Staff Blog: Nintendo Are Incompetent Fools!

Nintendo Are Incompetent Fools!

On 11/26/2015 at 11:32 AM by Blake Turner

Look pixlbit, I know the vast majority of you are celebrating your nations high score in the game of murdering the people what look different from you, but I just want to let you know that everytime I play a Nintendo game I feel some of my braincells leaking out of my ears.

I thought I'd get in a quick game of NSMBU and try and beat a level I was stuck on. I didn't beat it.Then I quit. Then I thought, you know what, I'll give it one more go. Then the game barged in like it was my non existent militant stepfather of unknown ethnicity who gets off on whatever power he possesses and said "Blake, it's 3am, go to fucking bed." At which point I said "I'm 23 motherfucker": and loaded anyway. It then did the video game equivelant of grounding me: Taking away my progress.

Now, I knew about the ridculously fucking stupid save system that nintendo are still idiotically adhering to even though it's 2015 and most game devs gave up on cocaine in the fucking 80s. The game does havge a quicksave feature, however. And I used it before, but nintendo decided that despite me having already quicksaved, not saved any progress over it, and still having the fucking quicksave balloon on the level that it was going to boot me back 5 levels, because apparently in whatever fucking fantasy land Nintendo concocted after smashing their heads against brick walls over and over again quicksaves are a single use item.

Which brings me to another thing: why the fuck is there no option to restart a level from the beginning if I've past a checkpoint? There are some levels where I can't get all the stars without having a certain power up and I can only get those power ups at the start of a level.

Seriously nintendo, can you maybe get in some new staff? Maybe some that have actually looked outside a fucking window since the start of the millenium? At the very least open said window so your staff can get some fresh air before their asphyxiation induced delusions turn into asphyxiation induced death!

Joaquim Mira Media Manager

11/26/2015 at 12:47 PM

Don't the checkpoints reset once you play another level?

Blake Turner Staff Writer

11/26/2015 at 06:34 PM

Yeah but you have to finish that other level.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

11/26/2015 at 02:03 PM

Oh Blake.....

What? What did i do?

Super Step Contributing Writer

11/26/2015 at 02:08 PM

The problem we face is what Millennial has looked outside a window? I know I haven't. Especially not after seeing pictures of the outdoors. I've been told those spiders are only in the Australian outback and I'll be fine, but I don't trust it.

11/26/2015 at 06:36 PM

I woke up with a spider crawling on me the other day and bilby freaking out which freaked me out more

mothman

11/26/2015 at 02:10 PM

Checkpoints, we don't need no steenkin' checkpoints. You finish or you start over from the beginning.

11/26/2015 at 07:00 PM

What is Nintendo's equivalent of trophies and achievements? Is it badges? Please be badges.

11/26/2015 at 08:24 PM

May be overused, but still:

asrealasitgets

11/26/2015 at 02:58 PM

Don't buy the Luigi DLC. You will want to commit murder.

11/26/2015 at 07:56 PM

But I like Luigi... and I like the game. I just wish the save system wasn't thought up by Courtney Love after raiding Kurt Cobaine's medicine cabinet.

11/27/2015 at 12:28 AM

and you know, I started up the game on WiiU again, I had totally forgotten about the annoyance of checkpoints in that game. Those star coins are a bitch to find too.

11/27/2015 at 12:42 AM

Yep, and I don't consider a level beaten unless I have all three.

Nicoleb1989

11/26/2015 at 04:42 PM

Yea I found the save system in that game ridiclous. They def improved with 3d World since it saves after every level.

11/26/2015 at 07:57 PM

Yeah 3D world is good for that, but I like this game better, because 3D Mario following a 2D space is annoying. Full 3D or full 2D. Nintendo's mix of both gives me a headache.

Although 4 player multiplayer in that game is the most fun I've had in a long, long time.

Captain N

11/27/2015 at 07:46 AM

On the NSMB games, I think they've been doing that since the first one. I'm not sure but I think it even dates back to SMB3 when it comes to Mario games with world maps. Quicksave in them can be a blessing or a curse. They really need to allow you to save after every level, unfortunately that happens until after you beat the game.

11/27/2015 at 09:23 AM

Yeah I know SMB3 and World do it, but they were on the NES and SNES. The first new Super Mario Bros was on the DS so I also gave it a pass. I think in this day and age you should be able to finish a level and know you'll be ok for next time.

PixlBit

Nintendo Are Incompetent Fools!

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