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PixlBit Presents: Sh*tty Game Review Fest 2014

Come see four PixlBit staff members unbox their crappy games on video!

Sometimes it's necessary in life to shake things up. The fact is, the PixlBit writers seem to have it too good, so Chessa and I (but mostly Chessa) concocted a little event for our own amusement. Rather than allow our writers to continue to cover the things they love, we've decided to force upon them the junk games that have been sitting around PixlBit HQ for ages.

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Tour de 64: Dual Heroes

Insert obvious “dual zeroes” pun

The Nintendo 64 wasn't really known for fighting games. Just as well, I don't really like them and am particularly rubbish at them as a result. There were a decent number of them released, unfortunately for me, as I will have the (dis)pleasure of trying them all. Dual Heroes advertises a couple of gimmicks such as training a robot to battle virtual gamers, maybe that will make this one more interesting...

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Dark Souls II Survival Guide For Absolute Noobz

Let's try not to die (too often).

If you plan to venture through the lands of Dark Souls II, you’d best be prepared with the reflexes of a tiger and the survival skills of a Cub Scout troop leader. The adventure won’t be easy, but it can be made bearable with a few tips and tricks from the grandmaster himself (which is me, if you didn’t know). Throughout this gratuitously grandiose guide, I’ll be giving a few tips based on the environment and exploration, combat, items and item management, and online portions of the game, so grab a nice blanket and get comfortable, because this is going to be one hell of a ride!

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Tour de 64: Dr. Mario 64

I sure hope those aren't the same gloves used to unclog sinks...

As one of the final games released for the system, Dr. Mario 64 was a budget-priced title. Introducing a couple new game modes and a 4-player option, it was the definitive version of Dr. Mario for the time and remains a solid entry in the series.

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Tour de 64: DooM 64

DooM 64 is the real DooM 3.

Though it wasn't the first of its kind, the original DooM is often credited as the game that popularized the first-person shooter. With detailed graphics for the time, heaps of ugly baddies, a handful of cool weapons, and endlessly challenging gameplay, it's no wonder it was a hit. Despite a slower gameplay pace than the previous PC games, DooM 64 is a worthy followup and an enjoyable run 'n gun shooter in its own right. For better or worse, they don't make 'em like this anymore.

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Tour de 64: Donald Duck Goin' Quackers

The Canadian version is Goin' Quakers

Licenced games can be a real crapshoot, but surprisingly enough, this one didn't make me go quackers. I'm not very familiar with Disney or Donald Duck in particular, but this game turned out to be decent enough by its own merits.

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Tour de 64: Donkey Kong 64

Donkey Kong's finally back, and so is the Tour de 64

Hot off the heels of Banjo-Kazooie, Donkey Kong 64 was Rareware's second platform adventure on the Nintendo 64. Requiring use of the Expansion Pak accessory, the game promised to not only ape Super Mario 64, but provide a bigger, prettier adventure. With five characters, huge worlds, and hundreds of collectables, there's a lot packed into this little cartridge, but that also unfortunately becomes its downfall. This would typically be the point where some crack would be inserted about driving the player bananas, but this article is 100% guaranteed to be free of all monkey-related puns. Honest.

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Personal Picks for GOTY 2013

Winners in our hearts.

Voting is a funny thing. It’s hard to argue with addition, but there are plenty of instances where some of the staff thought a title or two got overlooked. Even though our GOTY 2013 article used some inarguable mathematics to come to the PixlBit staff’s consensus opinion, some of us thought there were games that should have gotten a few more votes. To highlight some of the games that each of us took a particular shine to in 2013, we present our staff’s personal picks that didn’t make the cut. 

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PixlBit's 2013 Games of the Year

Our staff's best games of 2013!

Video games had an exceptional year in 2013, with tiny indie teams getting attention for their creativity, and the usual budget behemoths stealing national headlines for their record-breaking sales. Two new consoles also hit the scene right at the end with a few titles that did their best to break into our top five.

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Developer for Upcoming NES Release, Armed for Battle, Answers Our Questions

Time to replace that 72-pin connector.

If you’ve still got an NES kicking around your entertainment center, chances are it’s been a long time since it’s had a brand new cartridge popped in. Lucky for you and your forlorn, reliable console, there’s a fresh game slated for release early next year. Although there have been a smattering of games released for the NES recently, Armed for Battle is pretty unique. Not only was the project put together by a solitary programmer, but Frank Westphal is giving us something the king of ‘80s consoles never had before: a real time strategy game. Frank was nice enough to take some questions about his development process, his game, and what he expects from Armed for Battle.  Budding homebrew developers and fans of the NES will learn a lot from my conversation with Frank.

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