling Themes

Julian seems like a fan of rock and combining that with his love for Doom seemed like it would work.

Angelo appreciates great platformers so I decided to go with a good one from a game he seemed to enjoy.

Patrick has the type of mind that comes along once a decade. Let's just say sometimes he can be out there... Don't worry we still love you Patrick.

Can't comment on it. I played Final fight 3 so many years ago at a friends but that was it.


BONUS: Here's the Circle of Life Song if anyone is interested. Made me laugh. Be warned I was having a goofy day and having watched Lion King is a plus.

Julian Titus Senior Editor

04/26/2018 at 12:13 PM

I’m getting my ass kicked on the regular on normal! That close up camera is not helping, and something about the Dark Souls-esque button layout is not clicking for me.

Exrian Contributing Writer

04/26/2018 at 10:29 PM

Sorry to say this but I'm glad I'm not in this alone. Makes me feel better that a fellow hardcore gamer is also getting their face smashed. I'm still pretty early in so maybe it'll help once I get a health upgrade and better armor. 


04/26/2018 at 05:20 PM

Stage Select: I'm not gonna lie... I am super hyped for this... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO NWPPW! We have a great show for you tonight!

Introducing first... Weighing in at... enough pounds! He is the Sound of Silence! The ultimate strategist! The thinking man of the Nerds Without Pants Podcast! Angelo Grant! ...I imagine Angelo wrestling a very European technical style like William Regal or if we want to be fancy and new school, Zack Sabre Jr. He targets a body part and doesn't let up until his opponents are defeated. He enters the ring to Schism by Tool, because Angelo Grant knows the pieces fit. Each match is a puzzle to this man. A puzzle he will inevitably solve.

And now! Making his way to the ring! Weighing in at question mark pounds! From Chicago Illinois! The Starchild! Patrick! Kiiiiiiijek! ...I imagine Patrick wrestling a very high risk, high reward style of wrestling. He is a fan favorite underdog like Rey Mysterio or Jushin Thunder Lyger. He lays his heart and soul on the line for his fans and is not afraid to use unconventional tactics to confuse and bewilder his opponents. Patrick enters the ring to Cotopaxi by The Mars Volta. A song that I cannot fully explain... Just like I cannot fully explain Patrick, and that's why he's great.

And last but far from least... Weighing in at... pounds! Hailing from Austin, Texas! He is! The Reigning! Defending! Undisputed! Nerds Without Pants Pro Wrestling Champion of the woooorld! Julian! The Business! Titus! ...I imagine Julian to wrestle a very smashmouth, no nonsense, in your face style of wrestling, but he can do things that other big men simply cannot do and can keep up with anyone in the ring. It's a very Keith Lee style of wrestling. Julian has seen your game. He has played your game. And he has beaten your game. And he will beat your game too. Do not step into this man's ring. This is his yard, and he's pissed you're standing on his grass. Julian Titus is hell bent. Hell bent for leather. He will retain his title, and there is nothing you can do to stop him. And that's why his theme song is Hell Bent for Leather by Judas Priest.

Pak Watch: I really love Final Fight guys. I honestly wish capcom would ressurect this series in a cool way, but I somehow doubt that will ever happen. Instead they'll just keep throwing it's characters into Street Fighter and hoping that it will keep people like me happy. But it won't. I like my Mayor Mike Haggar to fight for Metro City one randomly named thug at a time. Mayor Mike Haggar just wants his daughter back. He is not here to get fireballed by Ryu okay? He is here to have a sweet mustache, a distaste of shirts, and to spinning lariat Mad Gear. And seriously Mad Gear!? Who steals Mayor Mike Haggar's daughter!? Do you not see that mustache!? You are asking for the troubles! ...Oh yea, there's two other guys you can pick in this game... I almost forgot. Well, if you pick Guy or Cody you are wrong... I do not apologize for this opinion. He was even in Saturday Night Slam Masters! Mike Haggar! The Mayor we all deserve!

Episode comment: As a person who has gone through that exact thing at a concert before Julian, I can confirm it is super scary to have happen to you. I actually had it happen in the front row of a mosh pit and had to be pulled out by security guards. It was pretty not fun, so I'm very sorry that it happened to you and I think it's a version of heat stroke, but I cannot confirm that as I am not a doctor. All I know is its not great, so hopefully somebody hears that and heeds your advice.

Va-11 Hall-A is a really unique game. It's not action packed at all, and it makes no apologies for it. There's a message when you start a new game that basically says "This game is made to relax and enjoy the story. So go get some snacks and some drinks and enjoy." The main gimmick is you're a bartender and you make drinks for other people using ingredients and a handbook. There's some puzzle type stuff like one guy comes in and orders a "17" and you have to figure out what the hell that means. You can add extra alcohol to drinks to open up new dialogue with characters, your day begins by loading up the jukebox with whatever songs you want to hear, just little things like that make it cool. But it's mainly about the characters. Some of them are very... anime tropey, at least at first, but I found most of them added to the game in some way and helped shape the world you're living in. The graphics are modeled after old NES style dating sims which is a neat touch. I have a few complaints here and there about some of the story and felt like some of it could have been cut but it's not too big of a thing. The main character Jill is very well written (In my opinion) and I loved her arc through the whole thing. So if you ever need a good, chill game, I recommend giving it a shot. I won't say it's going to blow you away, but it's interesting to say the least. Also it'sd made by Sukeban Games who from what I've gathered is based out of Venezuela? From what I can tell it's written by one guy and I don't know who else worked on it. If it's translated from anything, I can't tell, and I know there are posters of it in Japanese game stores... It's weird.

You did an excellent job with God of War, I sincerely apologize for being negative on it. I'm really REALLY surprised other people were down on it. Usually I'm alone in that fight. At least I made you guys laugh, that always makes me happy. You made excellent points Julian, and Angelo basically made every case I would have had against it for me. It was handled very well and I hope people get to hear it. Still haven't tried the new one yet as I'm going to finish Yakuza 6 first. Keep up the good work guys, and have fun reading my wrestling intros when the time comes! (Sorry if I went to hard on them. I was having fun)

Julian Titus Senior Editor

04/27/2018 at 12:39 AM

I love all of this. And describing my wrestling style like Keith Lee? Brilliant! I don't know if you know this, but I know him! And he knows me! Like, he could pick me out of a crowd! I knew him "when"!


04/27/2018 at 03:49 PM

I am super jealous of this. He is a bad ass. I got turned on to him through Colt Cabana's podcast so I'm a little late to the dance. Really need to get to some indy shows, I've actually never been to one and it seems like a real good time. Thus the struggle of living in a small town and working too much. It is high on my priority list though, but for now I admire most indy stuff from Youtube. Glad I made a good choice there though. Sometimes I get things right.

Julian Titus Senior Editor

04/27/2018 at 05:04 PM

Look up Inspire Pro Wrestling on YouTube. That’s the promotion I attend, and they have been putting matches and entire shows up recently.


04/28/2018 at 07:04 PM

Will have to check out more in my spare time, but I did just watch Delilah Doom vs. Angelus Layne and watched a woman get DDT'd onto a Richard Simmons VHS... I loved every minute of it.

Super Step Contributing Writer

04/26/2018 at 11:22 PM

May 17? I have jury duty that day. Now I feel attacked. 


This podcast got "political" quick (in quotes cause I don't necessarily want to label social issues "politics" as if they're a team sport, but seemed like the best word). Just to throw in, having grown up Catholic, I definitely remember thinking some oddly homophobic things I've since left behind. Most of the "programming" that's still there is just ritual stuff though ... and also with y'all. 

I actually didn't like May that much ... think I related most to Angus the Bear. Never suffered the abuse he describes, but certain family members were pretty combative and we have a similar disposition. And a great ass.

Angelo sounds like he's almost cracking up when talking about family/needing a team. That is some deep stuff.

I mean ... I definitely can't take on 30 kung fu people at once ... but I probably do have the outdated fashion sense Kiryu does ... so this definitely was not about me being "cool." lol Once you got to the "13 going on 30" talk, that was more what I was getting at. The morals thing I'd almost have to appear on the podcast to explain. 

Super Hiryu is interesting, because I do think about how similar Kiryu can be to Spider-Man in terms of video game characterization, what with the beating up crooks in alleyways and sometimes similar movesets. 

I mean ... as far as Cranky Kong ... I am an educator ... Speaking of which, I only have four PhotoShop projects left to grade, so thanks for getting me through the night. 


Julian - Hmmm ... Moderator, some scars from his past, seems to play the role of "nice guy," soooo ... 

I think the theme of the song may be intended as a joke (I mean, I don't speak Japanese, so I have no idea) BUT the sound of it, especially the opening, is probably the closest Yakuza karaoke song to what a WWE wrestler would actually come out to. 

A straightforward sound for the straight man. Julian would be a main eventer and have a popular gimmick. I'll let y'all decide what that is. 

Patrick - Hmmm ... Crazy/manic person who can be hard to read at times, sooo ... 

He'll come out wearing that same roller blade/glitsy suit get up and will mostly be used as the guy who messes up main event matches, so the announcers can say, "OMG that can't be legal can it?! Hit him with the chair when the referee wasn't looking!"

Angelo - Hmmm ... dad/family figure, sooo ...

Angelo will be a heel similar to Kurt Angle. He'll tell kids to pray and eat their veggies like Hulk Hogan, but he'll be doing this to an Attitude era crowd and will be booed off stage every time for trying to make peace between wrestlers during matches. The wrestlers in the ring will roll their eyes and just kinda stand there while he's coming on with "oh FFS" looks on their faces. 

This isn't because I have anything against Angelo; if anything that personality is something I aspire to. I just think a WWE audience would see that character as a heel. 


04/29/2018 at 03:24 AM

Stage Select:

Sorry, these are kind of random. I just like any excuse to bring up some of my favorite game music.

For Julian, I am going to go with Ride the Tiger, Akira's theme from Virtua Fighter 2. Mostly because that's my favorite fighting game series and it gets so little notice. It has great music, and I could honestly do all three songs from the series.

Patrick, I'm going to give him "Sail Over The Storm", Maxi's theme from SoulCalibur.

For whatever reason, I couldn't get the video to work here.


And for Angelo, there is this track from Final Fantasy Tactics, inexplicably named "Antipyretic," a name which brings Tylenol to mind more than epic tactical battles. A lot of the tracks in FFT had rather bizarre names for such a great soundtrack.

Pak Watch:

I have more familiarity with the arcade version of Final Fight than the home version. I guess Nintendo censored Poison out due to the Japanese version having her as a transwoman? The intro and the "Continue" screen, where your character had dynamite strapped to his chest, were memorable. The arcade version of Ninja Gaiden used the same general idea with the continue screen. Way to try to guilt people into spending more money, guys. The bad guys who look like Andre the Giant. I've played it through to the end. Final Fight was all right, but I wasn't a huge fan. My favorite beat-em-ups at the time were Konami's licensed beat-em-ups like TMNT and The Simpsons.


05/15/2018 at 04:05 AM

This episode was so good, it made me really happy that it was full of Nightwish and Battle Beast!

Stage Select

Patrick comes out first. Since his beautiful ginger head is always in the clouds he needs to slowly descend from the rafters as this dreamy Majora's Mask song plays. I'd like to think he's dressed as Tingle and attached to a big red balloon while this happens. Come to think of it this idea may have its origins in some old fantasies I had about the pantless red-headheaded devil, but I think it'll work for a wrestling entrance all the same.

Julian comes out next and it's a bizzare pick but the title screen for Mass Effect needs to play. There's no percussion and it's very atmospheric, but just play it super loud, pan the arena with lights, run a fog machine, and it'll probably work out! There are two possible entrances I can imagine. Either Julian rides out to the ring on a parade style float shaped like the Normandy, or he gets launched into the ring human-cannonball style by a cannon shaped like a mass effect relay.

Angelo has to come out to this version of Bloody Tears and all along the entrance ramp there needs to be dozens of people dressed up like demons laying on the ground, so it's like he's walking over the corpses of his enemies. It's funny, you guys call Angelo the robot but he's the one I give the most metal and upbeat entrance, and I think it fits him! It's 2018 and I think it's safe to say Angelo's no longer the new guy! Geeze, I've been listening to this show for a long time

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