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Nerds Without Pants   

Nerds Without Pants Episode 156: Driving With the Top Down

We're Cruis'n USA!

Welcome back to Nerds Without Pants! It’s just Julian and Justin this week, and we THOUGHT it was a short episode. But then Julian realized that Justin picked a music topic for Stage Select, which tacked on 45 minutes of music into this bad boy. But hey, at least it’s GOOD music, right? Right?!

00:00-11:20 Intro and Great Game Giveaway winner announced

11:42-1:57:02 STAGE SELECT: What is your favorite video game road trip song?

1:57:50-2:35:55 CONSUMPTION JUNCTION: Judgment, Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night, Quantum Break, Justin Hamm Dinner Theater

2:36:31-2:53:44 VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Space Invaders (1979) vs Gradius (1985)

2:53:44-3:04:41 Outro and outtakes


STAGE SELECT: What are your top three bits of future tech found in video games?

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Shadow of the Colossus vs Okami

GREAT GAME GIVEAWAY: Send the secret code phrase from this episode for your chance to win a copy of Wolfenstein: Youngblood or Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night


Theme to Space Ghost: Coast to Coast

Theme to Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law

Theme to Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Theme to Sealab 2021




07/17/2019 at 10:44 PM

Stage Select:

1. The Sheikah Slate. It's basically the Switch in-game. It's Hyrule's equivalent of the iPad. Except that I can insta-travel with it instead of having to book a flight on ahd paying several hundred rupees. If only it were that easy to travel to Cancun in real life.

2. Mr. Handy/Gutsy. It cooks. It cleans. It takes care of the baby. It performs minor surgery - albeit not very well, judging by what happened to Beatrice when she was in Vault 101's sick bay for a sprained ankle. And it comes equipped with a buzz saw and a flamethrower. Can't beat that.

3. KOS-MOS. She's err, a good, useful companion, and well... weeeell, I should really be saddling up now.... oh, found the fire door....

Cage Match:

I'm going with Okami, and this one isn't even close in my book. Okami is one of my all time favorite games. Its cel-shaded graphics rank right up there with Wind Waker, Valkyria Chronicles, Ni no Kuni, and Dragon Quest VIII, and it's the best Zelda game that isn't a Zelda game. It's a great retelling of the Japanese creation myth with a lot of humor and a lot of combat against weird Japanese enemies. I have a confession: I really tried to get into the Team Ico games. I got the ICO/SotC collection on PS3 looking to see what the hype was about. To me, Shadow of the Colossus was Twilight Princess without, well, pretty much anything in Twilight Princess except the bosses. I know there's a loyal fanbase that swears by this game, but sorry, it never did anything for me. 

Super Step Contributing Writer

07/17/2019 at 11:44 PM

Please roll Justin's head around at the speed of sound for that Crush 40 comment. 

I hope his children grow up as joyless as he is as a man. 

There are certain fights you don't want to pick, buddy. 

Super Step Contributing Writer

07/18/2019 at 07:07 PM

STAGE SELECT: Samus's suit, F-Zero race tracks, and Cool Spot's sunglasses. 

CAGE MATCH: It's really close, but Okami has a LOT of unskippable text, so I'm going to give Shadow of Colossus the edge. 

To be fair, I've played the HD remaster of Okami and the remake of SotC on PS4, so I've never played either game in its original format, but I assume both games are pretty much the same experience gameplay-wise with fresh coats of paint. 


07/19/2019 at 10:43 AM

CAGE MATCH:  Shadow of the Colossus - the demo was amazing and I spent more time with it than Okami.

Exrian Contributing Writer

07/22/2019 at 04:13 PM

Great show guys. Sucks to hear Patrick will be less involved but I wish him all the best in his future endeavors. 


Stage Select: Future Tech

Portal Gun: This thing is insane. 

Omni Tool

Octo Camo suit




07/24/2019 at 03:42 AM

Speaking of Bloodstained: It. Is. So. Good! Hits all the right buttons. I wouldn't say it's the best post-SoTN Castlevania but it is really good. I will be a bit critical and say there is a lot of janky stuff to it but besides performance and some map and some graphical stuff it mainly only matters for harder difficulties or challenge runs. There really are some bad AI and attack animations that make me wonder what they were thinking at times. Not every late/post-game boss needs to be able to indistinguishably teleport objects into you, ArtPlay! But if you're just running through Normal mode or whatever it's great fun!

STAGE SELECT: I'm just going to pick three random pieces of tech because I think that'll be more interesting.

1) There's an optional scene you can get in Chrono Trigger where Lucca goes to break you out of prison if you don't escape yourself. She break through off-screen as you're in the guillotine, goes, "Get outta of my way!! Take 5, you mugs!", blasts the three guards, then goes, "So, what do you think of my Zonker-38? Pretty cool, huh? Let's blow this joint!" Young me was a tad obsessed with the idea you would unlock the Zonker-38 as real equipment, but alas, there's no such thing. And even then I was hopeful that maybe it was hidden or removed from the game. I'd look through cheat codes and rumor mills, it was a bit of my personal "Play as Luigi in Super Mario 64!" moment. I think the script help sell this idea, although in Japanese it's apparently just called the "Disposable Burst Blast Pistol" which... no, never mind, that's still pretty awesome.

2) I barely played Turok 2 as a kid, but there's an infamous weapon in it called the Cerebral Bore which, I think you know where I'm going with this, is just as brutal as it sounds. It's a weapon (apparently based on The Tall Man's weapon in 1979's film Phantasm) that... well, I think I'll just quote the Gamespot review from the time: "Perhaps the most awe-inspiring of the new tools is the cerebral bore. With this devious armament, you aim the targeting cursor onto the enemy, and the CB locks on to its brain waves and fires a drill that latches onto the victim's head and bores deep into its skull, causing waves and waves of gray matter to gush out of its head. This is possibly the grossest weapon ever conceived." Oh, they forgot to mention it then explodes, you know, just in case I guess? It's the very definition of overkill. And I'm not even into gore or violence, really!, but it's such an interesting relic of its time.  It's the Mortal Kombat to Street Fighter of FPS weapons.

3) The plot of Deus Ex involves you as JC Denton, a nano-augmented UNATCO anti-terrorist agent, uncovering a conspiracy that will forver change the course of human history. In doing so you'll undoubtlessly collect an abundant amount of glowing Augmentation Upgrade Canisters which, besides being a useful upgrade to your nano-augment abilities, also look like they're made from melted blue popscicles or something: . Just look at it! I mean, there's got to be a blurb in the UNATCO new agent training manual about not drinking the upgrade canisters, right? Right?

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Shadow of the Colossus. It's just this simple: I gotta bet on the horsies!

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