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Well jeez, I wasn't prepared to die this much.
Like many other small gaming outlets, PixlBit didn't receive their copy of Dark Souls II until the Friday before the game's March 11 release. This didn't afford much time to play the game to meet embargo; however, that's no big deal, because it's affording other opportunities, like this article! Until resident Souls master Chris Yarger has time to crank out his review, I figured that I'd provide some initial impressions for those waiting with bated breath for PixlBit's review of From Software's latest masterpiece.
Prepare to be offended.
In the seventeen years that South Park has graced the airwaves, fans have been subjected to the horror and torment of a wide assortment of video games that were palatable at best and flat out blasphemous at their worst. They lacked everything that makes South Park fans tingle with excitement: gratuitous amounts of foul language, over-the-top violence, crazy characters, blatant insults veiled behind a mask of satire, and the raw unapologetic use of every conceivable taboo with the intention to offend. But years later it seems that our cries of injustice were finally heard. Here it finally is, the definitive South Park experience chock full of enough smut, vulgarity, and sexism, to satisfy the sick twisted bastards that we all are.
Let's try not to die (too often).
If you plan to venture through the lands of Dark Souls II, you’d best be prepared with the reflexes of a tiger and the survival skills of a Cub Scout troop leader. The adventure won’t be easy, but it can be made bearable with a few tips and tricks from the grandmaster himself (which is me, if you didn’t know). Throughout this gratuitously grandiose guide, I’ll be giving a few tips based on the environment and exploration, combat, items and item management, and online portions of the game, so grab a nice blanket and get comfortable, because this is going to be one hell of a ride!
How to make an OlliOlli: Take Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, make it 2D, remove the vert tricks, and put all the trick controls on the analog stick. Voila!
It's hard to say "skateboarding" and "video game" in the same sentence and not evoke immediate thoughts of the now classic Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater (THPS) series. Those games redefined the genre and brought social relevance to the counter-culture sport. Given that the craze for these games is over, OlliOlli has rolled through the door in an attempt to rekindle our love of the extreme sport with a new take on it. Rather than the vert-centric experience of Tony Hawk, OlliOlli is a pure street skating game, and a 2D side-scrolling one at that. Though clearly influenced by THPS, it goes about things in its own way. Unfortunately, Roll7's unique take on the sport doesn't ascend to the heights that The Birdman did in the '90s.
P-p-p-p-pirate ghosts!
Yaaaar! Welcome to another adventure on the high seas of the internet, ya landlubbers! This week, the crew of the S.S. NWP take a stab at the dreaded topic of piracy. No, not that piracy, the kind where people steal games and other media because they can.
This one's for you, asrealasitgets!
Well, we're a man down this week, but instead of leaving you lovely listeners hanging, Julian and Angelo have a special edition of Nerds Without Pants just for you. Yes, you! Come back next week for a bonus episode of NWP, followed by your regularly scheduled Panstless Ones. It's three weeks of rambling!
Haven’t I been here before, over and over again?
Just imagine that you’re one of the most unlucky people in the world for a moment, and you’re walking along and a cute girl asks if you want to have a free try with a small lottery machine. Now let’s say you win for the first time in your life, and that prize just happens to be a transformation into God. That’s how the story goes for Renya, and unfortunately, it’s the last bit of luck you see throughout the rest of the game.
