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Nerds Without Pants   

Nerds Without Pants Episode 153: Squinting Through Rose-Colored Glasses

Seriously, Justin needs that eye procedure...

Welcome to another stellar edition of Nerds Without Pants! Gonna be some abridged show notes this week, as typing this is literally causing Julian physical pain, so let’s hop right in!

In Stage Select we talk about what era of gaming is our favorite. Not many listeners chimed in, but we get some great stories and tangents from them. Consumption Junction is a whole lotta Nier and Rage 2, and Video Game Cage Match pits Asura’s Wrath against Until Dawn in a battle of the cinematic adventure games!



VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Goldeneye: 007 vs Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1

GREAT GAME GIVEAWAY: We announce the winner of this month’s contest and kick off the next one!



Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories - Rose Colored Times

Fighting Vipers – Theme of Bahn

The Shield- Special Op

Mad Max Fury Road- Spikey Cars

Apocalypta- PATH



Super Step Contributing Writer

06/05/2019 at 09:58 PM

STAGE SELECT: What's the most personal story you feel comfortable sharing on the show? If you'd rather not share that, what video game character turns you OFF the most? Just makes you never want to have sex ever again, because if there's even a small chance of your children creating a similar character in the future, you'd rather not risk it?


Bonus points if you have a personal story that reminds you of a video game character so bad they made you never want to have sex again. 


Cage Match: Tony Hawk's all the way. I wasn't even that big a fan of Goldeneye at the time, and everything it did has been changed or dramatically improved upon not long after it came out. It's an outdated time capsule. 


THPS is also an outdated time capsule, but in the best way: you couldn't release a blockbuster hit with that soundtrack today, but that soundtrack is awesome. The gameplay in THPS is solid and was added to and iterated on in later entries, but the core mechanics still work well/are intuituve/are not clunky, much unlike Goldeneye 007. 


By the way, I no longer study or work/teach there, but Tony Hawk came to Stephen F. Austin only a couple months ago to give a business speech and I got to see him in person. 


Beyond all that, there's still something I find inherently cool about skateboarding. Really wish I could have gone beyond doing an ollie and keeping the board straight when I was little and had that Star Wars Episode I Anakin board. 


Now if Street Sk8er had been involved, my nostalgia goggles and the song "All My Friends Are Metalheads" by Less Than Jake may have won out, but no. THPS is the winner today! 

Jamie Alston Staff Writer

06/07/2019 at 11:28 AM

Stage Select: This is more of Julian question, but Patrick and Justin, please feel free to chime in with your thoughts if this applies to you. When did you become aware of RPGs and what was the RPG that solidified your like (or dislike) of it?

Cage Match: I'm with Super Step on this one. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater for the win. Although my experience is more with the sequel and beyond, I do remember playing both Pro Skater 1 and Goldeneye around the same same time. I had a much better time with THPS because it just felt so fulfilling to pull off skateboard tricks that I knew I'd never be able to do in real life without breaking evey bone in my body.

I never saw the allure of Goldeneye 007 on the Nintendo sixty-snore (just kidding, I love you Mario 64 and Zelda). Even playing with 3 other friends, I just didn't get it. I think it was because I always struggled with the odd controller when playing FPS games on the N64. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater on the PlayStation was just a better time all around.

Exrian Contributing Writer

06/07/2019 at 08:34 PM

Sorry I missed out on last episode. Shits been crazy and before I knew it, the date had passed. No doubt Asuras Wrath would win. Asura could probably take on anyone in videogame history. My personal favorite gen may be the last one if I'm not being nostalgic. Souls series, Mass Effect series, Binary Domain, Earth Defense Force, and so many other games that I love. 

I loved the last AMA Stage Select. Here goes:


Stage Select: AMA

1. What is one movie or videogame that you regret watching/playing because it just totally screwed with your head. Something that made you say, "Well I'm not getting those hours of my life back." (Note: Mine would be Sausage Party and Escape From Tomorrowland)

2. What was a movie or game trailer was better than the actual version for you? (NOTE: Mine is Iron Man 3. That whole trailer sets up something so much better than the movie.) 

3. To counter Superstep, what's the videogame character that turns you on the most? For Justin let's ban Chun-Li because that's a given.

4. You get 24 hours to live as any animal or insect. What is it?

5. You can get 1 feature or ability of any movie ANTAGONIST. What is it? (Example: Xenomorph Acid Blood, Terminator Exoskeleton, Predator Camouflage, Chuckies plastic penis...)

6. What's your Anime guilty pleasure? If you dont watch anime than anything you watch that's a guilty pleasure. (NOTE: Mine is I am really into romance anime and that has trickled into actual Asian romance shows on Netflix)

7. Do you have an anime waifu or TV crush if not? (NOTE: Mine is Shoko Nishimiya from A Silent Voice) 

8. Is the grass greener on the other side or do three rights make a left?

Maybe more to come...


Cage Match: I love both of these but I have to go Goldeneye. This was the game that introduced me to the FPS genre. It made me the PROUD inverted player that I am today. 


06/10/2019 at 01:15 AM

Stage Select:

What was the first video game you can remember playing?

Cage Match:

Definitely Goldeneye, even though I wasn't part of the college dorm four player spilt-screen scene for that game.  It was still one of the better designed console FPS's. I have never especially liked sports games, so other than a couple of tries of a demo at Electronics Boutique, Tony Hawk was never on my radar.


06/10/2019 at 09:28 AM

CAGE MATCH:  I am going with Goldeneye.  It was later THPS games that thing finally clicked...  plus I need manuals.  The other thing is when I played multiplayer with my buddy, I never stood a chance when we played THPS so my memories are definitely fonder with Goldeneye.


06/10/2019 at 04:10 PM

I actually commented on the last episode and then realized after posting that I was two days late. Story of my life! It's a shame, too, because I voted for Until Dawn. Oh well, my fault.

Stage Select: I was looking at that picture up there and is Justin really that bald, bearded, and bespectacled? What GBA game do you really need to play right now, and why is it Astro Boy: Omega Factor? Would you rather have a hilarious game night with Tina Fey or Amy Poehler? Can Booky give us odds on whether or not he is Justin?

Cage Match: I never got into a Tony Hawk game (though I suppose the SSX series would be a tangential relation and those were great), so I gotta give it to Goldeneye. I never beat the campaign but was a master at that opening dam level and finish that on any difficulty. I loved using proximity mines in multiplayer and turning the levels into death traps. Also, for the overly serious take on the cage match, Tony Hawk would be grinding on the bars of the cage and then Bond would just shoot him.

Future Bookings:

-Gradius 3 vs Space Invaders

-Contra 3 vs Halo 3

-Sonic vs F-Zero


06/12/2019 at 02:45 AM

Wow, that was a good episode! Didn't expect the Stage Select to go that deep at all for that type of question. Funny enough, since I last mentioned how easy it is in the modern era to find weird retro communities I ran across a yearly event where everyone can play a Final Fantasy V challenge run. Seems pretty neat!

STAGE SELECT: If you could have one media property (for example, a book, a movie, etc.) or concept (for example, a monster, a vocation, a hobby, etc.) that hasn't been made into a game before or has been done exceptionally (and I mean exceptionally) poorly before be made into a video game, what would it be, what type of genre would it be, and who would you choose to develop it?


Whew, don't know if E3 threw anybody else out of the loop, but it's a busy time for a bookie like me. I collected quite a few golden Jiggies myself, if you know what I mean. But anyway, it's odd-making time!

Ooh, gotta say, whoever set this match-up made a critical mistake. I'd say setting up Perfect Dark would make more even odds because even though it's probably a much more satisfying game than Goldeneye *mechanically* it doesn't have nearly the nostalgia fervor for it. I can spout nonsense here, saying "Oddjob is cheating" and "Proximity Mines only" or "Laser Watch" and wouldn't you know it but you've got a bunch of Nerds percolating like double-strength mug mud. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1, as compared to its later revisions, doesn't have manuals (a huge improvement which opened up lines and combos) and doesn't really even have useful lips or grinds... and instead in return it has those weird one-way Jam levels they all but got rid of. Also, School is no School II, it just isn't. I'll still bat for my Birdhouse buddy here and say Tony Hawk, but odds fixing or odds-fixing there's no fixing this match-up.

Super Step Contributing Writer

06/21/2019 at 08:41 PM

Dear Booky, 

I want you to know my new theory is you're Nick. 


06/13/2019 at 10:32 PM

I also had another idea for Cage Match. Why don't we debate the consoles themselves? The games, the graphics, the sound, controllers, and what have you. NES vs. Master System. SNES vs. Genesis vs. TG-16.  N64 vs. PS1 vs. Saturn. 3DO vs. Jaguar vs CD-i (snicker). 2600 vs Intellivision vs Colecovision vs Odyssey2 vs Astrocade. I've been playing a lot of 4th, 5th, and 6th gen re-releases lately that came from multiple systems and it really got me thinking. We could have some good discussions, and I'm sure we're all mature enough here to not degenerate into "KONSOL WARZ" mode.  I think this discussion would be especially fun concerning 4G (16-bit) and 5G (32/64-bit) consoles, now that all three of the big 16-bit consoles are going to have miniature versions. Don't forget the handhelds. That one might not be as one-sided as you'd think.

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