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Nerds Without Pants   

Nerds Without Pants Episode 174: We Regret Everything

...especially Final Fantasy VII Remake.

Welcome to what’s sure to be one of the most divisive episodes of Nerds Without Pants since, like, The Last of Us came out. We’re here to talk to you about some of our greatest video game regrets, which ends up being a very healing and cathartic Stage Select topic. Then, Julian and Justin are against the world when it comes to Final Fantasy VII Remake, and in Video Game Cage Match we have Horizon: Zero Dawn taking on X-Com: Enemy Unknown. Let’s goooo!

00:00-03:25 Introduction

03:40-1:55:57 STAGE SELECT: Our greatest gaming regrets

1:56:37-2:52:18 CONSUMPTION JUNCTION: Um, pretty much just Final Fantasy VII Remake, so strap in.

2:52:54-3:15:20 VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Horizon: Zero Dawn vs X-Com: Enemy Unknown

 

NEXT EPISODE:

STAGE SELECT: Give us 2 video game songs that make you HAPPY! (You can list more, but we’re only playing 2 per person)

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: The Simpsons: The Arcade Game vs Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Arcade Game (original arcade releases)

SUBMIT YOUR COMMENTS BY 8:30 CENTRAL ON MAY 1 TO BE ON THE SHOW!

Our theme song “Relax” and interstitial tracks “To the Maxx” and “Moody Grooves” written and performed by Megan McDuffee.

 


 

Comments

Super Step Contributing Writer

04/22/2020 at 04:13 PM

Wait, what happened with The Last of Us and which episode was that? 

I'm not too far into this episode (Julian is talking about games he sold from his GameFellas days) but I'll go ahead and do 

STAGE SELECT:

Ken's stage music makes me happy in an inspired way, like I'm ready to go to the gym and actually enjoy it. 

I only ever rented Cool Spot for SNES and have very little memory of it, but this Genesis version of a Tommy Tallarico song came up in a Console Wars (YouTube channel) video and it just makes me laugh that something quality like this was put in a game about a 7up mascot who didn't make it out of the 90s. And that the game was actually pretty decent too. 

CAGE MATCH:

It has been a long time since I played either and both of these franchises have enough arcade cabinets I can't be totally sure we're on the same page here, but I remember more friends wanting to play TMNT and that made it more fun. 

Plus, what are The Simpsons going to do? Have Marge scold the turtles for using real weapons in a kids' movie? I bet that whole controversy was based on a letter campaign from Marge Simpson. Go turtles. 

Julian Titus Senior Editor

04/22/2020 at 06:55 PM

Super Step Contributing Writer

04/22/2020 at 08:23 PM

Strong female presence, huh? I'm gonna need a TLoU 2  spoilercast when it drops. Also, holy shit, that drops in May. Next month. Crazy. 

Anyway, just to clarify the buying too many games thing, I think you and Justin were in the mindset of physical copies of games. I meant digital games, which are either always going to be there or I won't have a license to if they're not. Not the same value proposition in my opinion. 

I mean I guess you could argue not downloading P.T. is a regret ... yeah, never downloading P.T.  is a regret. 

SanAndreas

04/23/2020 at 01:51 AM

Stage Select:

1. The Dragon Quest Oveture. Epic in an optimisitc way, the intro music to Dragon Quest always promises a grand adventure.

2. The intro to Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete. Like with the Dragon Quest Oveture, this song perfectly captures the optimistic tone of the story and of the hero, Alex, as he embarks on his quest to become a Dragonmaster. Plus, the Lunar games are a couple of games that hold their own special place in my heart.

Cage Match:

The Simpsons, easily. First of all, as a franchise, The Simpsons >>>> TMNT. The Simpsons arcade game perfectly captured the spirit of the Simpsons as seen in its earliest years, when it was fresh and new.. Given the time frame in which it was developed, the game sported the rather raw look and feel of season 1/season 2 Simpsons, with a dash of Life in Hell thrown in here and there. The plot was just an excuse to beat up on Mr. Burns, who was the villain in pretty much every early 90s Simpsons video game. It was the closest thing at the time to a playable cartoon. It also just played better than TMNT, and the Japanese version is even better than the US version. I blew an embarrassing amount of quarters on this game. It's just too bad that conflicting licensing between Konami and Acclaim kept it from being ported to SNES and Genesis.

So basically, Bart and Lisa prank-call Moe for "Amanda Huggankiss" as Leonardo, Moe shows up with a knife, the Ninja Turtles break down crying and reveal that they're really Nelson, Jimbo, Kearney, and Dolph in disguise. The Simpsons win.

Super Step Contributing Writer

04/23/2020 at 06:42 PM

Mood while fighting the Final Fantasy VII Remake Demo boss: 

20-30 minutes?! They put in a story element to tell me this boss should last 20-30 minutes?! And what is hitting me? How? Ok, now I'm just healing every ten seconds. How do I dodge ALL these missiles? I ... wha? RED NUMBERS. 

So Julian, have you played Jedi: Fallen Order? It's pretty sweet. I'm actually happy I've died a couple times trying to pull stupid run and gun shit, cause the enemies are placed in such a way and combat done in such a way I think I know how to overcome the adversity. It's nice. 

Exrian Contributing Writer

04/23/2020 at 07:23 PM

Awesome podcast. Got to admit, I'm pretty stoked when I see 3+ hours for the episode. 

Last week I got really into acoustic versions of my favorite videogame music so this Stage Select comes at a perfect time. 

 

Stage Select: Happy Songs

Frogs Theme: Chrono Trigger 

This song is just epic nostalgic goodness. Instant classic and the reason I taught myself how to whistle. The song perfectly captures that heroic feeling and few characters are more deserving than Frog. Plus it takes me back to that moment he slices a damn mountain in half. This song always puts me in a good mood

 

Chrono Cross: Time's Scar 

There could be nothing else than this song for my number one. I still remember that opening poem perfectly. I remember all the feels I got watching that opening video. I still remember hearing this song during the commercial. Combine that with the awesome cutscenes they showed and I was in! I used my birthday money to buy it and didnt own a Playstation but was going to get a PS2 for Christmas. No other song from games stirs up my nostalgia and memory quite like this one.

 

Cage Match: TMNT obviously! I loved the Simpsons but a jump rope, vacuum cleaner, skateboard, and fists dont hold a candle to the Turtles weapons. Also this game came from Pizza Hut so that's another win.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

04/24/2020 at 06:25 PM

Stage Select

Wind Waker Title Theme- The first time I played the game I let the title screen just play out.

Pokemon XY Bicycle Theme- I could do a top five list for this Stage Select that's nothing but Pokemon bicycle themes and be completely satisfied. I don't know how, but each game Game Freak captures the sense of freedom and fun of riding your bike new places as a kid. Honorable mentions go to Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee and Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphires's

Cage Match:

The two would be evenly drawn, Michaelangelo and Donatello would get tired beating up Homer who can take a beating, Raphael would get annoyed by Bart until he'd threaten him causing Bart to skateboard away, and Leonardo would cut up Marge's vacuum bag, making her run to get a new one and Lisa's jump rope, making her cry. Seeing her family in trouble, Maggie then takes out the gun she shot Mr Burns with to finish off the turtles. Simpsons win.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

04/24/2020 at 08:46 PM

Oh and future Cage Match ideas:

Sly 3: Band of Thieves vs Mass Effect 2: Both games about recruiting a team of specialists to prepare for a final mission

Bloodstained vs Bloodborne: Because I still get these confused if I randomly hear them and I say this as a huge fan of both

Alien vs Predator Arcade versus Marvel vs Capcom: The name of this one just makes me laugh

Jamie Alston Staff Writer

04/30/2020 at 04:38 PM

Stage Select:

Yay! I get a do-over since I chimed in too late on a previous stage select that asked for our favorite game music. I'll keep it simple and just name one game with music that always makes me smile.

Shining Force II (Town music) - While I had heard of the Shining Force series in my younger years, I didn't really know anything about it until I played them on Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection on the PS3. When I got to Shining Force 2, I was pleasantly surprised by the happy tune of the town music that plays early in the game. It's so bright and chipper. I haven't heard a happier sounding town song in any other RPG I've played so far. Also, it had been years since I heard music instruments sound this good in a Genesis game. It sounds like something you'd hear in cartoon from that era.

I never got super far in the game, but that happy music actually makes me want to invest the time it would take to complete this strategy RPG (which I usually avoid due to the lengthy battles).

daftman

05/01/2020 at 01:38 PM

As I mentioned on Twitter, I am behind on all my podcasts because I've been home so much lately. I haven't even started this episode yet Cry but I do love music Stage Selects, so I wanted to get my picks on.

Stage Select:

I have not played Ys VIII or, sadly, any Ys games (I don't even have any in my sizable backlog!) but I would play this game just for this awesome music. It's so happy and energetic and upbeat. This is one of those songs I can listen to as an extended youtube video and not notice as the time flies by.

This, actually, is my all-time favorite song. Not Melodies of Life from FFIX, though that version is very good. I mean this solo piano arrangement specifically. I'm not sure why it has always affected me so much but even as a self-important stoic high school student, this song always gave me the feels and still does. It's just so beautiful. What's espcially cool is that the sheet music is freely available online and back in the day I could play the first half of the song on the piano...before it got too difficult lol.

Cage Match:

I have never played either of these games in the arcade (I'm more an X-Men kind of guy myself) but I have played the NES port of the Turtles arcade game and so I'm gonna go with that. So as I see it the Turtles step into the ring and mistake with the residents of Springfield...wherever...for grotesque mutants because of their yellow skin and proceed to beat the crap out of everyone. It's over pretty quick.

 

P.S. That picture is amazing!

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