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Nerds Without Pants   

Nerds Without Pants Episode 183: These Challenging Times

We love hearing from you.

Welcome back to a very different episode of Nerds Without Pants! Why different? Because this time we’re turning the camera onto our lovely listeners to learn how they have been coping during the Backstreet Boys Reunion Tour. We also get a lot of game talk in before having a Star Wars mirror match in the cage.

00:00-3:22 Introduction

3:35-1:43:27 STAGE SELECT: What games are you playing in these Challenging Times?

1:43:33-2:49:31 CONSUMPTION JUNCTION: Thronebreaker, UFC 4, Crosscode, Resident Evil 3 Remake, Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection, Xeno Crisis, Kentucky Route Zero

2:50:08-3:07:43 VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Star Wars Battlefront 2 (2005) vs Star Wars Battlefront 2 (2017)

3:07:43-3:15:22 Outro and outtakes


STAGE SELECT: Give us your coolest and wackiest dream mods for your favorite games!



Our theme song “Relax” and interstitial tracks “To the Maxx” and “Moody Grooves” are written and performed by Megan McDuffee.




08/27/2020 at 07:44 AM

I buy a lot of collectible Japanese RPGs where I can Sometimes I miss one. I wish I'd picked up the Definitive Works version of Xenoblade Chronicles, though it's apparently still available at Target by mail-order and at least one store in San Diego for now, but I was lucky enough to find the Fire Emblem Seasons of Warfare edition. I still have my Lunar and Lunar 2 boxes. As far as my arcade machine, I buy everything that was released legitimately, like Donkey Kong and Kangaroo. I was really excited when Donkey Kong came out on the Switch, as it is my all-time favorite arcade game. A lot of games will never be re-released. The founder of Exidy, an early 80s American arcade game maker of such games as Mouse Trap, Venture, and Targ, actually gave his blessing to people who wanted to run his company's games in emulation as long as they don't try to use them commercially. The machine I made was a kit that came from Adafruit Industries, a small company in New York. 

Stage Select:

For Tifa in Final Fantasy VII Remake, a nu... (checks notes), oh, wait, I lost that. I'd like to build new maps for a Zelda game, either Breath of the Wild or A Link to the Past. And I'd like to be able to design my own overworld as well as dungeons, since I've always considered the overworld to be just as important in a Zelda game as the dungeons.

Cage Match:

Let me preface this by saying that Dig-Dug is deservedly known as a classic. However, Mr. Do!, which was released just a few months later, improves on it in almost every way, from the graphics, animation, and sound. The gameplay is especially a big step up. It's faster-paced, you get a bouncing energy ball instead of a bicycle pump, there are multiple ways to win each stage, and if you know what you're doing you can rack up really big scores. The game really rewards you for getting good. Mr. Do! got screwed by the network. Its sequels weren't as good, and Mr. Do! itself came out not on the NES, but the SNES, at whcih time it was 14 years old and people weren't really into single-screen arcade classics. I hope it makes a comeback on the Switch as an Arcade Archives title. It's one of the games I installed on my homemade arcade machine.

And you can send my thousand dollar payment through either PayPal, Zelle, or my OnlyFans page. Julian, I am open to any counter-offers. Money Mouth


08/30/2020 at 04:22 PM

Stage Select: (this goes on for multiple paragraphs)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Welcome to the latest Daftman Direct, where we'll be bringing you all the latest awesome mods for your favorite games! First up we have something for a true classic, something that definitely should have shipped with that game.  My dear friends, I give you The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time—Milk Mod Economy! Hang up the sword and shield of the hero and take up the stool and bucket of the dairy farmer! Link finds himself in charge of Lon Lon Ranch and so saving the world will have to wait. Take part in the awesome milking mini game, churn butter, craft cheese and other dairy delights, and then take your wares to market to sell. Enjoy realism like never before seen in this series with new activities ripped straight from today's headlines, like abusing power and position for your own personal gain and lying in people's faces to further your own agenda! Is the land of Hyrule going to hell without the legendary hero to save them? At least they can get ice cream now...if they've got the rupees to pay, that is!

But why should Link get all the fun? Introducing Super Mario Odyssey: Milk Mod Superstar! "But wait, daftman!" I can hear you listeners now. "Are there any cows to milk in Odyssey?" Who needs cows when you have goombas?? That's right! Thanks to the power of modding, our squat little frenemies are now walking milk jugs ripe for exploitation! What's more, you can now breed goombas, boosting vague stats and chasing the elusive albino goomba, which gives the sweetest of all cremes. Worried about Bowser? Sell to his minions and topple his empire with the power of motherflipping capitalism. Peach won't turn you down when your own fortune dwarves hers.

Rather stick with actual animals? Introducing Animal Crossing: New Horizons—Milk Mod Revenge! Upgrade your house, collect stuff, and milk your neighbors! Cows and goats, sure, but it's open dairy season on everyone else. Koalas, rhinos, penguins, you name it. But why stop there? Expand your business and put the squeeze on Tom Nook. Milk that racoon dry!

More into human milk-makers? Then this next one is for you! Introducing Mario Tennis Aces: Harem Anime Adventures! Pick either of the Mario bros and go after Peach, Daisy, Pauline, or Rosalina...or all of them at once! Play tennis but also enjoy awkward social situations and unskippable bathhouse sequences. Find true love...or just get lucky! But beware of Bowsette. She's always willing but never comes free. Fulfill certain conditions to unlock hard mode and try to woo the ladies as Wario. Good luck!

If that last one didn't satisfy your lust for awkward social encounters, then let me introduce Luigi's Mansion 3: Waluigi's Love Mansion! Invite the Mushroom Kingdom's eligible ladies to your love mansion, put them in dangerous situations, and save them to win their hearts. Be sure to keep your charm level up to avoid any nasty face slaps, but who could say no to the Mushroom Kingdom's most available bachelor? Voyeur mode coming soon!

That's all I have for you today. Keep it awkward, folks! Daftman, signing off.

Cage Match:

Despite being fairly old myself, I am not sure who Mr. Do! is, and so I'm voting for Dig Dug.

Matt Snee Staff Writer

09/07/2020 at 05:09 PM

This is genius. 


09/04/2020 at 09:25 AM

I gotta make a real post sometime here (next week?) but let's go ahead and get at it!

I can think of three mods that I'd like to exist.

Number 1: I've mentioned I like Deus Ex before, and I've also mentioned that I like remakes the most when they fix or at least improve a broken game.  So I'd like to see a mod that fixes up the maligned Deus Ex: Invisible War.  It's not the best game of course but there's a lot there, some interesting story beats, a weird if ugly in that mid-2000s way aesthetic, and the occasional decent level.  But, man, is that game broken.  There's a rumor that the engine designer left midway in the project and they had to hack the game together to ship, which is one of the reason it has such tiny levels and map loading that pretty much unloads and reloads everything (which is apparently why the PC version minimizes the application between levels).  Of course, it could also use a heavy coat of paint for the graphics and better voice work, and of course the stealth system is a mess.  In fact, if there's ever another Deus Ex I know people are clamoring for the original to be remade but why mess with perfection (and that already has a lot of good mods).

Number 2: Speaking of stealth, I've always wanted a good procedurally generated stealth game.  Dishonored with a good, slow, randomized balance sounds wonderful to me.  I don't think for me it even needs to be like generated maps or anything, a mixed room "block" system a la Spelunky with some dynamicness to it (maybe power-ups in areas or bonuses you get if you complete objectives would be neat, and a little bit of randomized enemy placement to keep things fresh) would be a lot of fun.  I know Deus Ex: Mankind Divided had an arcadey mode that was a tiny bit like that, but apparently it suffered not least of all because of all the IAP they tired to attach to it.

Number 3: Give Mario a fucking gun.  So long, King Bowser!

I'm not just rusty on the odds, this damn machine must be broken.  3:2 odds in favor of Mr. Do?  I mean, I can guess what a "Dig Dug" is but I have no idea if I want to know what a Mister Do-s.  Mr Does?  I have no idea.

Give my vote to Dig Dug.  Here's how I see it: Dig Dug gets into some late trouble, just too many pitfalls.  While Mr. Do is doing it up the ring, just a big empty showboat type, all distracted and playing to the crowd, BAM!  Mr. Driller to the back of the head.  In the Arcade leagues there's little chance of taking down the Dig Dug/Mr. Driller father/son dynasty.  And don't even get me started on Baraduke!  What a family.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

09/04/2020 at 02:23 PM

Stage Select:

Mass Effect mod for male Shepard to be voiced by H Jon Benjamin. Let's assume I have the talent to reanimate Shepard to lip sync perfectly and access to H Jon Benjamin for this. Your role playing options would be between Sterling Archer and Bob Belcher. Imagine the one liners:

"Joker, stop treating EDI like she's people"

"Well obviously I'm going to shoot the Blue Suns member!"


"Well I'm glad you Krogan are excited because I'm going to kill myself"

Cage Match

I've played Dig Dug but haven't heard of Mr Do! The impression I get is Mr Do can get things done unnoticed. So I see Mr Do! winning.

Exrian Contributing Writer

09/04/2020 at 03:12 PM

I finally got myself a gaming PC so I can actually think more about this stuff. 

Stage Select:

Dante in Dark Souls: I want to mod Devil May Crys Dante into the Souls games. Make all those damn bastards pay for ever even looking my way. Having Dante wreck their shit in mere seconds would be so satisfying. 

Mass Effect into The Sims: Now that the galaxy is safe, the Citadel decides they will pull a Cerberus and resurrect Shepard. Now i get to live out my quiet life with Tali and have all the babies. Shepard gets to work or be locked in the bathroom or whatever it is Sims do. I actually don't know since I've never played The Sims but this would intrigue me to try it.

Nintendo Kart: Let's get some other properties into Mario Kart. They have played with the idea by adding Link, Isabelle, and others but how about Samus, Fox, Kirby or Mr. Peanut? I'm pretty sure Donkey Kong had peanuts or something. 

Quick Saves!: Finally, mod damn quick saves into every game. Why aren't quick saves in every damn thing? I don't always have time to hit your checkpoint and I don't 100% trust my console to stay on in rest mode.


Cage Match: Dig Dug has alliteration on its side but its also just the same damn word with present and past tenses. Mr. Do has that air of professionalism to me but also reminds me of Scooby Doo. I was never a fan of Scooby-Doo. But that reminds me of a quote from the great Homer Simpson, "Scooby-Doo can doo doo but Jimmy Carter is smarter." If he's as smart as advertised than Jimmy Carter can probably take them both out. But I think I'm getting off track. Dig Dug has practically dug his own grave so Mr. Do for the win I guess. 

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