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Nerds Without Pants   

Nerds Without Pants Episode 207: This Episode Needs No Introduction

Or: Justin vs google.

Welcome back to Nerds Without Pants! This week we go over what ended up being a really tricky Stage Select, spoil the hell out of Twelve Minutes (check the timestamps in the notes), and have a battle of Odysseys in a steel cage match. Enjoy!

00:00-07:20 Introduction

07:32-1:49:42 STAGE SELECT: What are some of your favorite character introductions?

1:49:53-3:08:12 CONSUMPTION JUNCTION: Twelve Minutes (full spoilers, skip to 2:09:34 if you really don’t want us to save you from playing a terrible game), Justin is still on his Sims bullshit, Guilty Gear Strive, Saints Row (2022), Halo, Gears of War 4, Julian’s back on his FF XIV bullshit

3:08:50-3:26:06 VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Super Mario Odyssey vs Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey

3:26:15-3:34:15 Outro


STAGE SELECT: Ask us anything! You have three questions; make ‘em good!

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Tetris vs The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim


Twitter: @NWPcast


Our theme song “Relax” and interstitial tracks “To the Maxx” and “Moody Grooves” are written and performed by Megan McDuffee.






09/08/2021 at 02:25 PM

I'm a fan of the Dragonriders of Pern series, which you mentioned during the podcast. There were at least two games made based on that series. The first one was released for computers in the early 80s by Epyx, and was a mixture of RPG, strategy, and shooter (during the Thread sequences.) The second one I know of was the one released by Ubisoft for the Dreamcast. I wish they could get a developer that is actually good to work on the series.

On the Sephiroth intro, here's the thing: in the few battle scenes that take place, you actually can't control him, you can only control Cloud, who is pretty much along for the ride. Sephiroth is AI controlled. The dragon usually KOs Cloud, and Sephiroth may or may not cast Life 2 to revive you. Even when he's on your side, he's too powerful for you to control. It's like the opening of Dragon Quest 5, where your five-year-old hero is under his father's watchful eye. Only Cloud is a grown-ass man (he's 16, which is too young to enlist in the US Armed Forces) and he's supposedly a member of an elite special forces unit.

Did Assass Creed lose even worse to Mario Odyssey than Quest 64 did to FF7?

Julian Titus Senior Editor

09/09/2021 at 03:23 PM

I totally forgot about that Dreamcast game. I don't remember playing it, but I was still in retail so I'm sure I at least tried it. Clearly didn't leave an impression either way.

And no, Assassin's Creed got two votes. Quest only got a single one when it took on FF VII.


09/11/2021 at 06:02 AM

So AC is Von Kaiser to Quest 64's Glass Joe?

And yeah, the Dreamcast Dragonriders game was definitely no Skies or Arcadia or even an Evolution: The World of Sacred Device.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

09/11/2021 at 11:41 AM

Stage Select

1. If you were a Mass Effect alien race, which one do you think you'd fit into the best and worst?

2. If you were to make a Muppet version of an R rated movie which would it be and which human actors would stay? 

3. What is your beer of choice?

Cage Match:

Tetris blocks start pouring down on Skyrim. It takes a very long time for them to do damage because of the enorm size of the region but towns and villages eventually start getting hit. Then the blocks stop and people look up in the sky and see that they're trapped by the glitches. The player then starts a new game and uninstalls the Tetris mod. Skyrim wins.


09/12/2021 at 10:04 PM

Stage Select:

1.  Do you own rare games? If so, which ones? I have an EU copy of Panzer Dragoon Saga and a US copy of Shining Force III. I also have the PS version of Valkyrie Profile. I sure wish I knew what happened to my copy of Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance. 

2. What are your favorite collectors' editions? I'll always have a soft spot for the PS1 releases of Lunar and Lunar 2. I still have them.

3. Where's the beef?

Cage Match:

Honestly, this looks like one of those apocalyptic "cats and dogs living together" situations I keep hearing about. Skyrim was winning. Then it took an I-block in the knee. So I'm going to give this to Tetris. Because why not.


09/17/2021 at 12:56 PM

1.) Any gaming plans for Halloween? Any non-gaming plans? I always do a thing every year and I have already fully completed Castlevania: Lords of Shadow, one of the few Castlevania games I've never played.

2.) Did you ever have any weird traditions or rituals that you'd do in a video game? Maybe you had to beat a game using a certain character or beat a level in a certain way. I have a couple I can think of, my family would often select 2-Player and kill off the first player so we could play as the rarer palette. Luigi is a good example of this of course, but Donkey Kong Country also had a weird team versus mode where the second team wore a yellow tie and hat instead of red ones. The little pips on the map would change to yellow after beating a stage too if I'm remembering correctly.

Here's a couple from Mario 1 I remember doing a lot for no reason: when you climb a beanstalk you can rejump on it and do a kinda little "Mario dance" at the top, or there's that famous sliding glitch where the running animation messes up for a few seconds if you press the jump and fire button when you come out of a pipe at just the right time. Dumb stuff like that you take time out to do.

3.) A yellow chocobo is leaving Crescent going 96 kilometers per hour going in a northwesterly direction. Meanwhile, a black chocobo is leaving Lix going 64 kilometers per hour going in a southeasterly direction. If there are 828 kilometers between them, and 2/3rds of the way in the yellow chocobo hits sand and goes 1/3rd of the speed of the black chocobo, what do you think is your most impressive gaming accomplishment?

I don't know what mine is but there were a couple I had to basically learn speedrunner tricks. The one I mentioned here awhile back was going straight directly to the end of the game in Breath of the Wild on Master Mode and beating it. I'm not really very good at video games but it's amazing sometimes what you can accomplish with stubbornness.

Imagine, it's the year 2011. You own a PC and unbeknownst to you a game is going to come out that will ruin your life. Your existence becomes a fantasy action RPG nightmare. You have dreams of glory wearing a full set of Daedric armor. You swear you understand the complexities of CHIM and nobody will look you in the eyes anymore. Alone, you've pickpocketed a whole dinner party's worth of possessions using nothing but time and a bucket to the astonishment of no one but a passing Khajiit. After roleplaying characters of dubious quality and source, and years of your life gone to a gray whistling Dell computer or whatever, you finally put the game away for good. Your reward? A Skyrim release again, and again, and again, and again. But it's still not as many rereleases as Tetris. Tetris wins.

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