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Wii U Panorama View Hands On Preview

The only thing that could be better than Wii U™ Panorama View (working title) would be Wii U™ Panorama View (working title): Game of the Year Edition.

Every year, about the time the massive Electronic Entertainment Expo occurs, there are the rumblings of an ancient prophecy. Myths and rumors are whispered about a truly revolutionary video game, one that will change the world and the way humanity sees it. A few games have bubbled up in this century and the last that have shown some potential, but as time passed, it was clear they were only precursors to the video game messiah.

Finally, the prophecy has been fulfilled. Nintendo has shown us the One, True Game: Wii U™ Panorama View (working title).

First, before I begin my preview, let me preface my words with this: The glory that is Wii U™ Panorama View (working title) can not be expressed by mere words, nor can it be told in one single preview. I will do my best with illustrations and example images to convey how much wonder and bewilderment can be found in Wii U™ Panorama View (working title), but unfortunately, I am a mere mortal, and as such, my descriptions and words will be flawed. I hope you can understand I will do the best I can, but this is truly a game that must be seen. That must be played. There is no Wii U, only Wii U™ Panorama View (working title). 

I think a 3rd-grader made this.

An artist's rendering of clouds, one of the sights possible in Wii U™ Panorama View (working title).

Many of us have flown in planes before. Most have peered out of those tiny, little portholes at the clouds, at the ground below. Most of us have been annoyed by seeing the wings of the plane obstructing our views. For those of you who have shared those feelings with me, I have good news. Picture sitting in a window-seat on an airplane. Now, imagine you can hold the window in your hands. And imagine you don't have to fasten your seat belt. Imagine there is no seat belt at all. In fact, you're not even on an airplane. However, you will think you are flying. Why? Because you're holding the Wii U GamePad controller, and you're playing Wii U™ Panorama View (working title). Now, picture that rather than being on an airplane, you're in your living room, looking at the screen on the Wii U GamePad controller, peering into the skies, watching clouds pass by as you fly through the air in your house, with your flying plane window in your hands and no airplane wing blocking your line of site.

Scene from The Lion King Musical + Wii U Panorama View promo image.

Nintendo has neither confirmed nor denied that you can experience the epic moment at the beginning of Disney's The Lion King in Wii U™ Panorama View (working title).

In my childhood, I was rather fond of ducks. Any ducks, really. Even ducklings. Especially ducklings. However, as a child, I experienced emotional trauma whenever I would run towards the ducks and they would fly away. Perhaps now, thanks to Wii U™ Panorama View (working title), I may be able to overcome my PTSD in a safe and healthy environment. Why? Because Wii U™ Panorama View (working title) has geese! Canadian geese! The kind of geese that look like ducks! Once Wii U™ Panorama View (working title) is released, I'll be able to view as many duck-like geese from any angle I choose, whenever I want! Even while the geese are flying!

Ducklings in a Mug and Wii U Panorama View screenshot of geese.

Please do not try to shove bread into the Wii U GamePad controller. As lifelike as these geese seem, they will not be able to eat it.

Of course, Wii U™ Panorama View (working title) isn't just a giant game of duck, duck, goose. This phenomenal piece of software will offer a chance to look around at various “exotic” locations from around the world! It's like being magically teleported to a magical landmark in a magical world all inside the magical Wii U™ console by looking through a porthole that is the Wii U GamePad controller, so you'll never forget you're actually in your living room. Additionally, the television screen can show which direction you are oriented in via a Mii, and you can orient the Wii U GamePad in landscape and portrait-style directions to take a better look at your surroundings. At the end of your tour through a magical, exotic location, you'll be shown the top three places at which you've focused your attention! That way, you can experience the magic all over again!

Picture of the Eiffel Tower, Mt. Fuji, and a woman's cleavage in a bikini top.

Obviously, the last two things were better than the first two.

Wii U™ Panorama View (working title) would be incomplete without a social experience. That's why you can record your visual journey for later watches, or to share the adventure with friends and family! Not only that, but the recorded video can be played on both the TV and the Wii U GamePad so everyone can see it.

Nintendo made a risky move in announcing Wii U™ Panorama View (working title) for the Wii U. With such a behemoth of a title on the way, the remaining portion of the Wii U's launch line-up is destined to have its sales cannibalized. When Wii U™ Panorama View (working title) is released in Holiday 2012, the whole world's head will turn and take notice. Preorder your copy now, so you won't your children, spouses, siblings, or parents won't have to unwrap bad news on Christmas day.

This was a bit of tongue-in-cheek fun. PixlBit has not had an opportunity to demo this game, but we couldn't pass up the opportunity to poke fun at such a ridiculous piece of software!



Nick DiMola Director

06/08/2012 at 07:25 AM

Game of the show, hands down. Day one purchase for me.

Jason Ross Senior Editor

06/08/2012 at 03:11 PM

I've reserved six copies already. Two from Amazon, two from GameStop, and two from Best Buy. I don't trust just one retailer to bring me the game I want, and I need two copies to keep one in pristine condition.


06/08/2012 at 04:09 PM

There's a picture of huge boobs in this preview. That is neat. There's also two ducks in a cup. I'm intrigued.

Jason Ross Senior Editor

06/09/2012 at 12:38 AM

By the way, if I had things my way, there would be an age gate on this. It wouldn't say why, it wouldn't say what's inside. It would just be there. Without any cookies. So every time you view this article, you'd be asked to put in your birth month and year. Just because. Trust me, it tricks all those kids from watching trailers from M-rated games. They wouldn't dare lie about their own ages!

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