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Reviews

Ah! Heaven Review

The debate about the existence of Purgatory has been resolved! You can experience it yourself for an affordable 200 DSi Shop Points.

Boy, since jumping in video games is a lot of fun, it’s gotta be really great to play a whole game that lets you just jump, jump, jump all the way to Heaven!  Ducking? Pshhhhh.  Shooting?  Lame.  Variety?  Pass.  All we want is that sweet, sweet jumping!  These and other idiotic statements must have been scrawled down during some malformed focus group of imbeciles when the developers of Ah! Heaven were doing preliminary planning for their amazingly boring platformer.

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Retro Pocket Review

Classic games come boop-boop-booping their way onto DSiWare.

If you have fond memories of lazy Saturdays taking turns with a friend’s Game & Watch, the possibilities for recreating those experiences have been pretty sparse in the last decade. Today, the primary way to get your hands on LCD-style games is through Nintendo’s own Game & Watch collections for the DS and, strangely, in this summer’s Deadlight on XBLA. Outside of those cases, though, the LCD game is essentially dead.  Or so it seemed, until Retro Pocket swooped onto DSiWare and packed several Saturday afternoons’ worth of LCD-style games into a package that will have some peering over the top of their sunglasses to take in something so rad.

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Commando: Steel Disaster Review

A fun romp found in the seedy dark corners of the arcade.

Can you remember being at the arcade and spying a strange Franken-cabinet offering a game you’d never seen before?  Perhaps a black spray-painted Pac-Man with a generic marquee above the screen with a name you’d never heard of and would never remember. You peered into the screen despite the bland trappings and ended up spending a wonderful afternoon trying to conquer a B-tier action game you would quickly forget. This is certainly not an experience Cinemax was trying to recreate with Commando: Steel Disaster, but it’s what they’ve done and I love them for it.

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99Seconds Review

A simple game is not a classic game.

The trend of retro style games the last several years is something I can normally support, at least when game makers actually figure out how to capture what made old games so great.  99Seconds tries to harness the magic that kept early gamers rolling quarters into cabinets, constantly vying to get their name in the top ten.  Although 99Seconds appears to be on to something at first, spending time with the game reveals that there is no real hook and it fails to instill the desire to wear your thumb raw for the sake of a high score.

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Paul's Shooting Adventure 2 Review

Somebody made a boom-boom and is selling it on DSi Ware.

In Paul’s Shooting Adventure 2, there are large bees that throw dog piles at you. Yes, the kind of dog piles you are thinking of: poop. It’s an appropriate weapon for a game that could double as lawn fertilizer.

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Ivy the Kiwi? Review

Yuji Naka and Prope deliver solid gameplay with an incredibly charming presentation.

Prope, founded by Sonic creator, Yuji Naka, is quickly becoming know for their low budget, simplistic games on the Wii. They originally came to market with the quirky Let's Tap, and its equally weird brother, Let's Catch. Since then, Naka had a son and was subsequently inspired to produce a game that would appeal to the toddler. The result of that effort is the undeniably cute, Ivy the Kiwi?.

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AlphaBounce Review

An ambitious Arkanoid clone that is riddled with technical issues.

One of the oldest concepts of gaming is the "ball-and-bat" genre that was popularized by both Breakout and Arkanoid. The titles originally appeared in Arcade form and eventually made their way to home consoles when they became available. In modern gaming, many titles have spun-off from these pioneers, with AlphaBounce being the latest. The Arkanoid-like game features thousands of levels and an RPG element, mixing up the root formula introduced over-three decades ago.

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Soul of Darkness Review

The latest from Gameloft is a surprisingly adept Castlevania clone.

Soul of Darkness is the latest mobile to DSiWare port from Gameloft, which can most easily be described as a shameless Castlevania rip-off. If you spend a few minutes with the game, you will see that it features similar character art, gameplay, graphics, and sound to the famous Konami franchise. The game does incorporate some arbitrary use of the system's cameras, which sets the game apart to some degree.

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Earthworm Jim Review

A disappointing port of a great game.

When Earthworm Jim initially launched in 1994 it was lauded for its great gameplay and surreal level and character designs. 16 years later, Gameloft has ported Earthworm Jim to DSiWare and while the game is mostly faithful to the Sega Genesis and SNES versions, it unfortunately features many technical faults, which makes this version disappointing and inferior to the original versions.

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Link 'n' Launch Review

A unique puzzle title blasts off!

Intelligent Systems is well known for their Fire Emblem, Advance Wars, and Paper Mario series, but as it turns it out, they are quite capable of producing many different types of lower budget games. Puzzle games are one of the more familiar genres for these types of games for the company, and Link 'n' Launch is their latest. The DSiWare title is a solid and unique puzzle title with elements that aren't very common for the genre.

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