PixlBit

UFO gives us more of what it does best.

The 3DS eShop can be a dangerous place. Littered with just as much shovelware as gems, it can be tough to know what you're getting into after a brief skimming of the media associated with a given title. In the case of Johnny Impossible, the association with publisher UFO should already be enough to make your spidey-sense tingle, but if you’re still on the fence given its Metroidvania gameplay, let me assure you, it’s no diamond in the rough.

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All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.

Much like the sequel to Evil Dead, Corpse Party: Book of Shadows opens up to a very familiar scene. In fact, it’s basically the same start to the previous game. Unlike that second Evil Dead, the characters in this story are vaguely aware that they’ve been in this situation before, but not soon enough to seal their collective fates once again. Yep, it’s back to the cursed and deadly Heavenly Host Elementary school. If you're into Japanese culture, you'll notice a lot of plot devices involving déjà vu. This whole game feels like one massive case of déjà vu, and I’m just not feeling it this time around.

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The debate about the existence of Purgatory has been resolved! You can experience it yourself for an affordable 200 DSi Shop Points.

Boy, since jumping in video games is a lot of fun, it’s gotta be really great to play a whole game that lets you just jump, jump, jump all the way to Heaven!  Ducking? Pshhhhh.  Shooting?  Lame.  Variety?  Pass.  All we want is that sweet, sweet jumping!  These and other idiotic statements must have been scrawled down during some malformed focus group of imbeciles when the developers of Ah! Heaven were doing preliminary planning for their amazingly boring platformer.

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