hey BRoken, I clicked on this on Twitter, but I'm not seeing it in the main blog feed on Pixlbit. IS this a draft?
Societal damage: What female gamers still go through.
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 On 02/27/2013 at 09:34 AM by BrokenH See More From This User » |
Sorry I didn’t make rounds yesterday. I was kind of in a rut and had to go grocery shopping. Beyond that, my cat is still in a fragile shaky state. I want to say he’s getting better but Alex still has to force feed him with a dropper syringe. We’ve also been doing steam treatments to help clear his sinuses. (For those not in the know, my kitty has been sick lately.)
"This bro so tired he picked up his shoe to answer when the phone rang! Wait, his shoe IS his phone. Ohhhh!"
Next up, I got a call that sat somewhere between late in the evening and early in the morning. My head was so filled with the fugue of fatigue at first I didn’t recognize the voice of a dear old friend I haven’t spoken with in awhile. Normally I’d just come out and say who it is but said friend has been going through difficult times so for the sake of conduct, I’m keeping her anonymous!
What she said was important in that “take pause and reflect on society as a whole” kind of way. I honestly don’t have many of those types of chats. Usually my friends and I simply geek out about comic books, discuss videogames, and tell stupid jokes. Yeah, we did that too but that’s not what was profound about our discussion.
Truth be told, I’m not a feminist. (Based on what limited knowledge I have of feminism. It's a rather diverse movement with countless fractions and sub categories!) At least to me it seems like only a woman can know how difficult it is to be a woman and what their own gender needs in order to be happy, productive, and safe. Yes, you can be a “bro” and pick up the mantle of feminism too but that still doesn’t mean you are closer to having a vagina whilst going through the wondrous yet painful process of child birth! Seriously, as guys there are some things we’ll never know about women. We can empathize but I don’t think we will ever fully understand. (And I’m sure women never will fully understand men either)
This train of thought actually started before my friend called. I was watching a you tube video of Raychul Moore’s. For those not in the know, she’s a gamer who is crazy in love with most rpgs. However, Ray drew flak for not loving Skyrim and not loving Dragon’s Dogma. It really pisses me off when gamers post vulgar insults at other gamers for not liking or hating the same games they like & hate. It’s time to come to grips with the fact we’re all unique. Why not just accept that person has a different opinion? But I digress. Raychul also gets the usual “Nice boobs!” and “You’re so pretty I’d rape you!” kind of comments too. I’m not quoting those replies word for word but they’re just as unsettling, immature, and creepy.
If you so happen to be a troll reading this from my 1up days or are a certain arch nemesis of mine with the initials B.M. you’re probably having a stroke! “Ben gets upset when real females in the gaming scene are treated like meat?! But I thought he was a raging MISOGYNIST who occasionally puts out illustrations of soft-core pornographic wank fantasy!”. What can I say? You can’t slap stereotypical labels on people and call it a day. As individuals we all have many layers. Shocking, right? I know! To quote Tenacious D, “I did not mean….to blow your mind!”
Anyway, back to my friend. As a long time gamer she’s entrenched neck deep in “the industry” herself. Yet she’s been struggling. This wonderful person I know is smart and funny. She’s really sweet too. Thing is, guys cannot stop gawking at her long enough to acknowledge there’s anything more to her than her looks. Fellas (and lesbians), don’t get me wrong! I’m aroused by beautiful women too. I’d be the last bloke to judge someone over them briefly ogling at the metaphorical goddess in the room. Yet I do think when we’re in that mode we have to catch ourselves, breath deeply, and step back. That person wants to be loved for who they are on the inside too. That person has much more to give than their body. Believe me, I know it’s hard to not eventually assign “wanna tap dat” designations to potential mates when biological cravings kick it into tenth gear but are we not human? Do we not pride ourselves on having more control than other animals?
This person has certainly been through the ringer. She’s had stalkers. She’s dealt with overly possessive abusive boyfriends. She’s even questioned her sexuality. (And who can blame her when men act like such piggish assholes!) If you think you’ve guessed who she is based on all this you’re probably still wrong because more women go through these kind of horror stories than any of us care to admit. Heck, based on my description she could be your sister, your daughter,your mother, or even your wife.
A part of me cannot help but to feel dead inside when I’m faced with such ugly truths. We like to believe the gamer community is progressive yet how can it be when this shit happens under our noses? Yet before I blame a single niche, let me allude to the fact this a sociological problem that has deeper roots. It’s not limited to gamers and geeks. Men, children, and women are all marketed as products in one way or another. We see them in commercials. We see them in games. We see them in television. They are the ideal “poster-icons” who are either promoted as the American dream or as masturbatory porn.
There is a part of the male psyche that hordes pretty things. We fear losing these pretty things so we put them on shelves or put them in cages. This is why we collect games, music cds, and dvds. Sadly, this mentality also occasionally applies to the women in our lives too. Unfortunately, what man cannot imprison forever he often tries to destroy.
I know at least one female is reading this and is thinking “Um, this is all heartwarming and all Ben, but what about us gals who aren’t “beautiful”? What sage words would you depart to us?” To which I would reply “You are beautiful. And it’s a shame entertainment and the media has such a narrow perception of what beauty actually is.” You see, society has a funny way of tricking us and making us feel unworthy. There are so many attractive people who don’t see themselves that way because we are all bombarded with exaggerated and ridiculous imagery on a daily basis. We live in an age where a super model’s blemishes and imperfections can be brushed over using photo-shop. That’s the thing. “The pretty ones” are just like us. It’s just that’s not immediately apparent due to all of the hair gel, skin cream, and last minute photo edits!
Having stated all this, don’t expect me to be a messiah, okay? I am still going to be socially awkward and I’m still going to drool over my favorite comic book, video-game, and anime babes! However, I do accept “real women” deserve the same courtesy allotted to every other living organism. It’s not a crime to break out the porn or adjust the camera angle in Resident Evil 6 to get that perfect shot of Ada Wong’s “assets”. Be that as it may, we must realize a real female is not polygons and pixels. There’s a soul in there so we must adjust our behavior accordingly!
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