PixlBit

You know when I was a kid I got the joys of awesome cartoons. And some of those cartoons were cartoons that were older. You see before Boomerang became a pay to watch program...you could watch cartoons from classic Hanna Barbera free on basic cable Cartoon Network...you know the old Cartoon Network...before it got shitty. Anyways today I review a game that fails to do a classic series justice...today: Wacky Races: Crash & Dash

Now before I get into Crash & Dash, let's take a second back to the past when the Dreamcast was around. Now this was an awesome game. It was fun. I had an awesome time with it. Sure it was hard getting Muttley coins and the extra challenges made me want to tear my hair out, but back then I had cheat codes and unlocked Dick Dastradly to destroy my opponents! Now let's take a look at that game.

Cel shaded graphics, the voice acting is pretty fun, the powers are cool to use, All in all it was a damn good racing game. There was even a Wacky Races on the PS2! Let's look at that.

Same  cel shaded style, probably just as fun I'd imagine...But I didn't play that. Now let's take a gander at the Wii game shall we?

One of these things is not like the other thing. One of these things just doesn't belong. If you can guess which thing is not like other thing...then you would guess Crash & Dash is that game!!!

So now I ask why. Why would you make a side scrolling racer? Yes I'm aware that this is also a DS title, but it's not like they can't do something that's I don't know...3 DIMENSIONAL?

The game features three modes- Crazy Circuit, Wacky Race and Trap Challenge, with the main focus of the game being Crazy Circuit. In this mode, you choose one of six courses, each of which features four tracks. Like Mario Kart, you compete on a series of tracks, earning points based on finishing order. Highest points at the end wins.

But here is where this game gets frustrating. As you race around the track, staying on the screen, leading the pack, or using power-ups will fill your Mad Dash meter and net you Mad Dash cogs. These are important because at the end of the race, all of the cars will come together for a wild sprint to the finish, where the winner is determined by the number of cogs in their possession. If you gained the number of cogs necessary  then you will win easily; if you fell short of the quota, then you'll either win by just a hair or lose to the other racers. Basically, the entire race is decided by a five-second free-for-all at the end, making the whole experience feel cheap and pointless.

You'll  also be attacked by Dick Dastardly and his sidekick, Muttley. These events consist of quick minigames that run from simple, complicated, or entirely impossible. These challenges completely ruin the flow of the game, interrupting you in the middle of the race to make you complete a boring and dumb task, Also there are only eight challenges in total so, you'll be repeating the same minigames over and over and over again.

The gameplay is exceptionally flawed and the visuals don't fare much better. The camera system is awful. Somehow, the camera manages to pull out far enough that all 10 racers are on the screen at once and yet stays close enough that you can almost never see the road ahead of you or pick out your vehicle when in a crowd of other racers.

The controls continue this theme of awfulness, as they do their best to mess up every step of the way. There is no gas or brake, so approaching a corner consists of turning your analog stick from one direction to another. Unfortunately, if you happen to make a turn too loose or too tight, there's no way to correct it; you just fall off into a canyon or some other area void. Also, a lot of the power-ups require you to shake the Wiimote relentlessly (as do the Mad Dashes to the finish line), giving you a sore wrist.

There is a redeeming aspect of Crash & Dash. The soundtrack is great. Even the actors are pretty good. The announcer especially stands out and gives me that ever familiar feeling of watching the old cartoon, even if he does tend to repeat himself.

Review: Wacky Races crashes more than it dashes.

Alright so what game is up next?

NO I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO A!!