PixlBit

Remembering the best, worst, and creepiest VG commercials that ever aired on TV

Most of us can attest to the fact that the internet wasn't around when we were growing up. We couldn't rely on IGN and other gaming websites to tell us if games were good or bad; instead we relied on gaming magazines and shameless advertisements found therein or on TV. Back then, television commercials were very important; if a kid who had an NES saw an awesome commercial for a game, no doubt he would beg his parents to get it for him until they would go crazy. Companies knew this, so they did their best to make their video game appealing in a short TV ad.

Fast forward several years, and now we do have the internet, allowing us to look back at all of these VG commercials. Perhaps some are nostalgic, others make us laugh, others creep us out, and others are just awful. Don't worry, in this RETROspective, we'll see all of the above in these TV commercials spanning three decades. We'll see the good, the bad, and the ugly (and the really ugly). Let me add, these are only TV commercials, not trailers, so if it didn't appear on television, you won't see it here. Now, ready? Take a deep breath, and enjoy!

The Funniest

Super Smash Bros. (1999)

This classic TV spot makes me laugh every time. Mario, Dk, Yoshi, and Pikachu are walking through the grass hand-in-hand, when suddenly Mario kicks Yoshi and starts a fight! It's just so random but great! Those big goofy costumes are a riot too.

Kevin Butler--It Does Everything (2009-2011)

This guy is so funny. Played by Jerry Lambert, Kevin Butler appeared in tons of TV ads for Sony's Playstation 3. He has a different job title in nearly every commercial, standing and convincing people why the PS3 is the best. Sony planned to only use him through 2010, but the commercials were such a success that he kept going into 2011. The video above is a compilation of some of the commercials, but there are many more.

Battle Tanx (1998)

What begins as a harmless "Snuggle Bear" commercial turns into A DAY OF TERROR! That good-for-nothin' bear is chased down by a vicious tank! What makes this so great is that they made a sequel commercial in which the bear is fixed, but the tank chases him down again! Get that bear, get him, yeah!

The Most Bizarre

Joust (1982)

So this guy is playing his new game Joust on his Atari 2600 when suddenly two bird-knights burst through the floor and start jousting. They fight for a looooong time, wrecking the house, and finally leave. But wait, it gets even more strange. The guy eats an egg they leave behind and turns into a bird! Was this commercial supposed to make you want the game? This freaky, weird commercial might make kids want to play something safer, but then again, this was the 80s.

You Still Don't Have a Sega CD? (1993)

As usual, Sega bashes Nintendo in this one while trying to "blow your mind." This guy's TV talks to him, then promptly shows him some Sega CD games, which somehow destroys his room and almost gives him a heart attack. I'm sure kids thought this was pure awesome in '93, but it seems just chaotic to me. Also, it's funny, because the guy's treated like an idiot for not having a Sega CD.

Zelda: A Link to the Past Dance [Japanese] (1992)

I actually like this one despite the fact that it is wacko weird. While Zelda is trapped in a cage, Link and a bunch of other characters from the game dance it off. I love the costumes and setting; you get to see Link come down with his sword, and you even get to see the giant Ganon. Pretty awesome. And weird, yes. Only Japan could come up with something like this.

The Creepiest

Crying Baby--PS3 (2006)

Not only is this commercial completely creepy, but it also makes no sense at all. A baby doll is sitting in a room with nothing except for a PS3. Okay? He cries, then sucks back in the tears, then laughs. . . but what does a baby doll have to do with the PS3? Someone was paid to come up with this thing! And I wouldn't be surprised if 5 year olds had nightmares after seeing this!

The Meanest

Blast Processing--Sega Genesis (1992)

This shameless Genesis TV spot compares the Genesis to the Super NES in just one area: blast processing (which is a term they made it). They make the Genesis look fast and awesome while showing how old, slow, and pathetic SNES is (showing footage of Super Mario Kart, which we all know is a stupid game--not really). But that's Sega for ya.

The Foulest

Birthday Cussing--Jam Sessions (2007)

This shocking commercial aired in Australia. It starts off innocent enough, showing us a kid's birthday party. He gets a game (Jam Sessions) and is stoked. Then the mom tries to give him cake, but he slams it down and shouts out the f-word three times! After which the screen says "Instant Rockstar." Oh yeah, because rockstars hate cake and love to drop the f bomb left and right (maybe they do?). And what's this game rated? E10+! Well, this commercial is certainly not rated E10+! Way to promote your game, Ubisoft.

The Worst

Do the Math--Jaguar (1993)

This commercial is handled terribly. The whole thing is based on the Jaguar having more bits than the other systems, which we know doesn't make it better. The teacher is apparently teaching a group of very inept men, and she loses it at the end, yelling "Jaguar, Jaguar, Jaguar!" Oh yeah, lady, that's gonna sell your system.

Zelda Rap (1986)

This commercial for The Legend of Zelda has two extreme stereo types in it: a nerdy kid (who is constantly pushing up his glasses) and a cool kid. The cool kid is blown away by the graphics of the game. No "cool" kid of the 80s would admit to a nerdy kid that his game has "awesome graphics!" What's this kid doing hanging out with the nerd anyways? But wait, it gets worse: they have a rap play out while looking at footage of the game. No no, don't ruin such a magnificent game with your awful rapping!

The Best

Robin Williams and Zelda--Ocarina of Time 3D (2011)

This was a match made in heaven. Robin Williams did some Zelda commercials with his daughter Zelda for Ocarina of Time 3D (they did a Skyward Sword commercial too). With his voice narrating while footage is shown is truly magical. The late Robin Williams was not just a movie star; he enjoyed classic video games like Zelda too. These commercials have heart! The love between a father and daughter, and love for a great game series as well. It's simply amazing.

Long Live Play--PS3 (2011)

Okay, I'm not sure if this one actually appeared on TV, but I'm putting it here anyways because it's amazing. Watch it now if you've never seen it. As you watch, you see several game characters together in a pub talking, describing their adventures. What a climax as they all begin praising one person, and it's eventually revealed that it's the player, Michael. These game characters owe their lives to Michael for playing their games and ultimately winning. By the end, I'm seriously fighting back the tears. It's just that good.

What are some of your favorite VG commercials?