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Nerds Without Pants   

Nerds Without Pants Episode 115: Nerdy Dialogue

Or: Cave Johnson: We Hardly Knew Ye

In the final Nerds Without Pants before E3, the Pantsless Ones get together for a slightly modified episode. We’ve still got our Stage Select and Chrono Crossing segments, but Consumption Junction is replaced with our E3 hopes and predictions. This is a fun episode with lots of surprises, so let’s get to it!

00:00-03:21: Intro

03:37-1:22:41 STAGE SELECT: Top 3 Lines of Dialogue in Video Games

1:23:38-2:05:03: NWP Presents E3 2017 Predictions

2:05:27-2:35:26: CHRONO CROSSING: 1993

2:35:42-2:38:43: Outro and outtakes



With Julian going to E3 expect a couple special episodes during the show. When we get back, it will be an all catch up/Consumption Junction edition of NWP. You can start thinking about your picks for the next Stage Select and Chrono Crossing, but there’s no need to put them in the comments just yet.


STAGE SELECT: Patrick wants to know what video game character (or characters) would be on your novelty toilet paper.

CHRONO CROSSING: What is your favorite game of 1992?


Final Fantasy XIV- Weight of a Whisper

Starbomb- It’s Dangerous to Go Alone

Jonathan Coulton and GLaDOS- Still Alive

DJ Cummerbund- Earth, Wind, and Ozzy

Doom- E1M1



Casey Curran Staff Writer

06/07/2017 at 02:32 AM

Stage Select

I would definitely have Travis Touchdown from No More Heroes on video game toilet paper. It's the only series where you take a shit to save the game, so it's fitting. 

Chrono Crossing

My 1992 pick is Sonic the Hedgehog 2. I've been playing this game every year my whole life and still love it. I have many fond memories of finally reaching a new zone and getting a magical feeling taking in the new area, music, enemies, and Dr Robotnik machine, who me and my cousins would call Dr. Robuttnik. It still has my favorite soundtrack from any game and Chemical Plant Zone is still one of my all time favorite levels.

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/07/2017 at 08:53 PM

Stage Select

Kirby, with his mouth open; wonder what powers he'll get. This isn't out of hate; it's more about wondering what would happen if those were real Kirbys. 

Chrono Chrossing


Super Mario Kart probably isn't the best game in the series. I remember loving multiplayer Mario Kart 64 battles when I would rent it or play at a friend's house. Double Dash was a pretty good Christmas memory for me and the only kart game I own. Mario Kart 8  is solid from what I've played of it, minus the battle system, and looks quite pretty.

But Super Mario Kart might actually be my favorite, due to personal experience. I loved the Mode 7 graphics at the time, and it's the only game in the franchise that really "wowed" me when I played it, in large part due to my age. I was 2 when it released, and likely played it via rentals around 4 or 5. I can't remember if my older brother rented it, or I was allowed to pick games out for his system to keep our parents happy, but I still love the core game that set the groundwork for everything that came after. It's definitely an early gaming memory that for some reason reminds me of summer?

I think I'd like the series more if I played multiplayer more often, but I've always played more single player.  

Julian, I think there are a handful of audio issues toward the end.

Julian Titus Senior Editor

06/08/2017 at 03:37 PM

I listened to it yesterday and the last 8 minutes today. Can you be more specific? I didn't notice anything.

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/08/2017 at 07:06 PM

It appears to be that it was on my end. Your voice was heavily overmodulated around the 2:15 mark or so, and a handful of times thereafter, but listening again today, there don't seem to be these issues. Never mind, I guess. Sorry for the false alarm. 

The only "audio" issue, then, is I meant to call the car smashing levels iconic, rather than ironic. Although I guess ironic works ... lol 

Also, just to make everyone mad, I really never played the original Doom much. I think other FPS of the time turned me off to the idea and I've never been great at FPS because my lack of spatial awareness often leads to me being ambushed, unless it's a cover shooter where the game basically tells you to "kneel here and shoot." I also remember a PC game where you literally shot viruses to death inside someone's body. I think there was a game based on the cereal Chex that was similar ... 

I rented Doom 64 a couple times though.


06/08/2017 at 05:33 PM

I had a weird thing happen today when I listened to this. I've been kind of chain listening to all the old episodes of the show while I'm at work in little chunks. (It seriously helps pass a 12 shift) Today I was... somewhere near episode 60-70 and I heard the zelda song come on. And then I had the new episode come up right after that. When you mentioned the song and how you had played it before, I may have said out loud, in front of a group of coworkers, "You did! I just listened to that!" So now they probably think I'm an insane person, but I'm okay with this. Also if this podcast were a TV series I would say it has some of the best character progression ever. Love this show!

Stage Select:

I'm going to have to go with Terry Bogard from King of Fighters/Fatal Fury. If anyone is unfamiliar with Mr. Bogard, he is probably the most hilarious Japanese stereotype for Americans ever. Me and a group of friends used to play King of Fighters a fair amount, and I swear every one of them used this guy. I however, refused to do so, and tried to branch out into other characters. All my efforts were futile however as I was constantly defeated while hearing the phrase "Are you okay? KAISER WOLF!" I hate Terry Bogard. I hate him so much. Maybe this is more a story about how I love fighting games but suck at them. I don't care. F@#$ Terry Bogard!

Chrono Crossing:

I'm gonna pick Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest. I know a lot of people have beef with this game, but I got it for Christmas along with my Super NES. I was really too young at the time to understand how RPG's worked, but I kept going back to it. It's been a game I've wanted to revisit for a long time now, and that soundtrack was pretty great. I still hum the battle theme to this day. Maybe not the best game by any stretch, but it's one I've never forgotten.

Julian Titus Senior Editor

06/08/2017 at 11:41 PM

That story made my day. It makes me so happy to hear when people go back and listen to older episodes, because we have all tried very hard to make the show work no matter how old they are, and I think they hold up well, other than the lower editing and audio quality as I was learning how to do this. 

How did you find us, if I may ask? I feel like we've been picking up a lot of new listeners lately, but I'm not quite sure how...


06/09/2017 at 01:55 AM

I found the show through the Square Roots podcast. I'm pretty new to podcasts in general, so whenever I hear something recommended by another show I check it out. You had John Brandon on for the music episode and I loved the format. I've been listening ever since and loving it. I know I love a podcast when I start commenting out loud to it. So then I figured I might as well start putting those comments on this site cause why not? It's easily in my top 2 favorite podcasts for sure. It's very laid back which is what I love about it. It also helps your cause when I find someone who feels basically the exact same way I feel about Zelda games Julian. We may be a minority, but I'm glad we exist.

Exrian Contributing Writer

06/09/2017 at 04:40 PM

Welcome to the crew. I've been listening to podcasts for about 4 years now. I got about 15 main podcasts and NWP is second (or third) only to Beast/Bombcast. But in fairness I think thats also Julians top podcast. As you've stated, it's laid back and just a good listen. Some hosts come off like they are better than you. NWP just feels like hanging with friends. Where else would you get hosts that hang around here and shoot the breeze regularly?

Julian Titus Senior Editor

06/11/2017 at 09:48 PM

Ah, John Brandon. If I could steal him away from Square Roots I totally would. Really glad that you hopped on after he guested on the show. If you have any comments on older shows, feel free to tweet us or comment on the older threads. I should see them. 

Also, we Zelda critical people need to stick together!

Exrian Contributing Writer

06/09/2017 at 04:26 PM

Great show guys. You were correct about Kid, Julian. Lucca finds and adopts her. Kid is Schala's daughter/clone. I don't know if you ever saw the anime cutscenes for Chrono Trigger on PSX but the baby Lucca finds is Kid. Lynx ends up killing Lucca which is why Kid wants revenge.

I was really surprised to hear that you never played the other 2 Metroid Primes considering how much you loved the first. I'd say 2 is very good but not as good as 1. The 3rd was definitely lacking. There was like 4 upgrades for the freaking grappling hook. It was ridiculous.

I'm also surprised how much you dislike PC gaming but I guess that's part of why I like this show. Like I've said, just normal fellas who love to play games. I got friends who always berate my consoles but I wouldn't trade them for anything. I just want to insert a disc and play. I'd hate to be one of those guys on a forum trying to figure out why my newest, most anticipated game won't run on my PC. Too many variables there.

Anyways on to some Stage Select

Stage Select: Toilet Paper Characters

Slippy Toad (Starfox)
He's so annoying. I just shoot him down and get it out of the way.

Falco Lombardi (Starfox)
He's so smug but he'll always be 2nd rate.

Dog (Duck Hunt)
If you don't hate this dog, you didn't have a Nintendo.

Dan (Street Fighter)

Cow (Fighters Destiny)
I still remember the swaying utter dance after a defeat. I'll be eating your brethren for dinner...

Voldo (Soul Calibur)
This guy is just too out there. I love slamming my blade over his head.

Chrono Crossing: Streets of Rage 2
Streets of Rage is one of the series I recall most from my childhood. I always had friends over so there was always someone to play with. I still wait for a sequel or spiritual successor that can capture the feeling of these types of games.  

Julian Titus Senior Editor

06/11/2017 at 09:54 PM

I realize it's probably not fair to Metroid Prime 2 and 3 since I play game sequels like Gears of War 2 and Halo 4 which are very similar to their predicessors, but there was just something about the look of Prime 2 and 3 that made me extremely underwhelmed. It may have also been part of my increasing sadness with the Gamecube, which I was very high on from the outset and just became more and more disappointed as time went on. 

I have fond memories of PC gaming from when I first got a computer. In fact, my Chrono Crossing pick for 1992 was almost another PC game. But I've had a controller in my hand since I was seven, and it's always been the most comfortable for me, especially as PC hardware became more complex,

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/10/2017 at 05:09 PM

I skipped the E3 section the first time I listened and I must say, that Earth, Wind, and Ozzy song just works. 

Metroid Prime 2 was NOT the same game as 1. Not even close. F* the dark world and its stupid penis boss.

Nintendo wasn't the developer, but that "adult Nintendo" thing was part of why Eternal Darkness was exciting. No idea how that sold. *Looks up vgchartz* *Weeps in disappointment*

I'm with you on PC, Julian. I could never figure out why Fez would glitch out on me when Tomb Raider 2013 would be ok; or why my controller would SOMETIMES work on Psychonauts, but I'd need the keyboard at others; and I hated having to set RE4 HD on lower settings because the frame rate would get weird otherwise. But at the same time, I'm just so happy with PS4 and its exclusives that I'm just not interested in the Scorpio. I will always be a console gamer, but the XBOX brand has just never really appealed to me for some reason. The subscription service is 10000000x better than shitty PS Now though; I'll give you that.

One of the reasons VR hasn't taken off is cause people can't try it for themselves first. Sure, it looks cool to me, but I'm not plunking down ANY cash until I can try it. Or maybe that's just why I don't adopt it, but prohibitive pricing without a chance to try what you're getting can't be my concern alone. 

Pokemon Snap AR with printable images/stickers ... My body is ready.

Julian Titus Senior Editor

06/11/2017 at 09:55 PM

Yeah, I was at a Best Buy in Colorado Springs late last year and they had the PSVR being demoed, but it was being done by a Sony PR person, so it isn't like you can just go to that store and try it out any time, and that's a shame. I really enjoy VR, and I need to try out some more games for it. I haven't bought anything for it since I got it, so I'm part of the problem.

Jamie Alston Staff Writer

06/12/2017 at 07:48 AM

Stage Select:

1. Lakitu (first Super Mario Brothers game)

2. The Joker (NES Batman)

3. Every character in Blaster Master 2, including Jason and the SOPHIA tank. That game was the most disappointing sequel I had ever played.

Chrono Crossing 1992:

"Sonic the Hedgehog 2"! what I would have picked had I not started playing A Link to the Past last week. Although, as of this writing, I am only about 1/4 through the game now (right after Agahnim pulls you into the dark world), I've been won over fairly quickly.

The simplistic sword fighting mechanics are great, the music oh so nice, and I'm a sucker for that sense of adventure I get from Zelda games!

Sorry Sonic 2...I love you, but I love A Link to the Past more, and I haven't even finished it yet!

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