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Xbox Illuminati say they're not spying


On 05/29/2013 at 10:45 PM by Super Step

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I say bullshit! Those goddamn lizard men can't have my Oreos.

Nah, they did come out and say you can power it fully down, in response to paranoid things like one of my recent blogs; which was part actual thinking they'd collect marketing data, which I still think they'll do when you're online using the Kinect (although I'd argue I do a good enough job marketing Oreos to myself) and mostly just an opportunity to kick what I think is a humorously failed reveal of a console while said console was down ... on the internet. Real life, pretty sure it'll do just fine. Hell, I'm not totally opposed to buying something that can capture my simulated wire frame sex. Something tells me that'll be a hit on Youtube.

But again .. this statement is only what they want you to think.

In closing, Obama's a Kenyan, Lil Wayne is the devil, and the Sun revolves around the Earth.

But in all seriousness, even without Kinect, they'll definitely be collecting all sorts of creepy data on you when you're online, but so are most other major websites and companies that can, so just remember to be aware of what you post.

Thank you.

 


 

Comments

NSonic79

05/29/2013 at 11:04 PM

jaut the same I'm unplugging the sysyem, like I do with all my systems, just to be sure. that is IF I get it that is. still unsure about playing games naked in front of it. what! it gets hot during the summer in my house....

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/29/2013 at 11:17 PM

I bet you have a sexy wire frame. Wanna come over?

smartcelt

05/29/2013 at 11:07 PM

The real scope of what they can detect with the camera won't be known until the console is out there in homes. If people start getting Ikea ads due to their shitty furniture we will know they see our rooms and judge us! Bronies better watch out. No telling what demographic they will become. I just wonder what they will think of all the bongs that will be detected in gamers hands.

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/29/2013 at 11:25 PM

I kept seeing that it can somehow tell how many people are in the room with that camera. Of course, that's a function of most DVR devices and it is one, so there you go.

And yeah, like I said, they'll be collecting tons of creepy shit when it's on and online, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt with being able to fully turn it off. I'd still unplug at least the ethernet or disable wi-fi or just the system though. Paranoid is a relative term, but I don't think it applies to companies that are in any way able to collect data on you, cause at this point it's a given they will do it. But they can't do much when you're offline, so turning it off entirely is a nice anxiety reducer.

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/29/2013 at 11:40 PM

Also, it's kinda sad how I thought you meant literal bongs at first (I'm slow today). According to Charles Barkley, I just added an inch to my bong by losing 35+ pounds. Damn, now they'll be able to detect it. lol

I'm actually not sure I'm opposed to bronies being spied on. Those fuckers are up to something; I bet they're working on Ikea furniture that will control our minds and turn us all into bronies. God help us all.

Matt Snee Staff Writer

05/30/2013 at 12:21 AM

bong detection is a sign of the New World Order, for sure. 

GamerGirlBritt

05/29/2013 at 11:07 PM

Yeahhhh I think actually knowing it's happening freaks people out more for some reason. Like you said, there's plenty other companies doing the same without you knowing and people are just fine. It's like the "Terms and Conditions" episode of South Park...kinda. Ignorance really is bliss.

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/29/2013 at 11:26 PM

CentiPad can never be unseen.

BrokenH

05/29/2013 at 11:10 PM

Kenyans aren't bad but I have to draw the line at consoles watching me naked and lizard-people stealing my oreos!

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/29/2013 at 11:26 PM

Well, jobs were secretly outsourced to Kenyans to build these consoles, so there you go.

BrokenH

05/30/2013 at 12:27 AM

I thought it was a country-club-orgy-death-cult making the new consoles. Also, something about cigars, saddles, pony people, and butt plugs?

asrealasitgets

05/29/2013 at 11:18 PM

Is it too much to ask for a video game that just let's me use a control to punch-kick-jump things? I don't need all this beam it up Scotty Star Trek bullshit invading my home. 

BrokenH

05/29/2013 at 11:19 PM

Yes you ask for too much. Also remember though you think you are buying games theoretically you are just renting them on lease you unworthy cretin!

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/29/2013 at 11:30 PM

Yeah, that's my biggest annoyance. I mean you could hack the DRM whatever I'm sure, but why do I have to be a criminal to feel like I own a thing I paid for?

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/29/2013 at 11:28 PM

You ask for too little. I would kill for a system that came with a personal Scottish engineer that beamed me into a spaceship.

Nicoleb1989

05/29/2013 at 11:27 PM

This is excatly why I love this place, I come on here and get the laugh i severally needed,lol!

In all seriousness though, It shall be unplugged when I am not playing it whenever I do own one. I dont need them waving food ads in front of me because they know Im a fat chick that likes to eat....lol

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/29/2013 at 11:32 PM

Yeah, I could definitely do without whatever exercising game they come out with for Kinect 2.0 judging me and telling me I need to wear shorts. I'll do my naked cartwheels all I want.

gigantor21

05/29/2013 at 11:44 PM

This whole reveal has been a hilarious shitstorm of epic proportions. :p

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/30/2013 at 12:35 AM

Yes, but will it bite them in the ass in reality world is what I'm still wondering.

KnightDriver

05/30/2013 at 02:50 AM

I've been talking to my Xbox 360 for a while now. It doesn't answer me. Will Xbox One? I need Siri on there telling me my wireframe needs a workout. How else am I going to get off the couch.

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/30/2013 at 07:32 AM

Haven't thought about Siri in a while.

KnightDriver

05/30/2013 at 03:24 PM

I still don't have a smart phone, so when I see a friend use Siri, I get all excited and wish I had one. I really thought Microsoft was going to put something similar into the Xbox One. I guess it'll be a One-way conversation with that device. So behind the times. LOL.

Chris Yarger Community Manager

05/30/2013 at 06:40 AM

Sony and Microsoft have been collecting data on people for years actually. I read an article not too long ago saying that Sony and Microsoft's true intentions behind the 'achievements/trophies' was to gather data about the player.

Whether they were simply seeing who played what or how they played, they were still tracking us. Mostly though, it was just to see if people played online multiplayer more than the single player story-mode so they knew how to divide their focus whenever they were crafting a new game or a sequel.

If I were to guess though, I'd say that games such as Battlefield and Call of Duty completely skewed those statistics, which is why games are suddenly included the unnecessary Multiplayer feature *Cough cough* Tomb Raider *Cough Cough*

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/30/2013 at 07:40 AM

That makes sense and isn't really all that scary intrusive though to be honest. You kind of figure when you use a company's network servers, they know where you go. Which is why I feel very bad for college campuses ... so much unwanted porn.

Well, except the part where they take people playing online a lot to mean that's all anyone wants. Even if that were true, it just doesn't appeal to me.

But hey, that just gives me an opportunity to play nothing but single player so I can skew the numbers. lol So I'm not that concerned about trophy data, but what the camera and mic on that required Kinect can pick up would have me a bit more worried, so glad you can turn it off, and if that fails, unplug it. If I buy one, ever, I mean.

Chris Yarger Community Manager

05/30/2013 at 07:47 AM

I hear ya and I totally agree.. If they want to really sell an Xbox One to me, then they need to reconfigure the system so I can play without a Kinect needing to be hooked up at all times, meaning they need a fucking power button!!

Chunopo

05/30/2013 at 10:35 AM

More technology is advanced the less 'safe' I feel. Microsoft are treating the actual player as the product now, and I know they will have to honor certain limitations with info storage but honestly we live in a time when we really do have to watch our digital backs. The best defence Microsoft have come up with so far is to give such a bull shit press launch for their new system, they won't be able to store more of my data if I don't own one..... unless the new Kinect has legs and kicks down my door!

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/30/2013 at 11:03 AM

Introducing Kinect 2.0: sprouts entire police man uniform, body and mind, invades your homes, and has sex with your cat. In a year or two, people will be ok with that when it's discovered the cat likes it. 

Chunopo

05/30/2013 at 12:54 PM

I knew the cats were in league with Microsoft. Its a cat conspiracy!

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/30/2013 at 01:54 PM

Well, I say good sir, as a previous cat owner myself, of one that did nothing but love and deserves none of the stereotypical judgments he had to face every day, especially as a black cat ... that was pretty funny. lol

Aboboisdaman

05/30/2013 at 11:15 AM

Well, you know my stance on this garbage. I just want some Oreos now lol. Laughing

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/30/2013 at 01:47 PM

Good, gooooood. Come to the creamy center, young Jedi.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

05/30/2013 at 11:44 AM

Yeah... Microsoft aren't going to be stupid enough to post your private life. They aren't stupid enough to watch you in the nude either. I mean people who work there could probably sue them! Pretty sure this is just going to be doing what Google has been doing for ages: Watching what sites we go to, and then trying to give us more porn.

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/30/2013 at 01:50 PM

They might not, but since the Kinect 2.0 can probably be used as a webcam, hackers could get into that fairly easily.

Also, Microsoft has its own personal police force. My tin foil hat told me so.

And it's funny you think it'll give me more porn. I've constantly gotten messages from Google telling me to cut it out when their interns quit from sheer disgust.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

05/30/2013 at 09:00 PM

 Lol. I just get those stupid "meet girls" ads everywhere. I'm on a gaming site, I don't want to meet girls right now!

smartcelt

05/30/2013 at 02:58 PM

If websites pop up selling pictures of naked girls playing games,we'll know something is up. You KNOW some perv is out there right now trying to come up with a plan to do it. And are you trying to tell me that Weezy is the devil? You mean they threw the devil into prison? That's just mean to the other inmates....

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/30/2013 at 04:35 PM

I have photo evidence.

smartcelt

05/31/2013 at 10:51 AM

He's scary even without horns! I bet not one dude gave him an ounce of shit while he was in the joint. Hell,he probably had guys offering to be his bodyguard,hoping to get a job with him once they got out. 

Alex-C25

05/31/2013 at 01:25 AM

This seems fitting....

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/31/2013 at 12:27 PM

Such a good 80s song, with such creepy applications. lol

I wonder if they're currently programming a "man-eater."

Patrick Kijek Contributing Writer

05/31/2013 at 02:46 AM

I say stick your privates right into the Kinect or the PSEye just like I do...while watching the competitor's unboxing videos!

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/31/2013 at 12:23 PM

What interests me about console wars is that ever since I was young and it was Gamecube vs. XBOX, at some point it's mentioned that someone inserts their genitals into one of the products.

Patrick Kijek Contributing Writer

06/02/2013 at 02:03 AM

Or directly next to them, assuming that they'll use the cameras to spy and see your parts.

smartcelt

05/31/2013 at 10:53 AM

You know that if they do start spying on me they will indeed see my nads close up! Patrick has a great idea there.

Super Step Contributing Writer

05/31/2013 at 12:24 PM

Begging the question, how often do you game in that kilt you wore to the Renaissance Faire?Cause they're gonna be pissed when they thought they had found Sharon Stone's house.

smartcelt

06/01/2013 at 06:45 PM

I will give them quite a shock! But I only break out the kilt on special occasions. They will have a unobscured view of my junk.

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