Blake's Thoughts on The New Evil Dead

On 08/19/2013 at 07:30 AM by Blake Turner

I'll rip your fucking soul out, you pathetic fuck! I'll fucking kill you like I killed your whore!

From that quote onwards, this movie is awesome. By the way, that quote comes in at the start of the movie. So the whole movie is fucking awesome. Now you know my thoughts, allow me to respond to some critics.

"There are no characters. Just people."

Firstly... I liked most of these characters more than I liked some of them in the original. There were no characters I truly despised, and there were actually two that I kinda really loved.

"The heroin intervention, only a ploy to get them there."

Uh, what film did you watch? The entire film is based around it. They think Mia is just going through withdrawels at first, that's why they don't leave straight away, and that's what allows her to do the fucked up shit she does.

"Gore. And more gore. An exercise in gore is not a movie."

Did you you not see the original movie? This movie is fun, shut the fuck up.

"There is a no story. No back story on anything or anyone. Just Gore."

Yeah there is. It's just short and forced. It's a fucking horror movie dickwad.

"There is no Ash!"

There kind of is... in fact there are kind of three ash's in a way... I think you're just pissed because the strong central lead is female.

"There is no humor!"

Humour didn't come into Evil Dead until the second movie. Also, what movie did you watch? I laughed my ass off. The cheese factor is there on purpose. The gore is over the top on purpose. Some of the violence is played for laughs. If you don't like that, that's not the movies fault, but Evil Dead's strength has always been in physical body horror. This movie fucking delivers.

"Then what is the point of a remake? Gore! Only thing that makes this crapfest a remake is the title, Evil Dead. They could have called, We Are Stealing Souls (and your money) and no one would have said, that reminds me of Evil Dead."

Really? The cabin in the woods, the necronomicon, the deadites, the tree rape scene, the chainsaw, the boomstick, and some direct quotes wouldn't have tipped them off? Are you fucking retarded?

"Pathetic!"

Like it or not, this is one of the best horror remakes EVER. Raimi and Cambell produced this movie, and I feel the spirit of the original lives on. The movie is fun, shamelessly over the top, and all in all a good time. The gore in this movie is incredibly cartoonish, and the dialogue feels ripped from the eighties. We just don't get people saying "Feast on this" before shoving a chainsaw through someones head anymore.

All in all, fuck the critics. If you don't mind gore, GO SEE THIS MOVIE! You'll have a blast. Raimi and Cambell are making evil dead 4 soon, so if you want the comedy version, wait for that and shut the fuck up.

Homelessrook

08/19/2013 at 07:36 AM

I will shut the fuck up! I still like the original better!LOL.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

08/19/2013 at 07:43 AM

The original is better. I'm just saying the new one is pretty fucking good as well.

08/19/2013 at 07:56 AM

I know. I was just fucking with you.

08/19/2013 at 08:33 AM

Psh. I wouldn't have had a problem if you disagreed. I would have argued with you, but at the end of the day you're entitled to your own opinion.

jgusw

08/19/2013 at 09:09 AM

One of these days I'll watch this movie. I could do without the raping tree though.

I thought the original had funny dialogue. There is a scene when a girl says, "look at her eyes" [referring to the demon possessed chick]. My friends & I are like, "Fuck her eyes. The evil bitch is floatting around the room!"

08/19/2013 at 09:57 AM

Yeah, I don't think it's AS graphic in this one. You see a tree branch go up her dress and that's it. The movie is incredibly gory, so... if you're troubled by that don't watch it. You won't see internal organs or anything though, just burnt and severed flesh for the most part.

Halochief90

08/19/2013 at 11:58 AM

The originals were awesome but this is good to hear. From watching the trailer months ago, I could not detect any humor in this remake. But now I'm interested in checking it out.

08/19/2013 at 01:04 PM

The trailer... The red band trailer shows the most disturbing part of the movie. The box cutter scene is far and away worse than anything in the film. The chainsaw through the head is my favourite kill though. When you see it you'll know why. The deadites are kind of funny sometimes too...

Cyberxion

08/19/2013 at 12:48 PM

"Humour didn't come into Evil Dead until the second movie."

Exactly, Blake! Any humor in the original Evil Dead was unintentional, and was owed to Bruce Campbell's cheesy acting, as well as the low-quality special effects. It was awesome to be sure, but like you said, humor didn't come into the series until the sequel, a fact that few critics seem to be aware of. It's almost as if their appreciation for the original is lip-service at best, and that none of the fuckers have actually watched it.

Anyway, I loved the new Evil Dead. I especially dug how it subverted audience expectations. Mia's brother seemed set to end up the hero, which made it all the cooler when it turned out to be Mia herself. I caught it in the theater, and had a blast.

I'm also really stoked by Riami and Alvarez's plans for the follow-ups. Alarez wants to do a sequel to this flick, and Riami a sequel to Army of Darkness, and then they plan to merge both Ash and Mia's narratives in a third flick. That seems like a kick-ass idea to me, but to be fair I'm a huge Evil Dead fan, so chances are good that I'm not as objective as I could be. :P

08/19/2013 at 01:05 PM

Um... Fuck yes! Do you know if Alveras will make the next one more comical or will play it mostly straight like this one?

And yeah... the blonde haired guy was awesome though. He got fucked up by that nail gun though. And then the crowbar... What was your favourite kill btw?

08/19/2013 at 01:29 PM

I liked Olivia's kill, if only because she was sawing off a chunk of her face moments beforehand, and went all ape-shit on that dude with a hypodermic needle. Sure, she just got bludgeoned to death with a piece of toilet, but everything leading up to that point was awesome. :D

08/19/2013 at 11:33 PM

The toilet death was still cool. I'm a sucker for the final kill with the chainsaw. I was laughing my ass off- more out shock and holy fuck that was awesome than anything else. That and when the deadite's face was cut in two and still talking... who says there isn't any humour?

Alex-C25

08/19/2013 at 01:11 PM

I was planning to watch this film, but it sadly passed very fast from the cinemas of my city. I think i'll first watch the original and then go to the remake and after that, the two remaining remaining Evil Dead films.

08/19/2013 at 01:17 PM

Don't expect it to be better than the original. Just expect to be fun and capture the same spirit.

FAF101

08/19/2013 at 01:28 PM

I watching this movie and the gore was ok but I need to see the original because I was very blahs while watching this one. It was meh

It's not going to connec to everyone. Only horror fans are really going to dig it. You've watched evil dead 2 and 3 right?

08/21/2013 at 03:32 PM

I love horror movies, but some just arent cutting anymore. They really dont feel scary, sure there are a few jumpy moments but nothing like holy cow.

I actually didn't know about the 2nd and 3rd ones since I never saw the original one to begin with but it's something I am planning to watch.

Super Step Contributing Writer

08/20/2013 at 04:02 AM

See... I don't like the first one, I thought it was more cheesy and boring. So I don't know how much I care about this, but I guess I wouldn't mind it.

Evil Dead II on the other hand was hilarious and I need to finish it.

PixlBit