PixlBit

You're probably better off saving up for a real Lamborghini.

With a nonsensical name like that, I wasn't expecting anything much out of this one. Once discovering that it was published by Titus, the same nefarious company infamous for releasing contenders for "best worst game ever" such as Superman 64 and Carmageddon, I dropped the cartridge in shock and horror. However, I'm on a mission. Mustering up as much determination as I could, I picked it up and popped it into the Nintendo 64's cartridge slot, with sour memories of Carmageddon now flooding back.

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Real combat, plastic men.

Have I used that line yet?

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The little plastic toys take to the skies... er, more like ten inches off the ground.

This is one I got for I think $3 when GameStop was liquidating their stock of older games. It's a helicopter shooting game with a top-down perspective involving toy soldiers, and it takes place in real-world environments that are larger than life for the little guys. You take control of a helicopter from the Green Army and are at war with the supposedly evil Tan and Blue forces; there doesn't seem to be much of an explanation as to why these toys can't just get along, which almost makes it seem like the game has some sort of subtle social commentary. Almost. Let's not go there.

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No, not the cookie, those are called 'Macaroons.'

Armorines is a first-person shooter that runs on a modified game engine that was originally used for Turok: Dinosaur Hunter. It isn't as polished or interesting as the game from which it borrows its engine, but it is more focused on action than exploration. I didn't really catch the details of the story as I couldn't be bothered, but it has to do with a lone soldier taking on an army of alien bugs because everyone else is either too incompetent or too lazy to take action. Whichever one sounds more realistic.

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Ubisoft serves up a double fault.

Hooray for dirt cheap sports games I found in the depths of a bargain bin! I've not played this before now, as I'm not big on Tennis and so Mario Tennis is plenty for me.

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