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Stop With The Tomb Raider Praise!


On 03/17/2013 at 09:10 PM by Blake Turner

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 As is the norm at this time of year, a game that is slightly above average has everyone screaming out "GOTY!" and the like. They seem to forget that there is a whole year full of games, and if this piece of shit makes GOTY, we're in for a slow fucking year.

 One of the main praises for this game is that it has a strong female lead. Sure, if you count a completely psychotic sex symbol as strong, then you're absolutely right. However, Lara is seriously not a good role model, nor is she an accomplishment of feminism. For starters, the only thing that seperates her from Nathan Drake is that she screams a lot more, and is a lot more scared than the big male action heroes who don't need to cry. I mean, outside of crying and screaming and being in an incredible amount of pain, she barely has a character. We're supposed to believe that she's gone through this huge transformation by the end because she can shoot people without crying, but she did that at the start of the game. She killed a dude who was getting frisky with her and started crying over it, only to start killing off his friends with the precision of Lee Harvey Oswald. SHE DOESN'T EVEN WINCE! I mean this bitch is completely psychotic. After she gets upset over killing a moose, she kills about a thousand animals for what is basically the game's currency. So not only is she a psychotic bitch, she's also an avid hater of anything that isn't human.

 Oh, and she's still a sex symbol, the game is just less subtle about it. They seem to use every excuse keep her wet so that top clings to her skin as tightly as possible, everytime she walks through a narrow passage we get a lovely closeup of her ass, and I've counted at least 7 times where a camera has given us a look down her cleavage in a cutscene.

 This is without mentioning that the first hour and a half holds your fucking hand more than the first 20 hours of FFXIII. At least that game let me walk for more than 5 seconds before interrupting me with a cutscene. And in the first 3 hours of this game, I swear to god there were more quick time events than the entire of Resident Evil 6. To take someone out silently you have to do a quicktime event. What's fucking silent about smashing the keys a million times per second?

 Anyway, I'll concede that this is a decent game, but it's hardly brilliant, or mindblowing. It's definitely not game of the year material, that's for damn sure.


 

Comments

True Gamer At Heart

03/17/2013 at 09:16 PM

If you don't mind..What do you think will be the game of the year?? I have yet to play Tomb Raider..The new one anyway.. What do you think will a game better than this??

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 09:20 PM

My point was that it was far too early to judge the game of the year. It's march for Christ's sake. Devil May Cry and Dead Space 3 have both been more enjoyable than this.

Jon Lewis Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 09:19 PM

Sorry that I enjoyed the game. Do I consider it a contender for GoTY? Definitely. Will it be GoTY? Maybe not, but it def is one of the best games I've played so far this year. Was it perfect, no. But it was fun, and enjoyable. I'll continue to praise it because I feel other people should experience it. Nuff said. I understand others dont feel the same, and thats fine. But everyones entitled to their own opinion. 

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 09:22 PM

Don't apologise for enjoying the game. The point I was trying to make is the game isn't perfect. I enjoyed my time with it, but I don't think it was the amazing experience everyone was claiming it was. Another thing is that it is MARCH! How can we determine what the goty will be in the third month of the year? Also, sorry if I come off as grumpier than usual. I am quite sick atm.

Jon Lewis Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 09:44 PM

I feel you. I totally agree that it is early in the year and there are too many great games on the horizon to mark Tomb Raider up so high, but I think its definitely in the running along with games like DmC and Dead Space 3, and even Fire Emblem imo. Of course once the heavy hitters start to come out, things will change. Bioshock Infinite, The Last of Us, GTA V, Saints Row 4, and the new Mario Wii U title are just a handful of games that will likely take top honors by years end but its still safe to say that TR impressed a lot of people and will at least be brought up in conversation by some.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 09:58 PM

It definitely did a lot of things right. It just did some things really wrong as well. I really hate the whole cinematic direction games are going, so I tend to be against games with an over abundance of QTEs or too many cutscenes.

 But yeah, still, glad you enjoyed it. It felt like a mix of RE5 and Uncharted to me, which was a nice mix. The gameplay was quite compelling when exposition wasn't being shoved down my throat lol.

Jon Lewis Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 11:23 PM

I guess part of why I liked it so much was because I went into it with no expectations really. I wasn't even considering trying the game until about a week before when the reviews started coming in. The QTE's were really dumb, i admit, along with the exaggerated violence and flat supporting cast but the game was just fun. I felt a good mix of linearity and freedom to explore. Not to mention the cover system is pretty great.  I do also agree that hearing about a game too much can lower its appeal. My brother marathoned Kingdom Hearts when i was trying to take my time with it, and it made me sick of the game. I want to try it again now, but seeing it so much kinda took me out of the mood to play it, so I see how that can have an effect. 

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 11:59 PM

Nah, I bought it day 1 because I had a four thousand dollar scholarship, and I'd never bought a game day 1 before, apart from Dark Souls. And Skyrim. And Heart of the Swarm. Ok, I'd bought a few, but that's irrelevant.

 Anyway, I really do love the cover system, that is a great feature. I don't know, maybe we're just different types of gamers. I hate "cinematic gameplay." The worst game of this gen for me is MGS4, because it goes against the medium itself. Gameplay is the most important part of any game, and when it is constantly interrupted, I just cannot enjoy it.

Super Step Contributing Writer

03/17/2013 at 10:09 PM

I haven't played it, so can't speak to its quality (though QTE hell doesn't sound fun) but if someone does enjoy it, I'll agree that "GoTY SO FAR" is a more accurate descriptor. Hype tends to get overblown in a slow season; it very well could end up being their personal favorite, but wait a bit before throwing hyperbolies around, I agree.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 12:03 AM

I'd recommend playing. Don't go in thinking it's the greatest thing ever though.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 10:42 PM

I still really want to play it, but playing Anniversary before was a bad idea. Everything I've heard about the platforming makes it sound better than Uncharted's, but still too basic. Calling it GOTY is ridiculous when games like Destiny, Watch Dogs, Saints Row 4, Last of Us, and a lot more are still on the horizon.

My GOTY so far is actually the Citadel DLC for Mass Effect 3.  I know, I'm a fanboy.

Jon Lewis Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 11:24 PM

You know, Im not even mad at you for that, cant be: Citadel was amazing. Those last few lines man...THE FEELS!!!

Casey Curran Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 12:01 AM

Citadel deserves my GOTY just for drunk Grunt. I was dying when he crouching in the corner of the shower.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 12:01 AM

Saints Row 4 could be amazing. Especially if they flesh it out a bit more. That was the one thing I hated about 3, that the world felt empty and gutted.

 The actual gameplay is better than uncharted, both the combat and platforming is stronger. However, you have more control over uncharted.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 12:08 AM

Yeah, I had a blast with SR3, but the world was a little barren. I still had fun because of how many ridiculous vehicles and weapons there were, but the story missions were what made me love it. I think it was an effect of a new engine though, now that they'll try fleshing it out more since they have more experience. But really, it's the superpowers that excite me the most. Looks like what I wanted Infamous to be.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 12:29 AM

I think they should change the title of SR4 to Prototype 2: The not shit edition.

Machocruz

03/17/2013 at 11:19 PM

Heh, was just thinking this myself. I wouldn't even say it's above average. Game offers no challenge, game mechanics and story are at odds with each other, the optional tombs in this Tomb raider game are ridiculously simple to navigate, full of QTEs that contribute nothing of substance to play, feels like it was designed by shareholders instead of creative designers, checks all the tired current gen AAA shooter boxes, gunplay is been there/done that, and the origin story is no more interesting than what was already established. 

Man, marketing is really effective these days.  Do you honestly think this going to be as good or better than Wasteland 2, BIoshock Infinite, Company of Heroes 2, GTAV, Total War Rome 2?  I'd say Heart of the Swarm is already more of a contender.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/17/2013 at 11:54 PM

Hell, DmC is better than this. That was a surprisingly decent game though. It seems to be mainly pc gamers that don't like this game though. PC gamer gave it 75, and Rockpapershotgun said it was alright when the game actually let you fucking play it!

BrokenH

03/18/2013 at 12:19 AM

Can't I just enjoy some titties?! Why do you have to rain on my parade, Blake? What have "I" ever done to you?! Coming in here with all this debating nonsense! Bah! (Just kidding,heh!)

Joking aside, the game looks great to me personally. No, I haven't played it but I have just played RE 6 recently and frankly TombRaider seems far more immersive with its' environments and big set piece moments. (At least as far as lay-out and visual appeal are concerned)

No it's not entirely realistic (Lara gets proficient at being a bad ass at a ridiculously fast pace after killing her first assailant) but I do like seeing a more human side of the character.

I suppose if you're a challenge junky and you like every game to be "Dark Souls hard" this might be too easy. However, I don't always play a game to get my ass kicked. I'm not as "spry and quick" as I used to be during my nes days when being hit once meant certain doom.

  I will agree Tombraider isn't doing anything "original" then again duh, it's a long running franchise. Even with this being a reboot they still wanted it to be an action platformer with 3rd person shooter elements. Naturally, those things don't exactly reinvent the wheel. (And probably were not meant to in the first place)

However, I do think Tombraider does its' genre extremely well. Whether or not you preferred the more unforgiving platforming segments of Tombraiders gone by is more of a personal preference.

As for Lara being a sex object? Yeah, you can see her that way (she's a beautiful woman in her athletic prime) but I also think she has enough depth and humanity to be a well rounded female protagonist to boot.

Not trying to be an ass or anything. Besides, you've played the game and I haven't so all my info is an outsider looking in perspective! Aka, at least for now you win by default! lol.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 12:28 AM

Seems is exactly the word I'd use. She doesn't really have a fully fleshed out character, she just yells and cries a lot.

 Dark Souls is the only game I actually like that's really unforgiving. Unless a game really pulls me in, I'll quit if it's too hard. My problem with TR is that everytime I died it was because of a shitty QTE, and that it barely let me play it for a good portion of the game. You may enjoy it though Ben.

BrokenH

03/18/2013 at 12:39 AM

I don't understand the obsession developers have with QTEs. (Do QTEs give good head under the table?) I can forgive them but it doesn't mean I want them there.

No doubt TombRaider has its' issues but it's difficult for me to fathom how its' plot and character development can be more ridiculous than RE 6. At least it seems to be trying a bit harder in certain areas than other games of its' ilk.

Machocruz

03/18/2013 at 01:08 AM

It depends on whether you like the typical western developed, cinematic 3rd person shooter adventure, and the gunplay isn't as good as Gears or Vanquish.  On the flip side, It's more polished than RE6, controls better, but it doesn't have that Japanese action game flair you like.

 Platforming is a little above Enslaved level of simplicity, but not much.

 I know I harped about the ludonarrative dissonance, but that's just a discussion point, it's easily ignored.  But don't expect something plausible or any deep insight into the character.  She's fragile in cutscenes, but Rambo during gameplay,

 I would rent or borrow first. I kind of loath the game and what it represents, but you might just want some mindless violence for an hour here and there.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 01:12 AM

Yeah. I hate it when games take the control away from the player constantly. When I buy a game, I don't want it to play itself.

BrokenH

03/18/2013 at 01:17 AM

A game that plays itself might as well be a movie rental. lol.

BrokenH

03/18/2013 at 01:16 AM

I don't expect most action platformers to have the deepest narrative/character development but I'll appreciate any attempt at it, Chris!

However, I will say Alice: Madness Returns surprised me both with its' challenge and its' narrative. Yeah, it's based on what is already a cliched theme (How many variations do we need of Alice's trip to Wonderland?) but it was at least a fascinating interpretation of the material.

Regardless, it'll be a bit before I snag it, probably. I'm too miserly with my money to buy games at their full price anymore unless I know without the shadow of a doubt they're going to leave some sort of lasting impression on me. (Okay, I bought Warriors Of Orochi 3 at full price! There's something I love about those types of hack n slash games that fills me with self loathing! What is wrong with me?!)

leeradical42

03/18/2013 at 12:27 AM

Well I dont know much about Tomb Raider Looks good bet enough on that the GOTY will be a while off once other games start hitting the shelfs TR will be an after thought im sure espesially with the heavy hitters coming Bioshock GTA5 etc so I would take all the TR praise with a grain of salt and lets just wait and see.Wink

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 12:30 AM

Exactly. Even if GTAV is terrible, it will probably win like a billion awards lol.

leeradical42

03/18/2013 at 12:43 AM

lol thats the truth lol

Jason Ross Senior Editor

03/18/2013 at 12:49 AM

As far as I'm concerned, there's only one Game of the Year this year for me. Hands down, Dead Island: Riptide is it. How do I know? Because that's the only game I'm certain will have a Game of the Year edition. Just look at the first one! It doesn't matter how many people hated it or how broken it was at launch, it defied all odds to become game of the year. Or at least it defied all critics, and proclaimed itself game of the year. I forget what matters more sometimes.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 01:15 AM

Bahaha there are so many examples of games that really don't deserve GOTY yet still proclaim it on the box. Fable 3 and AFL live, for instance.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 01:58 AM

I know we're supposed to hate the Spike VGAs, but I'd totally be down with only the games that they pick for GOTY getting GOTY nominees. And if you violate this, you will have your big toe cut off with the option to buy it back for 1200 Microsoft Points. I think that's fair.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 03:15 AM

Eh. Spikes Game of the Year is the same as every other game of the year award. They pick games their target demographic will like. Spikes is people who don't obsess over games as much as we do, but still, they're no worse than IGN or Gamespot.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 11:09 PM

Well, it's not about them being more credible. It's more that there should only be one GOTY Edition each year. It could be substituted with any well known award, I just picked them because despite their bullshit award show, they make good choices for GOTY.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 11:23 PM

No, I think there could be one or two, but games like Dead Island? Seriously?

Aboboisdaman

03/18/2013 at 01:59 AM

For some reason I feel like heaping unnecessary praise upon this game! Tongue Out

I'm gonna vote for TMNT on NES for GOTY. Yeah that game sucks ass. Yeah it came out in 1989.... but it's what I've been playing lately, and honestly I shouldn't even bother commenting on this lol. It's good to hear from you Blake.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 03:12 AM

Aaron! Comment on all my stuff. I love hearing from you man!

asrealasitgets

03/18/2013 at 05:02 AM

I haven't played this yet, but the fact that there aren't tombs in tomb raider kind of bothers me. From what I've read anyway. That's kind of cheating. Rather than reimagining how to make amazing puzzles, they made an uncharted clone. I've read people calling Lara Croft either a paper thin character or fleshed out realized person. I just wanted tombs man. *puffs a cigarette to calm down...

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/18/2013 at 05:26 AM

There are tombs, they're just optional, and basic puzzles.

Townz90

03/19/2013 at 12:02 PM

They really get the hair right. Mmmmm luscious hair. Not played it but I'm glad they've managed to bring back an old IP that was a shadow of it's former self and have it surpass anything else in the series. 2013 has been a great year so far and like you said it's only March! Might even better 2011 (Deus Ex:HR, Dark Souls, Arkham City!)

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/20/2013 at 09:59 PM

Since there are a number of new IP coming out, I might agree with you. I thought last year was on par with 2011 for gaming, just not in the areas it was the year before. It was more indie, mmo and f2p games.

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