Forgot password?  |  Register  |    
User Name:     Password:    
Nerds Without Pants   

Nerds Without Pants Episode 159: Nemesis

The enemy of my enemy is probably also my enemy because I have trust issues.

Welcome to a combative episode of Nerds Without Pants! This time, we are joined by Gabe, the host of the Arcade Memories podcast, and co-host of the Inter Party Conflict podcast. We get all warm and fuzzy about memories of our greatest video game foes…and then we annihilate them! Also, Clayfighter 63 1/3 takes on Killer Instinct Gold in the steel cage, so, you know, that should be an interesting match…

00:00-1:53 Intro

2:14-1:25:29 STAGE SELECT: Who are your greatest video game nemeses?

 1:26:17-2:22:59 CONSUMPTION JUNCTION: The Arcade Memories Podcast, arcade nostalgia, 1up Arcade machines, Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3, P.T. remake, Inter Party Conflict, Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Slay the Spire, Julian’s Switch woes (revisited)

2:23:35-2:45:25 VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Clayfighter 63 1/3 vs Killer Instinct Gold


STAGE SELECT: What game franchise would you turn into a dating sim, and how?

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Quest 64 vs Final Fantasy VII (Yes, really!)


Send Gabe some arcade memories, or let him know what you thought of the show by emailing him at!

Check out Inter Party Conflict!


Theme from Pole Position

Theme from Thundercats

Theme from M.A.S.K.

Theme from The Mighty Orbots

Theme from Silverhawks




08/30/2019 at 12:13 PM

Cage Match:  I give FF VII a lot of shit, but I don't think I can go with Quest 64.  I watched my younger brother play Quest and I was bored to tears.


08/30/2019 at 09:04 PM

Stage Select: That's a tough one. Most of the games I like have dating sim elements to them already. Maybe the Nintendo universe. You could have dating choices like Pauline, Peach, Zelda, Samus, Isabelle, Palutena, or a huge selection of Fire Emblem waifus. 

Cage Match: I laughed for quite a few minutes at this one.

My first 5th gen console was a N64. I guess for some reason I'd hoped that, even though FFVII was gone, that Enix, Nintendo, or some other company would step up with a good RPG. We had the promise of Earthbound 64, after all. What we got was Quest 64, which was the poster child for a lot that was screwed up with Nintendo during the 32/64 bit era. Nintendo seriously tried to say that Quest 64 was an adequate substitute for all the RPGs N64-only owners were missing out on. It was crazy. And in my desperation for an RPG, I even thought about getting it... until I found out that it had no party members, a primitive combat system, no money or shops, and very little else. At that point, I gave up on the N64 and broke down and bought a PS1. My first game for PS1, was, of course, FFVII, which is my favorite game of all time.  But it wasn't the only game like this. Nintendo was also reduced to heavily promoting games like ClayFighter 63 1/3, M.A.C.E, and Fighter's Destiny as competitors for Tekken, and Hybrid Heaven as the N64's Metal Gear Solid. I don't think they even had any competitor for Resident Evil lined up, though they did get a port of Resident Evil 2 at the end, along with Ogre Battle 64 and Harvest Moon 64. By then, it was too little, too late.

Contrast that to the Switch, which has so many great RPGs from Nintendo, Square Enix, and almost every other third party that it's hard to find time to play them all.

So, to summarize: "A congenital design defect has felled Quest 64 moments before it could enter the ring."

Exrian Contributing Writer

09/03/2019 at 11:43 AM

Fighters Destiny was Awesome! You take that back!


09/03/2019 at 05:30 PM

To be fair, Fighter's Destiny did look okay in the same way that San Francisco Rush looked okay compared to Ridge Racer or Daytona USA. Solid B-tier game. Certainly better than the likes of M.A.C.E. or (ugh!) War Gods.


08/30/2019 at 10:38 PM

I'm glad Clayfighter made a good showing last episode. We were never deep into fighting games growing up, but my family did have Clayfighter 63 1/3 and I loved all the personality the fighters had. I still use some of the cheesy catch phrases they quipped. Definitely a more memorable game than KI Gold.

Stage Select: Nintendo would never make a Mario dating sim but I think it could be hilarious if done right. You could pick your leading man, Mario or Luigi, and then pursue the lady of your choice: Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, or Pauline. They'd have to construct a sim-ish Mushroom Kingdom for you to play in. Fill it with minigames and goofy conversations and I think that'd be a lot of fun. After finishing the game you could unlock some joke characters to play or woo, like Boswer or Toadette. It'll never happen but it could work!

Cage Match: The cage comes down. FFVII and Quest 64 square off. The bell rings...and Quest 64 trips, slamming into the mat with the full force of its own mediocrity. FFVII wins without lifting a finger.

Super Step Contributing Writer

08/31/2019 at 11:07 PM

Stage Select: I'd basically make a Quantic Dream style game about the couple from OutRun. That's gotta be an interesting story, right?

Cage Match: Quest 64, cause I did in fact play it (via rental) and because I know it will otherwise deservedly get crushed. 

Jamie Alston Staff Writer

09/03/2019 at 09:30 AM

Stage Select: I've never played a dating sim before, but I'd love to see the Ace Combat series turned into one. I don't think it's too far fetched, given the drama they've injected into each successive sequel.

You can play the role of a cadet in their final months before graduating from "Air Force School". All battles during this time period are VR simulations preparing you for the real thing. 

After graduating, the relationships you've developed with your classmates (romantic or otherwise) will determine how well they support you or if they follow your orders at all. Between battles, your time is filled by hanging out with potentential romantic partners or you can decide to just be friends and maintain the relationship on a plutonic level.

But beware! Perhaps that long-forgetten lover (or several lovers) you spurned back in Air Force School suddenly reappear in your life just when things were starting to go well with your current romantic interest. Spurned lovers can sometimes defect to the enemy's side. Or perhaps a past flame or two might now show up as your commanding officer who sends you off on high-risk missions in hopes of having you killed!

And finally, the game could throw another curve by having your current lover have some sort of misguided "epiphany" and defect to the other side, forcing you to confront them in the final decisive battle. The battle of love.

Namco could call it Ace Combat Hearts. The catch phrase on the back of the box art could say "Love is in the air".     Sold!

Cage Match: The only thing I knew about Quest 64 was the commercial for it back in 1998. It surprises me that Nintendo actually tried to pass this off as a replacement for Final Fantasy VII because the commercial definitely didn't attempt to even make it seem nearly as dramatic or interesting.

But with FF VII, you had a better feel for what you were getting into even without seeing the actual gameplay footage (besides the CG cut scenes). Hands down, FF VII wins this match. It's not even really a fight against Quest 64; it''s a slaughter man.

Exrian Contributing Writer

09/03/2019 at 11:38 AM

Great show guys, it had plenty of good laughs. I'm pretty deep into my Black Eagles playthrough. Havent hit the time jump but it's close if I'm correct. Really enjoying it and want to play the other 2 houses afterwards.

How the hell does Justin get the time to play through these huge games so fast? I struggle to finish anything over 6 hours.


Stage Select: Let's just get to what Nintendo really wants, Fire Emblem dating sim! The combat isnt very hard anymore unless you are really trying hard not to break it. The latest game, which I love, has you spending more time outside of battle than in it. Tea Parties, gifts, dinners, and more. Nintendo just wants this to be a dating sim already but has to appeal to the hardcore fans. I'm totally down for this dating sim. A lot of my pleasure comes from getting to higher ranking support levels to see the conversations. Grow some balls Nintendo and just make a pure Fire Emblem dating sim already. Also Square needs to make Moogles Gone Wild...


Cage Match: Alright so apparently I have no idea what Quest 64 is. Could I google it? Sure, but where's the fun in that? So I will figure this out the only way I know how... Final Fantasy sends out the big guns, AKA Tifa, while Quest sends out Johnny Quest from that crappy show I saw a few times when I was young. Johnny cant take his eyes off the big guns, and gets decked in the mouth by a Tifa uppercut. So Final Fantasy 7 for the win.


09/04/2019 at 05:18 AM

I know, I know, another last-minute entry, but this time I have an excuse. I'm lazy. No, wait! I meant I had family visiting. And I'm lazy.  Also, I did think of a cage match but I just checked and it'd been done before.  Maybe next time!

STAGE SELECT: Tetris. Tetris.

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: "Oh, hey, a Booky post! Maybe Booky will post some funny odds or a wisecrack or something!" No. NO. Quest 64 needs to die. You see, I played Quest 64 as a kid via rental. I have a strong recollection of the general ugliness and the constrained, unwieldy battle system. And beyond that my strongest memory is of choosing the wrong magic and getting stuck at a boss because they were the same element as the one I mained and I didn't choose the absurdly OP Healing magic. And while it wasn't exactly a softlock because there is a way to get magic levels besides finding limited, hidden element collectibles, it would've required hours of grinding in a very linear, punishing game. Also, right now, tell me another Imagineer-developed RPG. Heck, tell me another Imagineer-developed game that wasn't like a weird conversion/port or something. One of those games you return early and try to beg the rental place to let you have the rest of the week on a new game, it's so bad. Quest. 64. Needs. To. Die.

Super Step Contributing Writer

09/06/2019 at 11:04 PM

Julian Titus Senior Editor

09/10/2019 at 09:02 PM

Huh. I think I only got the DK 64 one with my subscription.

Super Step Contributing Writer

09/12/2019 at 11:54 PM

I really thought you said it was a Donkey Kong Country tape ... in any case, there is a Killer Instinct teaser at the end. 

Julian Titus Senior Editor

09/15/2019 at 02:23 AM

Oh yeah, that’s what I meant. Been thinking about DK 64 because of Burgle My Bananas on Giant Bomb.

Log in to your PixlBit account in the bar above or join the site to leave a comment.