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Nerds Without Pants Episode 117: Toilet Humor

We really went down the drain in our fifth year...

Welcome back to a traditional episode of Nerds Without Pants…FINALLY! We’re back at it this week, with all your favorite segments: Stage Select, Consumption Junction, and Chrono Crossing. We even have all three Pantsless Ones on this show, so let’s get into it, shall we?

00:00-07:12 Intro

07:27-53:06- STAGE SELECT: What video game characters are on your novelty toilet paper?

54:11-1:53:47- CONSUMPTION JUNCTION: Angelo visits Pandora (the planet, not the stripper), Terraforming Mars, We Didn’t Playtest This at All, Crimzon Clover, Mega Man 2, the correct order for taking on bosses, Final Fantasy XII

1:54:11-2:23:23- CHRONO CROSSING: 1992

2:23:39-2:26:13- Outro


STAGE SELECT: Angelo wants your top three sad and tragic music from video games. Make him cry!

CHRONO CROSSING: What is your favorite game of 1991?



South Park: Mr. Hankey

Final Fight- Abigail Theme

Abstract Hope- Bubble Man remix

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age- Sky City of Bhujerba

Streets of Rage 2- Slow Moon





Casey Curran Staff Writer

07/26/2017 at 04:41 PM

Stage Select

3. Leaving Earth (Mass Effect 3)- Hearing this play while watching the Reapers destroy everything created an amazing sense of tragedy and hopelessness. You really feel like this is the end and there's nothing you can do about it.

2. The Fragrence of Coffee (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations) - This one isn't sad unless you've beat the game and really is only sad when you last see Godot, but the tragedies that he and every other character endure really hit home as it plays while he explains. It's one of the reasons he's my favorite video game character.


1. Maybe (Fallout)- I know this was a real song before Fallout used it, but there's a few it's impossible to disassociate with the series now. The way it's used at the beginning really sets in just how tragic a nuclear war would be. Then hearing it play while the main character walks away from Vault 13 knowing he can never come back is really heartbreaking. 

Chrono Crossing

The only game I could possibly pick is Super Mario World. The first video game I ever played, I love everything about this game. Mario without Yoshi still feels wrong to this day


07/27/2017 at 06:06 PM

Stage Select: This one is kind of hard because I'm a very manly man who's full of manliness... I'm also a liar... I cry like a child.

3. Weight of the World from Nier Automata. This game is just so heavy. It has way too many sad moments, and it's recent so I'm not going to spoil any of it. Most of the saddest moments of the game don't have any music behind them at all, but when the music in this game kicks on it is heaven. This soundtrack is just so good, and if I could pick the entire thing as a choice I would. But I can't, so here's the end theme. It sums it up pretty well.

2. Father and Son from Metal Gear Solid 4. This is the song where Big Boss comes back after snake puts a gun to his own head. He then laments about the mistakes he made in his life, before saluting The Boss' grave. Then he collapses to the ground, tries to light his final cigar and is too weak to do so.

"Boss, you only need one Snake. No... Maybe the world would be better off without snakes."

>Old Snake lights Big Boss' Cigar and puts it in Big Boss' mouth<

"This is good... Isn't it?"

1. Final Fantasy VII's The Great Warrior. Let me just set the scene for this...

You just used an X potion to kill the boss of the dungeon you were in. As you proceed down the path, you observe a statue resembling your party member Red XIII. It is a statue of the warrior Seto, who Red XIII has regarded as a coward and a traitor to his tribe. Bugenhagen then reveals the truth. That his father Seto was in fact a hero, who rushed into the battle to keep the evil Gi tribe from invading Cosmo Canyon. The Gi tribe's arrows turned Seto into stone. This statue is Red XIII's father's grave. As Red XIII howls at the statue, tears fall from above. And Red XIII finally knows, he is the son of the great warrior Seto, not Seto the coward... Oh the salty emotional juices my 11 year old self shed on this day.

Chrono Crossing: As I view Chrono Crossing as the game that has left the fondest memories for me, I have to pick Street Fighter 2: The World Warrior. I was very small when I discovered the arcade cabinet in my local mall. I used to beg my dad for quarters to play it, and he would have to actually lift me up so that I could reach the buttons. I could beat the first guy, who was usually Ryu. But, the second one, I could never get past. It was a small Chinese girl by the name of Chun Li, who could bounce off walls, and would taunt me by laughing at my lack of motor skills after I lost. It's one of my earliest childhood memories. I now have a ridiculous Chun Li crush as an adult, probably because of all the times she kicked my ass... Maybe I should talk to a psychiatrist about this. Either way, I love you Chun. Call me?



07/29/2017 at 11:50 AM

Stage Select:

1. Aerith's theme that plays during a certain scene at the end of FFVII disc one.

2. Forever Rachel (FFVI): Though it refers to Locke's lost love, Rachel, the time I remember it best was on the deserted island scene when Celes finds the raft and Locke's bandanna after having attempted suicide.

3. The rendition of Saria's Song that plays in the Lost Woods in Twilight Princess has a sad air to it. I listen to that song on my iPhone over my car radio.


I thought from the title of this that the best use of toilets in video games was going to be discussed here, LOL.

Super Step Contributing Writer

08/02/2017 at 04:33 PM

I don't know that I've ever really cried for video game music, but I'll give you some that make me feel tingly?

3. Phendrana Drifts from Metroid Prime is a great song for alone time in the snow. I guess the loneliness of the ethereal-sounding track might get to me some day.

2. The opening theme from Metal Gear Solid 2 makes me cry (not really ... well, actually, it might have at some point, particularly the ending) cause it's beautiful and I miss it.

1. The menu music from Star Fox has always given me an eerie sense of loneliness. Looking at the space ship floating in space against a bunch of stars makes me question my significance in the universe. 

Also, it sounds perfect for a character's death scene were they ever to do a movie. Here's an orchestral version that ironically removes those emotions for me:

And here's the much more ethereal (imo) original:

Super Step Contributing Writer

08/02/2017 at 04:37 PM

1991 is Super Mario World. I have fond memories of TMNT at home and Lemmings (PC) when I had to stay home after school while my mom played free-of-charge IT help (she was the computer teacher), but come on. It's not even close. And this is coming from someone who would have chosen SF II: Turbo had it been released the same year.

Hell, for anyone that forgot to make their Chrono Crossing pick, just assume it's Super Mario World, I say.


08/03/2017 at 07:57 PM

Stage Select

3. This song was especially sad to me as a kid playing Majora's Mask for the first time. As the world ends the game plays this slow melancholy song. The fact that it's slow takes away any sense of urgency and instills an atmosphere of hopelessness. There's nothing left but to watch the moon come crashing down.

2. I initially made a list of three Silent Hill songs for this stage select, but it would be too easy to make this an all-Silent-Hill segment, so I wanted to limit myself to just one.

1. Have to bring back this one from the Best Village Themes stage select you did, as it fits in quite well here, too. Stalker Shadow of Chernobyl excells at being depressing.

Chrono Crossing 1991

Definitely Super Mario World. I replayed this a couple months ago and it's still a really fun platformer.

Previous stage select and chrono crossing that I missed

The character I would've put on my toilet paper would've been Jacob Taylor from Mass Effect 2. He's so boring, I just can't care.

My chrono crossing for 1992 would've been Wolfenstein 3D, hands down. One of my favorite shooters. I just replayed it recently on PC and it's still amazing. Mein Leben!

Exrian Contributing Writer

08/03/2017 at 10:33 PM

Sorry I couldn't chime in. I don't typically have my games loud so don't notice music as much. I know sone key favorites but can't recall many. 


To respond to your comment about day 1 listeners, I immediately jump into NWP. I hope to be working when it comes out since it means I'll definitely finish it. If not I may have to wait til the night when I'm gaming or if I'm doing yard work. 


If it isn't too late I'll throw in my Chrono crossing pick. 


Robocop vs. The Terminator for Genesis. 

My 2 favorite movies at the time  (i was like 7, lol) combined to make a videogame. Sold!

Julian Titus Senior Editor

08/09/2017 at 03:38 AM

Next episode is beefy, so hopefully it makes your work day fly!


08/09/2017 at 10:08 PM

I'm back listening to NWP. I'm one behind but I'll catch up next week. I'm always behind almost a week on podcasts. Since my iPod touch died, I have to burn CDs to take on the road. I almost forgot what CDs were. 

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