5 Things I'd Rather Do Than Play A New Assassin's Creed

On 03/02/2013 at 10:53 PM by Casey Curran

So Assassin's Creed: Black Flag has been announced. All of you people from 1up know how much I hated the last one and instead of rehash that on Pixlbit, I thought I'd show another way how much I hate that game. So here are five things that I would rather do, each of them worse than the last one.

5. Play Mass Effect 3 without importing

THEY NEVER EVEN LET HIM OUT OF THE TANK!!!

As most of you know, Mass Effect is my favorite series. The thing is that the series only works as a trilogy, it's a story of your Shepard completing three very difficult missions that test her capabilities, each more brutal than the last. Take this away and you have a game that feels hollow. Not only are some of the game's best parts gone if you don't import, but it feels like Bioware deliberately tried to give you the worst Mass Effect 3 experience possible if you did not import. It's still Mass Effect 3, but good God why don't they just make the game unable to start unless you have a ME2 file?

4. Play Borderlands by myself

WHO DOES THIS???

Borderlands is a co-op game and should only be played co-op. There's no pacing, there's no smart enemy placement, it only exists for you to get more loot with a group of friends. The mere thought of having to do this by myself just sounds horrible. I'm not sure if I could take it.

3. Play One Round of Dead Space 2 Multiplayer

DAMN YOU EA AND YOUR MULTIPLAYER DEMANDS!!!

The reason I give one round is because I'm not sure if I can take more than that. I mean, both are ungodly abominations, but the thought of playing Dead Space 2 multiplayer more than once just sounds horrible. It may be the worst multiplayer in a AAA game.

2. Platinum an Uncharted game without a guide

THERE'S 100 OF THESE HIDDEN AROUND!!!

Have you ever checked the trophy lists to these games? They ask you to get every treasure. That means scouring every single level for every single possible location to get all these treasures that are hidden around. Then if you miss one upon completing the level, you'll have to do it all over again. I love Uncharted 2, but no way I'm doing that.

1. Drive across all of Liberty City in Grand Theft Auto 4

HEY NIKO WANT TO PLAY DARTS? FUCK YOU ROMAN!!!

There is one thing I remember more than anything else about Grand Theft Auto 4: driving was horrible. It was at the point where the only way I could get to anywhere without crashing into everything would be to drive at the speed limit, stop until I have the right of way, and obey all traffic laws. You know, the way I have to drive in real life! I hate driving in real life! I want to run over 20 people in 5 seconds if I'm playing GTA. So the mere thought of driving across the entire city just sounds like one of the worst ways to spend my time. One of the worst without playing the next Assassin's Creed that is.

Aboboisdaman

03/02/2013 at 10:59 PM

I actually did play Borderlands by myself lol. Maybe that's why I didn't like it? It was boring as hell. I tried playing online with random people and that didn't work out. I liked GTA 4 somewhat, but the driving was absolutely horrible. They made it far too realistic, and it sucked all the fun out of it.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

03/02/2013 at 11:36 PM

Borderlands is fine with a few buddies you know, it's just there's no reason to play it if you don't have that.

Patrick Kijek Contributing Writer

03/02/2013 at 11:25 PM

Funny, I always try playing Uncharted without a guide the first two times through, at least. Then I clean up the rest of the treasures with a video showing me the 10 or so that I missed. A couple in each game are just unbelievable, looking up and to the side in a random crevice where you have to shoot it from far away. Shaking my head, I'd have to run some people over after that.

Fun list, Greenman.

03/02/2013 at 11:37 PM

I miss way too many to be able to get 90 or so on two tries. Would take three or four to get that many. And the only UC game I like enough to play that much is 2.

Super Step Contributing Writer

I only played an AC game once; I got bored, and asked that we pop Street Fighter II: Turbo back in. As far as I'm concerned, that was the right decision.

03/02/2013 at 11:38 PM

AC2 is still all kinds of awesome, it's just 3 ruined the series for me.

03/03/2013 at 12:03 AM

I think it might have been AC2 that I played actually, but not for long, so I'll take your word for it.

03/03/2013 at 12:22 AM

It's not really fair to judge one of these games based off a couple minutes since they're meant to be played in longer bursts.

03/03/2013 at 12:25 AM

That's why I said I'd take your word for it. Might have been in a boring part, whatever, I just wanted to go back to SF.

03/03/2013 at 12:52 AM

Well, I'm just saying there's some games you can judge just on playing once like Street Fighter and others you have to play longer to judge like Assassin's Creed.

03/03/2013 at 12:57 AM

Not disagreeing, I just tend to prefer games I can pick up and get into right away in general.

I've given JRPGs very fair shakes, as in logged hours into them, but they're just not my thing, and I'm not always willing to log hours in to find out something is just not my thing, especially if it's a long work week.

If I get another chance, I'll try again for longer, but that doesn't guarantee I'll enjoy it.

03/03/2013 at 01:00 AM

Well, if that's the case, why come to trash this series in the beginning?

03/03/2013 at 01:32 AM

I didn't trash it, I just said I played a few minutes, didn't enjoy it, and felt fine with putting another game back in since I didn't enjoy it.

I stated an opinion that wasn't in line with yours, that's not the same as trashing something; I literally typed two sentences, saying I just preferred another game at the time.

03/03/2013 at 01:39 AM

It's not that you disagre. Whether you think "I think I made the right call" isn't trashing it, you do see how it could be seen as that, correct? Honestly, I don't really care whether you like this series. It was more, what was the point of that comment? If you don't really have anything to add, why add anything at all?

03/03/2013 at 01:47 AM

I played a few minutes, and didn't like it, so I said so, and an entry in the series was mentioned in a negative light in your blog, so I just said "yeah, I didn't like what I've played of the series, either.". Then you said there were a few games you can't judge after playing only a few minutes, I offered you an olive branch and said that was fair because I hadn't played much of the game.

You mentioned a series, I commented on my experiences with it. That's it! You're taking this a bit more seriously than it needs to be taken. It was a comment about a game you mentioned I didn't happen to enjoy. I'm not getting why it's such a huge deal.

03/03/2013 at 01:55 AM

Here's an idea: You don't need to reply to everything I say. If you just ended it at the second comment we wouldn't be here. It's not a big deal to me, you're just leaving replies that are getting kind of annoying.

03/03/2013 at 02:01 AM

Oh for God's sake, I replied because you replied to me, and I just wanted to clarify that it may have been AC2, and I didn't disagree with some of your points. Frankly, I'm annoyed as well,and you could have ended it when I said I'd take your word for it.

Whatever, we disagree. Moving on.

03/03/2013 at 02:11 AM

You could have just as easily ended it with me on my second reply.

Joaquim Mira Media Manager

03/03/2013 at 09:46 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Coolsetzer

03/04/2013 at 02:00 PM

LOL. What are you laughing about?!

03/04/2013 at 02:09 PM

It's a Stalactite!

03/04/2013 at 02:21 PM

=-O

No waii!

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/02/2013 at 11:52 PM

I only play the borderlands games by myself, because fuck other people. The first one was terrible, but the second one is managable.

I'm other people! I take offense to that!

03/03/2013 at 06:42 AM

Greenman, you are many things, but people isnt one of them.

03/03/2013 at 12:13 AM

I played the first Borderlands all the way through by myself. Even the DLC. Twice... I think LOL.

If the new AC game does indeed come out in October I think I will be buying/playing games that I would rather spend "my little budget that could" on.

I couldn't stand playing it solo.

TripOpt55

03/03/2013 at 01:56 AM

I tried playing Borderlands by myself and it really lost its luster quickly. I did get all those Uncharted treasures without a guide. You know what was the worst part though. The first game didn't tell you which chapters you were missing them in.

03/03/2013 at 01:58 AM

No chapter guide?

Matt Snee Staff Writer

03/03/2013 at 01:59 AM

after reading your other AC3 blogs, I imagined these alternatives would be much much worse

03/03/2013 at 02:12 AM

Here's what I want you to do: Go get every platinum trophy in every Uncharted game and tell me, "Yeah, that wasn't so bad."

03/03/2013 at 11:23 AM

here's what I want YOU to do: go find a dictionary, and look up the word "joke." Then, come back when your personality stops malfunctioning and you can leave sensible comments like an adult.

03/03/2013 at 02:58 PM

A little hostile are we? The internet's a terrible place to read sarcasm,so I wasn't sure. Didn't think you'd be bothered by that comment either way so sorry if you took offense

transmet2033

03/03/2013 at 04:55 AM

I played mass effect 2 without importing on the ps3. shortly after I beat it I bought an Xbox and a copy of the first game.

03/03/2013 at 02:59 PM

That was a smart move

Pollak

03/03/2013 at 11:07 AM

I'm with you but not for the same reasons as I didn't hate AC3 (just its god awful ending). Personally I think the series has lost focus (especially story wise) and could use a break to regroup.

03/03/2013 at 03:02 PM

I think they're going to burn it out soon and next gen AC will be failing at every turn to relive their glory days. Pity, it had a lot of potential.

avidacridjam

03/04/2013 at 01:28 PM

Oddly enough, AC3 has its fans. Enough people picked that as the best PS3 game on PSN last week. I guess walking/running into cutscenes is a popular pastime these days.

PixlBit

5 Things I'd Rather Do Than Play A New Assassin's Creed

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