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Nerds Without Pants   

Nerds Without Pants Episode 203: Impossible Segway

Or: Justin versus Google

On this episode of Nerds Without Pants it’s all about family, for reasons. Turns out there are some really interesting examples of family dynamics in video games, so this is a pretty good episode I think. Tell the people you love that you love them.

00:00-04:46 Introduction

5:00-1:48:48 STAGE SELECT: Video Game Families

1:50:12-3:12:59 CONSUMPTION JUNCTION: More Sims 4 mods, DokiDoki Literature Club, Mass Effect 3’s DLC

3:13:36-3:29:04 VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Quest 64 vs Castlevania 64


STAGE SELECT: Listener Total Request Live! Give us any two video game songs you want us to play. No licensed tracks!

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Final Fantasy VIII vs Chrono Cross



Theme from The Golden Girls

Theme from Who’s The Boss?

Theme from Perfect Strangers

Theme from The Nanny




07/14/2021 at 08:25 PM

Stage Select:

This track from the 1994 British-made PC point and click adventure, Dreamweb. Composed by Matthew Costello. This track is a bit long and obviously you're not going to play the whole thing, but it's quite excellent and worth listening to start to finish. It is called Total HeAd Control [sic].

 My second piece is from Ultima III: Exodus on the NES, one of the first, but definitely not the last, RPGs I played. The music for the NES version was produced in Japan and was much different from the music for the computer versions, at least the computer versions that even had music to begin with. I found out years later that this track, and another U3 track, had a full J-pop rendition with vocals, called "Hitomi no Naifu" or "Knife of the Eye."

Cage Match: 

Final Fantasy VIII. Aside from the fact i thoroughly enjoyed the game itself in spite of, or even because of the junction system being pretty broken, it holds a special place in my heart. I really identified with Squall's inner turmoil, for one. Aside from the military and magical stuff, Squall's experience in high school was a lot like mine. It also came out the fall before I started college, so the school theme kind of stuck with me. 

Chrono Cross... when it came out, my finances gave me a choice between it and Valkyrie Profile. I chose Valkyrie Profile, thinking it looked more interesting. When I finally did play Chrono Cross, I learned thaf I had made the correct choice the first time. 

Show response: on the subject of Insomniac doing Mario, please, no. And by that I mean God, no. Among other takeaways I had from 7th gen was a strobg distaste for Western interpretations of Japanese franchises. The one allowance I might make for that is Retro Studios, which had strong leadership from Nintendo of Japan. I'm actually okay with the blank slate nature of Mario. I come for the gameplay, not the story.  I wouldn't mind a bit of interplay between M&L, but I would definitely prefer it to be left in Japanese hands.


07/23/2021 at 10:25 AM

Dreamweb, good answer, good answer!

Cary Woodham

07/16/2021 at 08:10 AM

I have a podcast now, too, by the way.  I'll write about it in an upcoming blog.

Jamie Alston Staff Writer

07/16/2021 at 12:40 PM

Stage Select:

My first pick is the battle music from Persona 4 called "It's time to Make History". I am very late to the Persona series, only having played P4 last year with the Square Roots Podcast. I loved how much the game embraces music with lyrics in an RPG and I never tired of the countless battles I entered while experiencing the story. I'm not sure how it compares with Persona 5, but it certainly got me interested in playing it at some point.


My second pick- Recently I subscribed to Apple Music and got curious enough to search for Final Fantasy soundtracks. I wanted to see how the music evolved in the early series. When I got to the Final Fantasy III soundtrack, I discovered a song called Eternal Wind- the music that plays on the overworld map. Upon hearing the opening notes, I was floored. I had never heard NES music composed that way. It left such an impression on me that I started playing a fan-translated version of the game this week so I can experience the whole story. I love that one piece of music can move me to experience a game I otherwise would have passed up.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

07/19/2021 at 12:20 AM

Stage Select

Mirror B Theme (Pokémon Colosseum)- Yes, Mirror B has another game! While I prefer his XD track, there's nothing wrong with a salsa mix!

Kreia's Fall (Kotor 2)-Kotor 2 has one of the weirdest soundtracks because while it fits the SW universe, it entirely embraces the more melancholy tracks to the point where hearing the signature SW theme at the credits feels like tonal whiplash. The best pick of this is the rebuilt Jedi Enclave IMO, showing the pain the Jedi went through during the war with a slight hint at hope. A hint that inevitably gets crushed because this is one seriously depressing game 

Cage Match: I hate FFVIII. I hate it with a passion. I hate it so much I don't even want to come up with a fake scenario where the FFVIII party fights the Chrono Cross party I blame it for me bpuncing off the series since it was one of my early experiences with FF. So Chrono Cross wins. I haven't played it but I'm sure I'd like it more than FFVIII.


07/23/2021 at 10:43 AM

I had a bit to say but unfortunately I had to put it off too long due to internet issues for like the last 2 weeks so I have to make this quick, sorry guys!  I should've looked at remixes but no time!

Stage Select: I'm a bit thrilled with this topic because I always wanted a "bizarre song" Stage Select!  In fact, I might've even submitted this one maybe before because it's my go to wacky song (there's definitely other ones from this soundtrack but this one is my personal favorite, Doll Graveyard from Forever Kingdom):

And then let's cool down with some Mario Paint with the song "Mysterious":

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: I'm taking to heart that the best game doesn't always win the cage match.  And, in fact, I'm not sure which is the worst game.  But, it's a known fact that Chrono Cross has like 800 characters or something.  Nobody can even count them, it's like from that World War Z movie: You might take down one or two but they just surge in like floodwater breaking a dam.  One's a cactus, there's a pirate.  A scarecrow?  Why not.  One looks like Yoda or something who cares, there's 794 left.


07/23/2021 at 08:12 PM

Stage Select

To the Future (Trails of Cold Steel 4)

I love the mixture of orchestra with rock or techno percussion and this song is a great example of that. Bonus points for prominent piano!

Overdose (Blue Reflection)

Sticking with JRPGs but going further down the techno spectrum, I love this energetic battle theme.

Cage Match

Nothing against Final Fantasy VIII but I watched my older brother play it back in the day and have never felt the urge to play it myself (unless I ever actually get around to every Final Fantasty at some point). I have, however, played Chrono Cross all the way through twice. I love the convoluted plot and the quirky characters (even if there are too many of them). It has one of the best soundtracks ever, which I still regularly listen to, and perhaps the best graphics on the PS1. Chrono Cross is a solid win in my book.


07/24/2021 at 05:28 PM

I understand Blue Reflection is getting a sequel for PS4/5 and Switch that releases next yeae. 


07/25/2021 at 03:54 PM

I'm not very familiar with the game beyond its cool soundtrack but I'm always happy when a little-known game does well enough for a sequel.


07/24/2021 at 06:05 PM

I have an idea for a cage match. Quest 64 keeps crawlimg out of the grave and getting pummeled. Meanwhile, the champion decides to take on its biggest competitot in a rematch of the ages. The battle of two champions: Final Fantasy VII versus Ocarina of Time!

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