PixlBit

STAGE SELECT:
Two words: Rumble.  Vest. https://youtu.be/r9gx_wAaq5A?t=398

Another big one is the Game Genie but maybe not for the reason you're thinking.  I was playing a Mario 64 creepy romhack over Halloween and while it didn't gel with me I thought of my childhood.  I remember my sibling was big on experimenting with the Game Genie trying to unlock weapons that didn't exist or modify movement patterns.  But what invariably happened was that they'd cause the game to crash which always produced a kind of creepy side effect, usually involving one rushing to the console to switch it off since the sound engine would mess up and more likely than not start blaring a glitched tone sequence while the graphics got more and more corrupted.  And you never really knew when it would happen, you could be playing the game normally and then get a jump scare outta nowhere because the code modification was slightly off.  Heck, sometimes that happened on consoles without a Game Genie if there was a bad connection, or if it overheated, or whatnot.

But the heyday of game modification didn't last very long, among other things such as the complexity of the device (which rose prices) or that the companies got in trouble and were targeted for legal action (deserved or not), even when newer consoles had it it involved using Master Codes and whatnot which killed experimentation (plus later consoles didn't load as fast and the disc ones even required swapping).  I was thinking it was a shame really that younger people didn't get to experience that kind of wild fright, especially one where it occurred when it felt like you were doing something you really weren't supposed to be doing, because with all the weird niche horror communities they'd probably eat that up.  At least I always thought that stuff was much creepier than junk like, "Wouldn't it be scary if Mario from Mario 64 didn't have a face?  I mean that never happens but wouldn't that be scary?"  Yawn.

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH:
Did you know in Winter Heat the character B.B. (a mysterious, non-gendered figure in the manual, like Samus kinda) replaces Jef Jansens from Decathlete, and when you win as her she says, "Jef, it's all done"!?  You won't even find this tidbit online btw, but if you don't believe me it's Speech 105 in the Sound Test.  Also, you can unlock characters (including Jef who replaces B.B) but only in the Japanese version!  What other type of game has this deep, hidden lore?  Winter Heat wins!

STAGE SELECT: Personally?  Probably nothing really, all the rareish stuff I have (like Tron Bonne and Mega Man legends PC complete with box, I think that's worth >$100 at least) I actually purchased brand new.  Even like the NES garage sale games I got as a teen were never worth much I believe.  A lot of the retro games I really, really like I found as an adult and never had as a physical cartridge or anything.

But, hmmm, maybe I can share this if I'm vague.  I found a rare video game on eBay, the kinda that goes for hundreds of dollars the few times it pops on auction sites, for about $50.  I sent it off to a preservation site to see if they could do anything with it but unfortunately the methods just aren't there yet for the thing as it used some newer components, and really it's not popular enough to have anybody working on it since they can work on more popular stuff.  I did get some cool pics out of it lol but afaik it's just in somebody's closet right now.  I still check auction sites looking for another copy that I could own personally, but it's been many, many years and I've only seen it pop up, at it's expensive prices, a few times!  At least I got to play it a little before I shipped it off which is kinda cool too.

CAGE MATCH: What do you get when you cross the protagonist of Super Meat Boy with the protagonist of I Am Bread?  A real hero.  A real hero.  Like a hero sandwich.  Fuck you.  Super Meat Boy wins!

STAGE SELECT:
Sorry for the double but I'm going to go with the classic: escort missions.  I'm actually usually pretty ambivalent about them in general but it does seem like when you get a bad escort mission, woof.  I refuse to believe anybody actually beat Goldeneye, especially on the harder difficulties.  You can still say "Natalya" to somebody that had Goldeneye and they'll shoot off curses like a knee-jerk reaction.  RareGamer.com has this to say about it, "In later missions, Natalya would wield her own firearms to take on Janus‘s henchmen, though turning the weapon up to her own face before firing might have made things a little more painless."  Fun fact, they made a pseudo-remake of Goldeneye for the Wii (replacing the model with Daniel Craig of all weirdness) and, despite many of the sections being very different, one where you protect her (Control) is, yep, also game-endingly awful.

If you want another type of mission: arena missions where the enemies just kinda pop in from nothing, especially if they can do so right behind you.

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH:
Okay, hear me out.  We know Souls fans when you talk about Souls games: "Tryhard."  "Elden Ring's not even a real Souls game."  "Wow, talking about a Souls game, how unique."  Nobody cares, every podcast everywhere talks about Souls games, it's nothing.  But if Nerds Without Pants became the official Sonic and the Secret Rings podcast?  Have you met a Sonic fan?  We could double our viewership!  Heck, with the way Julian has been talking about it, maybe even triple or quadruple!  Sonic fans will consume *anything*!  Nerds Without Pants: The Official Podcast of Sonic and the Secret Rings (but only that, we have standards) wins!

STAGE SELECT: I'm also one of those people that destroys every barrel, hacks every computer, steals every item, uses a window instead of a door, and absolutely never uses a potion, you know, just in case I have to later (there is no later).  Here's a couple I didn't see mentioned.  If a game has the possibility of a Goomba stomp, ya gotta try it.  I've also perfected battles in various Castlevania games but have become visibly agitated if I miss a cool dive kick into the orb or whatever the boss drops.

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Where do you guys come up with some of these games?  It's bizarre.  Just these funny little games no one has ever played and certainly nobody cares about.  And what a silly name, "Neverwinter Nights".  Beat Down: Fists of Vengeance wins!

Stage Select:
I'm going to go with Bob Page and Wilton Simons from Deus Ex.  Bob Page is a guy who's too privileged even for his own secret society.  And Walton Simons is a guy who JC calls *himself* an ugly son of a bitch just to insult.

Video Game Cage Match:
Ain't no rules says the dog can't win a cage match.  Nitus wins!

STAGE SELECT: In a generalized quest model, Q is the quest, C is the catalyst to initiate the quest, G represents the stages of growth or genesis of the hero, and Y represents the conquering of the hero's inevitable destiny.  The dual approach to defining a quest includes six antithetical stages between the models, indicated by matched superscript numbers. For example, Individualism in the singular quest (see Table 3) has an opposite stage of Collaboration in the synergy quest in (see Table 4), and Solitary Victory in the singular quest is opposed by Group Victory in the synergy quest. This offers significantly different play experiences: solitary versus collaboration, receiving versus giving aid, large or small spatial displacement, and singular versus group victory. The differences between the singular and synergy quests can be expressed similarly.  Therefore, Quest sub 1 = d (spatial movement) >((Stimulus of goal/objecting,Crossed Threshold,≤),(Individual Forms of Assistance,(Trials,≤,Rewards)),((Enemy/Entity to overcome,Boon),Barriers,≤,Transfiguration (of hero and/or ordinary world)).  Or to put it another way, Q sub i=d>((S(g),H,≤),(A sub r,(T,≤,R)),((E,B),I,≤,F)).  Source: Harris and Caldwell (2023).  Oh, side quests are just quests you do on the side.

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Castlevania wins.  However, in 100 years or whatever Castlevania will be public domain while Mickey Mouse still won't be for some reason.  Maybe Disney will argue that the founding fathers meant "keep [and] bear arms" to include other anthropomorphic animals or some shit.  So who really wins?

STAGE SELECT: I misheard this question and was under the impression it was a monkey paw thing so I don't really have a good one at the last second here.  I did hear that Nintendo was happy about the Mario movie and was looking into making other films of their properties.  I think a Star Fox movie might be pretty cool, even if it might end up a bit dry.  Hell, they probably still have those Star Fox puppets in storage, just break those out.  Knowing Nintendo, though, they'll probably just continue to partner with Illumination doing all the safe things.  Look out for "EXCCUUUUUSEE ME, PRINCESS!" and a whole overly long bit about Song of Storms (fart joke).

VIDEO GAME CAGE MATCH: Oh, Blades of Steel easy, no jokes or anything.  I spent hours in this game picking fights beating the hell out of the opposite team until they were left defenseless without a standing opponent on their side.  It's practically just a fighting game wrapped in a sports game's shell.  And then you get to play the first level of Gradius or whatever.  Blades of Steel wins!

STAGE SELECT: The one I always here about is Arkane's classic example, where in Prey your domicile's toilet seat defaults to up if you play as the guy and down if you play as the girl.  But UnderTale's the main one I wanted to bring up since I have a... well, not a story as that would mean it goes somewhere but stay with me.  The demo is what I want to talk about, it includes a manual and as you go through the demo it changes.  In particular it gets creepily defaced when you do the Genocide Route as it became known.  If I remember correctly there was even plans to replace your computer's wallpaper but it fell through (along with the manual being in the full game) due to mainly computer system rights issues and antivirus detections.  UnderTale always comes to mind for me personally because it was sort of a right place, right time kind of thing for me.  I got in the demo VERY early because I happened to be frequenting an indie game development topic on some forums for a very short time and a user was like, "Hey, my friend from another forum that made like a couple EarthBound hacks just released this demo thing."  I got hooked on it immediately and even messaged Toby Fox a few times.  We even went back and forth and figured out a bug (which I thought was another branching path at the time!) although if I remember there's actually still a version of it in the final game.  Just a weird thing that happened to me because I was on the fringe edge of a thing where someone in that circle was part of a weird fringe in another circle that just barely interconnected!

CAGE MATCH: Ummm, mirror check time!  "Elite Dangerous" sounds like what that little brat Tommy in your fifth grade classroom started calling himself after he bought a cheap pair of sunglasses at a drug store and starting wearing them to school until the home room teacher, Mrs. Temsley, had to confiscate them which only took like a couple days but was still way too long.  Gag!  "No Man's Sky" sounds moody and poetic and deep and like what the emo kid calls himself but then you kind of figure out it's just a word play on the term "No Man's Land" which just sounds stodgey and it's not even like a good pun or anything and then you just feel bad for him and embarressed and not in a good way.  Thank god you are one of the popular girls!  But unfortunately for you, you told Venessa that you kinda thought Robert Smith from The Cure was kinda cute and if Vanessa tells anyone YOU WILL JUST DIE!  No Man's Sky wins.  Fer sure!

STAGE SELECT:
I'm not sure if I had the habit first or I picked it up because I played so much Mega Man Battle Network but I can't do the occassionally fist pump without thinking of when Mega Man or Lan do one when picking up an item: https://youtu.be/Rx3pM7zKo4Q?t=7119 .  There's over 6 games worth of that damn fist pump and it's even done in Star Force so you see it *a lot* if you play through those series.  I'm sure there's others as I'm always spouting some nonsense referencial garbage (Henshin A Go Go Baby!) but that's the one that pops up for me right now.  One of the weirdest now that I think about it that just randomly pops up occassionally is "*wolf whistle* I like that!" from the very, very bizarre first cinamatic No More Heroes trailer back when it was called Project Heroes.  Every word of that trailer is voiced, in English, as if an alien race had to invent language from whole cloth.  That's right, not even from the game, from the weird teaser trailer that came years before I probably saw on IGN or something: https://youtu.be/jumf7jtB9x4?t=194 .  Brains are stupid.

CAGE MATCH:
Remember that monster you created when you put your Matchbox 20 CD in the PSX?  Well, it's still waiting for you.  And boy is it pissed.  Monster Rancher wins!

STAGE SELECT:
You know, all the classics.  Metal Gear Solid.  Pokemon Yellow.  Thief: The Dark Project.  3D Frog Man.  Wetris: Tetris but damp.  Arm Joe starring Mr. 24601 himself, Jean Valjean.  Gex: Enter the Gecko.  Iggy's Reckin' Balls again.  Oh shit, Quest 64!

CAGE MATCH:
I was researching this and, right there on Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside's Wikipedia page it says, "Due to licensing agreements, a fictional player named 'Roster Player #98' is used in [Michael] Jordan's place." SO - MY - VOTE - GOES - TO - ROSTER - PLAYER - 98.