PixlBit

Stage select:

1. Amaterasu (Okami): when it comes to dogs, can't really beat a sun goddess, and her midget companion.

2. Repede (Tales of Vesperia): he's such a good boy (except to Estelle). He can even cook, except the only thing he can cook is dog food.

3. Hewie (Haunting Ground): one of the game's key mechanics is building trust with Hewie as he is necessary to protect your damsel in distress character from being gruesomely murdered or mutilated. In fact, the worst ending comes if you mistreat Hewie too much. 

Cage match:

Final Fantasy X for the win here. Persona 5 is good, but FFX is a classic. It's the first game I got for PS2. It was visually stunning in its day. It also had the laughing scene.  

Episode comment: I have played some of Mass Effect 2, but it's keyboard-only on my laptop, which makes it hard to play. It was gifted to me somewhat recently. I do like what I've played, but I might need to get it for another system. Remember, I had no PS3/360 or Wii and did not get a laptop capable of gaming until 2012. 

As far as the space sex joke, I'm aware that's not the whole game, I just remember a very drummed up Fox News controversy my dad bought into closer to the first game releasing. I know you weren't talking about me specifically with the "who we gonna f*" commentary, but just wanted to clarify I'm aware there's more to the games. lol

Also, I rented Andromeda, which was supposed to be my introduction to the series, so ... we all know how that went. 

STAGE SELECT:

Growlithe always looked cool (it's been so long since I've played Pokemon, I had to look the name up). 

I've never played Silent Hill 2, and I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but I watched a top 10 dogs in games YouTube video and I now love that Shiba Inu. Holy shit, that's great. 

Finally, Okami. I'm not feeling the need to explain that one.

CAGE MATCH:

Ooohhh, these are a couple JRPGs I've actually been interested in and wanted to like (and I may like persona 5, I just haven't played it yet). I still remember how blown away I was by Final Fantasy X cutscenes, so I'll go with that. Also, if I understand the storyline well enough, I think I like a lot of the themes in it. I never got too far, but I'm always up for fighting a cult (again, if I'm remembering those themes right). 

Okay, yeah, I can see if you started with Andromeda you might not be a fan. But hey, remastered collection coming next year!

Stage Select: I'm not really a dog person (yay for cats!) but I'm certainly not opposed to them. The last memorable one I remember in a game was in Pokémon Shield, actually. There's an early electric type called Yamper that looks like a chubby corgi, so I caught one and named him Porky Corgi. He was the only Pokémon I gave a nickname to and he stayed in my party the whole game. Even when he eventually evolved into a lean god of electric destruction late in the game, he was still my Porky Corgi.

Cage Match: Here are two great JRPGs I'd love to play but the merits of the games don't matter all that much for this match. My conscience wields the years of not playing Final Fantasy X like a deadly scythe, eviscerating my soul. There is no other choice for me.

Damn I'm having a harder time thinking about dogs than I thought I would. Here's my list. 

Stage Select:

 3. D-Dog (Metal Gear Solid 5): the dog has an eyepatch! That immediately makes him awesome. He's a great companion and is amazing on the field.

2. Amaterasu (Okami) the dog is the goddess of the Sun. She has multiple kick ass weapons, and looks badass with all those markings. Definitely the strongest dog in my list.

1. Sif (Dark Souls): so technically a wolf but that counts right? Sif is the size of whale and holds a legendary blade in its mouth as a weapon. This boss is a pain in the ass but ill forgive it for being so bad ass. 

Cage Match: while I'm absolutely loving Persona 5, I have to go with Final Fantasy X. As much as I'm loving the Persona cast, Lulu is one of my favorite characters in games. 

3. Isabelle (Animal Crossing)- Every time she updates you on your island is so charming

2. Sif the Great Grey Wolf (Dark Souls)- Hes guarding his masters grave until the day he dies with a sword in his mouth. If that's not a good boy I don't know what is.

1. Rockruff (Pokémon Sun/Moon)- My favorite dog Pokémon, this has sentimental value because it's a Rock type and was introduced soon after my dog Rocky passed away.  

Cage Match

Skull tries to use electric attacks but the FFX crew are adept at dodging them thanks to getting the platinum trophy. Skull then falls flat on his face and Tidus laughs uncontrollably. The rest of the FFX crew then notice that the rest of the Phantom Thieves left to steal the treasure from Seymour Guado's palace. Everyone wins!

STAGE SELECT:
I have to say, video games are pretty boring if the thing we judge dogs in games on is if you can pet a dog or not.  What base level garbage.  Does canned actor play canned animation?  YAY!  So I'm going to tell you about a good dog.  A very good dog.  And it won't be a Final Fantasy game because Rob Ottone doesn't like Final Fantasy or something?  I don't know, I was too busy playing *interesting* games to pay much attention to his segment, but I think that's canon.

Secret of Evermore is an Mana-like action-RPG for the Super Nintendo where you play as a boy... and his dog.  Transported from Podunk, USA to a futuristic spaceship, it's not long until our hero and his trusty terrier find themselves crash landing onto a world crafted out of an Archaelogy 101 textbook.  Dusting yourself off you find yourself in the buzzing jungles of Prehistoria, basically Jurassic Park in a swamp attached to a volcano, and you are immediately attacked by a jungle beast!  But that's no ordinary jungle beast, it's just your trusty terrier who seems to be a little... phasey from the transporter accident.  And just to prove it's your dog you throw him a stick... but he immediately returns with a femur.  Jesus Christ.  C...close enough?  Welp, at least now you have your very first weapon to bludgeon dinosaurs with!

And it's not just the first area, every area has your dog transmogrify into a brand new beast.  Antiqua, which is like all the ancient civilizations rolled into one: Egypt slash Mesopotamia slash Rome meets the ocean (with pirates!), trades your dog's bulkiness in exchange for speed and a god-like image (literally, your dog is revered as the Sacred Dog, complete with town statue and fawning peons).  Gothica, medieval fantasy land, has your dog transform into a terrifying, um, pink poodle, but at least you can crawl through vents and don a disguise in a way that would make Solid Snake jealous (it also has the biggest area where you and your pup split up which makes it feel pretty unique).  Finally, Omnitopia, the futuristic space station from the beginning of the game, has your dog transform into a bullet-barking 50s-esque toaster robot.  Just like something from one of our hero's favorite movies!  And most of the dogs *do* feel different in motion, from the hulking wolf-beast of the beginning to the futuristic (but energy-wasting) zooming of the cyberpup.  Good dog!

...Wait.  Hold on.  Oh.  Secret of Evermore had that Final Fantasy IV tie-in.  SHIT.

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH:
Computer!  Give me the odds on Final Fantasy X vs Persona 5!

(high-pitched voice)
Why, certainly Master Booky!  Persona 5 trounces Final Fantasy X at an almost 2 to 1 ratio!  And, my, you're certainly looking handsome today!
(/high pitched voice)

Why, thank you computer!  Everything is right and good in the world!

...

Okay, I'll be honest with you guys: that wasn't really my computer.  I know, unbelievable.  In fact, I missed last week's episode because my third computer, count them, the *third* one, just died on me.  I mean, this was the first one that is actually *dead* dead, but I feel more cursed than Julian and his Switch at this point!  So I'm going to add failure to failure: give my vote to the losing side.  It's just appropriate.