
Opening Match: Mario is too busy getting busy with Peach and possibly Pauline, so he literally phones it in. As in, he phones the ring and tells them to declare him the winner. Which they do. Chrono Cross resigns itself to a consolation prize of a night for one at the Desert Sands Motel in Stanfield, Arizona, where it has only the company of a 1974 issue of Playboy and the smell of the Stanfield stockyards.
Closing Match: Ched Quest is doing well, but Tetris gets a Tetris. The resulting block explosion squashes Chex Quest into the ceiling. Chex Quest sounds surprisingly like Doomguy when he dies.