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Stage Select

3. Crash Bandicoot- As we all know I love this character and would love to see him get into Looney Toons esque shenanigans each week. He's got enough friends and villains that a few seasons bare minimum can work with some fun slapstick.

2. Sly Cooper- My pick for a more serialized show, Sly 2-4 had a formula that would translate well where Sly and his gang would complete a series a missions before setting up a heist to rob a villain. I think doing each heist in 3-4 episode arcs would make for a really fun show.

1. Mass Effect- First off, I know this is M rated but an R rating never stopped Robocop and The Toxic Avenger from getting Saturday morning cartoons. Second, Mass Effect 2 has a pitch for a kids show/cartoon in the Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC. The Shadow Broker has dossiers on all of your party members and Mordin's reveals that in addition to his STG work, he's the Salarian equivalent of Bill Nye with his own show where he teaches science to children. I would watch the hell out of The Very Model of a Scientist Salarian conduct crazy experiments and sing Gilbert and Sullivan to teach science.

Cage Match

Primal Rage comes out sweating, barely able to breathe with a giant beer belly. The crowd is immediately disappointed and worried for how it will fair against anyone, even Bloody Roar. But everyone is left waiting until reminded that Bloody Roar is owned by Konami who won't let it out to play. Primal Rage wins

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It's funny, I wrote something about Saturday Supercade, one of the first video game-related TV shows I can remember, a short while back. It had shorts based on Donkey Kong, Frogger, Q*bert, Pitfall, Kangaroo, and Space Ace. Mario looked a lot different on this show than he did later on in Nintendo's official artwork. Saban localized a few episodes of an anime based on Dragon Quest III in the early 90s that aired at 6 on Sunday mornings where I lived. That's why, when I first saw Dragon Ball Z a few years later, I was surprised at how much it looked like Dragon Warrior. Usually it's people wondering why Dragon Quest looks so much like DBZ. 

The Legend of Zelda. I'll make a confession: I was a pretty regular viewer of the Super Mario Bros Super Show, and as a rabid Zelda fan, I tuned into the Zelda cartoon that aired on Fridays. Well, excuuuuuse me, Princess! But given what they've done with franchises like Castlevania on Netflix, I think it's time to see if a good anime studio could do justice to a TV adaptation of The Legend of Zelda, especially now that the series is much more developed than it was in 1989. 

Fallout would be interesting as a Saturday morning cartoon show. It even has a character that just looks made for a Saturday morning cartoon, Vault Boy. The Fallout series already calls back to the radio serials that eventually gave rise to Saturday morning cartoons. You could have Vault Boy and Dogmeat having comedic adventures with Super Mutants, the Brotherhood, the Enclave, and the ghouls.

Some kind of Final Fantasy multiverse cartoon would be a neat idea. You could have a trio of Final Fantasy heroes, say, Cloud, Squall, and Terra, facing off against a rotating slate of bad guys of the week, ranging from big villains like Sephiroth or Kefka to minor villains like Ultros, Gilgamesh, or the Turks, in the style of the 1989 TMNT series or even Batman: The Animated Series. Mark Hamill would be perfect as Kefka.

Cage Match:

The Primal Rage dinos would just make short work of the Bloody Roar fighters like that poor frightened cow being lowered into the T-Rex cage in Jurassic Park. Besides, nostalgia holds stronger for Primal Rage. It came out at the height of the motion-capture M-rated fighting game craze inspired by Mortal Kombat and the dinosaur craze inspired by JP. Bloody roar came out in the time of Virtua Fighter, Tekken, and Final Fantasy VII. 

But maybe we can throw Bloody Roar a bone. The raptor fighters in PR have the Bloody Roar fighters cornered... and then one of the T-Rex PR fighters reaches down and bites into one of the raptor fighters and the other raptors attack it in a frenzy, allowing Bloody Roar to escape. We'll call it a draw.

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I think Sparkster would make a great Saturday morning cartoon. (Side note: How sad is it that the concept of Saturday morning cartoons is so antiquated! The concept is obsolete! My kids have no reverence for Saturday mornings because it's just another day now. They can stream all their favorite shows any time they want these days. I feel old.) Sparkster, the rocket-powered possum knight, debuted as one of many anthropomorphic animal mascots in the early '90s but managed to avoid having a sickening '90s 'tude. Sparkster wasn't mad at or fed up with the world. He just wanted to right the wrongs inflicted on his kingdom by those dastardly pigs! Also, as I said, he's a knight in shining armor with a freaking jetpack on his back. Need I go on?

I think Star Fox is ripe with all kinds of potential. I imagine Star Fox as a cartoon that takes itself much too seriously but still has great moments of comic relief (let's be honest, no one is taking Slippy seriously), like an '80s anime, which is what we would have gotten in '90s America if we were lucky to get any anime at all. It wouldn't be for little kids but also wouldn't have extra baggage to needlessly bump the age of the audience up. You can't keep the furries out but let's not make it easy for them either.

I never got very far in Boktai—who wants to go outside?—but I've always been very intrigued by the game's world, a sort of magical steampunk apocalypse. That phrase alone is rife with anime nonsense and I am here for it.

Cage Match

I haven't played either of these game series since the GameCube days, so let me do a little research. *google google google* Ah yes. Primal Rage lets you play as big fierce creatures, which is cool, but Bloody Roar lets you play as hot girls that turn into big fierce creatures. Gotta go with Bloody Roar.