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Birthday Reviews!


On 09/15/2016 at 10:59 PM by Cary Woodham

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Hey everybody!  Guess what today (September 15) is?  It’s my birthday!  And it’s a big one, too, as I’m now 40 years old!  So click and read this blog for some birthday fun!  Also, even though it’s my birthday, the presents are for YOU!  I’ve got more game reviews I’ve recently posted at GamerDad.com!  Yeah, just what you wanted, right?

But even though it’s my birthday, I can’t help but feel a little sad about turning 40.  I’m not worried about getting old right now.  Heck, I don’t feel or look old at all.  I had someone at work tell me the other day that I looked 19 years old.  While I don’t think I look THAT young, since I work out and don’t eat like crap, I feel and look just as good as I did when I was in my 20s.  And I have had people say I look very fit, so I don’t think it’s just my imagination either.  I’m actually more worried about others getting old, not me!

But what does make me a little sad about turning 40 is I haven’t done a lot of things that other people in their 40s are ‘supposed’ to do or have done already.  I don’t have a house or a family to be in charge of.  I don’t have a successful career.  I’m not married (my social life is atrocious) and I don’t have any kids.  And my circle of friends that I can do stuff with just keeps getting smaller and smaller (it’s nearly non-existent, really).  I feel like I’m going backwards in life, not forward.

Now I will admit that the reason why things are this way is partially my fault.  There are some things I could certainly do better at.  But there are some aspects that are out of my control and aren’t my fault.  For instance, my disability of being blind in my left eye makes it very difficult or impossible for me to do some things.  Like drive a car and get around.  When I was a kid, I used to think that as I got older, my disability wouldn’t be as much of a problem.  But it’s actually gotten worse (not my disability, but the problems associated with it).  And another thing I’ve noticed is that it’s harder to get friends and family to get together and do things.  I don’t know if it’s because people are so busy nowadays, or it’s just part of getting older.  It just seems like everyone I know is so self-absorbed in their own little world and they don’t want to reach out to others as often.  It would be nice if I could be more of a priority in certain peoples’ lives, not all the time, just ever now and then.

Anyway, sorry for being so whiny and complaining about stuff that’s probably just part of life.  But I do think I have a right to be sad about it, at least just a little bit.  So for my birthday, I could use some cheering up.  So we’re going to play a silly little game here on this blog.  Yeah it’s the same thing I do every year.  In the comments section, please give me a pretend birthday present.  It can be anything you want, and it won’t cost you a dime.  It’s the thought that counts…literally!

OK, now onto the game reviews.  Please read as many as you can and maybe even post a comment or two.  I’d appreciate it.  Thanks for reading!

Gotta Protectors (3DS)

In the last console generation, my favorite game console was the Xbox 360.  I even liked it better than the Wii, and knowing how big of a Nintendo fan I am, that’s saying something!  One cool thing about the 360 is that small indie game developers could make games you could download in their indie section.  Most of these games were very amateurish and not very good, but there were a few standouts.  One was Protect Me Knight.  It was an 8-bit styled arcade action game with tower defense elements.  It was made by Ancient, a Japanese game developer headed by famed game composer Yuzo Koshiro (Streets of Rage, ActRaiser, etc.).

Sadly, I don’t think too many people played Protect Me Knight.  But the good news is there is a sequel you can download on the 3DS, and it’s called Gotta Protectors.  And it’s AWESOME!  Up to four can play at the same time locally, and the good thing is that only one person needs a copy of the game on their 3DS to play!  It’s still made by Ancient and Yuzo Koshiro did the music, so you know it’s good.  The game also has high production values and you can make your own maps now!  And it’s full of humor.  Just to show an example of that, the game’s intro has its own 8-bit theme with printed lyrics.  Here are the words in the intro:

When the land is out of hand

You gotta call the pros

Slackers with a knack for danger

Gotta Protectors, Go!

In the rough, they get buff

By Princess Lola’s side

Against evil hordes

They pit their swords

Or axe (Whatever, guys!).

Role play? No way!

They’re for real, like human steel!

Evil can’t take away their game

They’re too lame already!

Gotta Protectors, Go!

Unite and save the day

In your weird way!

With your powers aligned

And Princess Lola leading the fight

You can fly (metaphorically)

Propelled by Lola’s bloodcurdling scream!

Gotta Protect

Armed to the neck

Ready to trek

Protectors, Go!

Pokémon: The Trading Card Game Mythical Pokémon Collections and Steam Siege Booster Packs

When I was in college and writing for The Dallas Morning News, I was writing Pokémon articles left and right when it first got popular.  I like to say that Pokémon helped pay my way through college.  I even covered Pokémon card game tournaments, and learned how to play the card game just so I could write about it better.  I really didn’t like the card game much, though.  I felt like having to use energy cards to perform moves slowed the game down a bit.  Me personally, my favorite card battle game is SNK vs. Capcom: Card Fighters Clash on the Neo Geo Pocket Color.

Anyway, recently PR reps from The Pokémon Company offered me some new themed Pokémon card packs to review, and due to the upcoming Sun & Moon games coming out, and the resurgence in popularity thanks to Pokémon GO, I decided to take them up on that offer and review the cards.  Plus, it gave me the opportunity to explain why I haven’t reviewed Pokémon GO at GamerDad.com.  I’ll reprint that part of the article here, too, as I’m sure you’re all curious as well.

Why I’m not playing Pokémon GO.

So you may be wondering, if I’m such a Pokémon expert, why haven’t I played and reviewed Pokémon GO yet?  Well there’s lots of reasons.  First, I share my phone data plan with my family and I don’t want Pokémon GO to suck up all the data that they could use.  Plus, my phone is rather old and may not be able to run it very well.  I hear it drains the battery quickly and I use my phone a lot where I work so I need it to be charged all the time.  And finally I hear the game is pretty buggy anyway.

There’s another reason why I’m not playing it right now.  I’ve been blind in my left eye since birth and can’t drive a car, so I don’t get out and about as often as others.  I do walk a lot, but I don’t think I go far enough to really make use of the app.  Also, with my limited vision, when I go outside I don’t like to have my nose buried in my cell phone.  I like to be extra aware of my surroundings, since I don’t see as well.  I still MIGHT download Pokémon GO someday, but right now I just don’t feel comfortable playing it.

But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad game.  Aside from the bugs and safety issues, I think it’s a neat idea, and could even be a good game to play as a family.  Just as long as everyone stays safe and remembers that sometimes it’s OK to go outside and not have their faces shoved in a cell phone.

Eraser (iPad)

Sorry folks, the rest of these games are just piddly iPad fare.  The first two here are kind of interesting in that they are free-to-play games, but there are no in-game ads or purchases.  Instead, there is an option where you can choose to donate money to the developers.  This first one is actually pretty decent.  It may look like a continuous runner, but you use your finger to erase blocks, strings, and obstacles to give your little man a safe path to the end.  And the stages aren’t randomly generated either, so it’s more like a puzzle game.  The premise of the game is kind of interesting, too.  A man is working hard on a blueprint, and falls asleep and dreams he is in the blueprint and is being chased by a giant red marker!  Because of the blueprint theme and physics-based puzzles, this game reminds me of one I used to play a lot a long time ago as a kid called The Incredible Machine.  Anyone remember that one?  Anyway, I could see this game being worth donating money to.

Gleam: Last Light (iPad)

Unfortunately, this next game is NOT worth donating towards.  It’s awful.  In the game, a plant is at the bottom of a chasm, and you must use your finger to slice bits of crystals off the sides of cliffs so that light can reflect on them at certain angles so that the light falls on the plant.  You must also make sure the crystal bits you slice off don’t hit the jar that houses the plant either.  It’s harder than it sounds and get frustrating by the third level.

Dots & Co. (iPad)

This is a really creative take on match three puzzles, and the music is very soothing, too.  Unfortunately, free-to-play mechanics get in the way later in the game when it gets way too hard unless you buy power-ups.

Rooms of Doom (iPad)

In this one, you play as a mad scientist who creates minions, then sends them on obstacle courses to test them out.  Each room in the obstacle course mimics a familiar 2-D platforming challenge, usually found in other games.  Like barrel blasting and mine carting in Donkey Kong Country, flying around pillars like in Flappy Bird, etc.  The buggy and choppy gameplay keep this one from becoming very playable, though.

Flying Slime (iPad)

And finally, in this game you are a slime creature and you must tap on the screen to make it send forth a tentacle strand thing that’ll latch onto stuff so you can swing around and make it to a goal.  It gets too hard too quickly and doesn’t do anything better than the many other games on the App store that have the same gimmick.

Thanks for reading!

And that’s all for now!  I really appreciate you all reading my reviewing and posting comments, and giving me pretend birthday presents!  Later!  --Cary


 

Comments

KnightDriver

09/16/2016 at 12:33 AM

I feel very much the same. But such is the way things go. Not everyone has to be the same at 40. 

I played some Protect Me Knight and really liked it. I'll try Gotta Protectors sometime. 

Happy Birthday!

dgb

Here's a pre-order for Dragon Quest Builders where you're entered into a contest to win a PS4. 

Cary Woodham

09/16/2016 at 12:02 PM

Problem with turning 40 and not being the same is people look at you weird.

DQ Builders looks right up your alley, I think.  I may be having to get a PS4 in the next few months.

KnightDriver

09/17/2016 at 12:51 PM

I definitely feel weird, but then I've always been that Kid in the Hall, the outsider. 

I'm so excited for DQ Builders. I had extra money from trading in stuff for DQVII so I preordered it. My only regret is that my friend Mark doesn't have a PS4 and can't play it with me. He's a fan of DQ as well. 

Cary Woodham

09/18/2016 at 08:54 PM

Yeah with DQ Builders, World of Final Fantasy, and Pac-Man Championship Edition 2 coming out, it may be time for me to get a PS4.

VisuaLIES

09/16/2016 at 09:08 AM

Happy Birthday!  I think we previously established that we were around the same age when we were talking about the summer of Michael Keaton's Batman, and indeed I will be turning 40 in a few weeks on Oct 8, so I know exactly where you're coming from.  I look like I'm in my mid/late 20s, and I don't really feel any more mature than when I got out of college.  I do have a wife and 4 year old son, so we are different there, but I am not where I thought I'd be career-wise, and it was really stressing me out.  As you probably know, I love to draw, and I always thought I'd be a professional artist (I also thought this would happen during my 20s lol), but for many reasons--being lackadaisical, money, insecurity about my work, I never promoted myself as well as I should have or worked hard enough to get better.  I recently reduced my position at work to give myself more time to work on my art career, but it takes a lot of time to establish a business, so I'm still working at it.  Turning 40 has given me motivation to do what I want, or at least go all in trying.  So break out of your comfort zone, set goals for what you realistically want to accomplish (hell, set some unrealistic goals) and make a plan.  Beyond that, I don't have much advice.  I will tell you that the whole spending less time with friends is unfortunately a part of getting older.  I don't often have time to hang out with my friends or even call them.  We see each other on our kid's birthday parties or at weddings/funerals, and maybe a couple of other times during the year, but that's it.  It's not that we don't want to hang out, but it's really hard to do with work and children.  But do call them if they are important to you.  They will enjoy talking and catching up I'm sure, and maybe you can arrange a night out or something (we plan everything 2 weeks ahead so I can take off from work and get my mom to babysit lol).  I'd also look into different groups who might share similar interests as you (I recently went to a drink and draw at a local comic book store, where we draw and some of us consume alcohol--it was a great time).  Anyway, good luck and congratulations!

Cary Woodham

09/16/2016 at 12:05 PM

Thanks.  One problem is that a lot of my friends don't have kids and while they may be busy with jobs, I often see them on Facebook talking about doing thiings with other friends.  I do mention doing things with them, but I guess I need to be less subtle.  I guess I should find new friends, but that's really hard to do right now.  Plus it's not just friends, but family that's being that way right now, too.  And you can't get new family!  Life just isn't as much fun for me right now.

KnightDriver

09/17/2016 at 12:53 PM

Hey! We have the same birthday. The great Oct. 8th! I love this time of year! Fall's the best, and October is the best. 

VisuaLIES

09/18/2016 at 12:44 AM

Yeah, fall weather is pretty nice.  This is when work starts to get busy (retail), but still not as bad as nov/dec.  Crazy that we have the same birthday. 

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