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South Park Stick of Truth Can Go Fuck Itself.


On 03/07/2014 at 06:48 AM by Blake Turner

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 Fuck this game. Fuck it up it's stupid fucking ass. I was having a tonne of fun with it until the fucking quick time events, which are FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE! Seriously, it's broken. No matter how hard I hammer the buttons I just can't get passed them. It's fucking ludicrous. Hammer S as hard as you can. I hammered it so hard the key came loose. Still nothing. I plugged my gamepad in. Still no luck. HOW THE FUCK DO I PASS THIS SHIT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


 

Comments

transmet2033

03/07/2014 at 07:24 AM

You suddenly remember that it is an Obsidian game and decide to come back to it after the fans have modded it to the point of being playable.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/07/2014 at 07:52 AM

I think it's a PC issue, because I've seen console footage where people have passed it without a single problem. 

 I absolutely adore Obsidian, I just wish they playtested their games more.

Nick DiMola Director

03/07/2014 at 10:58 AM

Which part? Haven't really gotten stuck on anything outside of one small part. Wondering if it's the same.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/07/2014 at 12:02 PM

Anal Probing.

Nick DiMola Director

03/07/2014 at 01:15 PM

Oh, bummer, sounds like it must be a bug as I didn't have any problems there. The part I got stuck on was more of an informational issue. Something I had to do that the game didn't explicitly detail. Also happened much later in the game that there.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/07/2014 at 01:44 PM

KnightDriver

03/08/2014 at 03:05 AM

Oh ha ha. Anal probing. Quick Time Event. You're having trouble with it. Ha ha ha ha... sorry... ha ha ha... can't... stop... laughing... ha ha.

Homelessrook

03/07/2014 at 07:32 AM

No Fuck it because it took so long to come out! I do not even want to play the crappy fucking game now. FUCK IT, I am going to plat ET on Atari 2600!

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/07/2014 at 12:04 PM

It took too long to come out? I'm sorry, but how is that a justification for not buying a game? Apart from that part (which I eventually got past), this game is an excellent love letter to fans of the show.

Homelessrook

03/07/2014 at 08:55 PM

Nah, I will get once it hits the discount bin. I love South Park.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/07/2014 at 09:09 PM

 Fair enough. Yeah, maybe wait. By then it'll be patched too. But yeah, if you're a fan of the show you need to eventually play this. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a game before.

Homelessrook

03/07/2014 at 09:21 PM

Yes, I was just fuckingg around with you. I thought you would have got that when I said I was going to play ET,lol.

asrealasitgets

03/07/2014 at 10:01 AM

Fucking Fuck! I dont want to play this now.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/07/2014 at 12:03 PM

I got past it. I haven't come across anything like it since. The game is still worth playing, even if that is one of the hardest QTEs I've ever come across. My hands cramped up and everything.

Super Step Contributing Writer

03/07/2014 at 01:37 PM

I think Nick might be right, it sounds like you had a bug at that part. 

Speaking of which, Fez got an unplayable glitch on me the other day. Ugh. 

KnightDriver

03/08/2014 at 03:08 AM

Oh ha! He had a bug in that part. The part with the anal probing. The QTE anal probing. Ha ha... Just.. can't... stop... laughing.. ha ha.

Casey Curran Staff Writer

03/07/2014 at 01:48 PM

Oh Blake. It wouldn't be a big game if you didn't have some kind of rage coming. That does sound bullshit though, glad I got the console version. Though the game does have a few issues I thought were glitches just because it's so damn vague on what you need to do. Still having a blast, but don't like that.

Also there's a bit coming up with the goth kids that needs a QTE. Is going to be 100 times worse if the alien ship caused this.

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/07/2014 at 03:10 PM

 Dude. I'm so pissed off because otherwise the game is fucking close to perfection. I wasn't like "this is a buggy piece of crap, time to tell everyone how shit it was," it was more "I NEED TO PLAY MORE OF THIS GAME! WHY ARE YOU STOPPING ME!!!!" That kind of rage.

 But yeah, the PC port is pretty fucking piss poor to begin with. I can't even complete the shitting mini game.

KnightDriver

03/08/2014 at 03:09 AM

Yea the anal probing QTE was really, really shitty. Oh ha, ha. ha... ok I'm good now. ha ha.

jgusw

03/08/2014 at 08:45 AM

That sucks.  I'm thinking about the game.  I watched a friend playing it and it looks like fun.  I'm not a big fan of qte. 

xDarthKiLLx

03/10/2014 at 01:27 AM

I beat is on normal in under 10 hours.

Suck it up.  The QTE's aren't that bad.  

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/10/2014 at 02:54 AM

Did you play it on console? It's poor optimisation for pc that's the problem.

BrokenH

03/10/2014 at 03:39 AM

I can stick up for Blake on this one. When I downloaded Witcher 2 and Dead Space 2 on my pc they would run mostly fine the majority of the time but get really janky and unresponsive during qtes. Seems to be a common compatability issue between most pcs and games with qtes. Frown

Blake Turner Staff Writer

03/10/2014 at 11:41 AM

Yeah. At least the Witcher 2 has an option to turn off difficult QTE's. The Witcher 2 came out on PC first though, so it has no excuse. A lot of it has to do with the model of keyboard too. I'm just using a regular old logitech keyboard, which isn't built for mashing keys. It gets the job done if you're holding down buttons, or pressing them normally, but it's not supposed to be mashed.

xDarthKiLLx

03/10/2014 at 11:40 PM

No doubt. I played on my PS3

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